The Story Of How I Got Hitched
by NeonRocks89
Summary: A year after Blaine's little accident we find everyone back together for a big boozy birthday bash! Join Kurt on the second chapter of his story to see what life has instore; Can Santana cause any more chaos? Could Landin be any cuter? And when will his little rag tag group of friends learn to have a filter? Sequel to 'The Story Of My Life' Beta'd by KlaineLove and CosmicCastawayuk
1. You Say Old, I Say Crazy!

"I'm old! Kurt tell me I'm not old!" Jake whines, plopping down into the chair beside me. His party hat has a tear down the side, making it fall jauntily across one half of his face, but he didn't seem to notice or care.

"Well it is your thirtieth…" I smile as he looks furiously at me through one eye. "But don't worry; I'll keep you looking young!"

"That means I need to try. Oh God, I'm old!" He throws his hand up across his face and groans loudly. "Kill me. Right now. I don't care how." I couldn't help but chuckle a little at his melodramatics, sure thirty was a milestone age but when you look as good as Jake does in a figure hugging pair of pants and grey shirt you can't really moan. He doesn't even have any wrinkles without any skin care regime for god sake!

"I hate to break it to you but you have a six year old child. You've been old for a looooonnnnggg time. Why stress about it now?" I tell him bluntly as I giggle, passing Jake him the champagne to top up his glass, but he yanks it out my hand and swigs straight from the bottle before holding it tight to his chest.

"Just because you're twenty six and have hot sex with your hot boyfriend that lives with you, and your hot best friend…." He grumbles, swigging down more of the fizzy liquid, only spluttering when the bubbles hit his nose.

"Did you just call Santana hot?" I raise my eyebrow towards him and his face drains of any colour.

"I'm thirty and I'm straight..." He yelps. "I repeat, kill me! Hash tag, game over!" His head flops down onto my shoulder in protest and I can't help but laugh softly.

"I'm pretty sure you're not. If your very attractive husbands limp is anything to go by…." I glance over at Dale trying to dance as best as he can with all his weight on one leg and Santana jumping on his back.

"We had sex on the kitchen floor when your dad took Landin. He pulled a muscle." Jakes head rises off my shoulder a little to watch Dale. "I stopped half way through to say…'Is it wrong our child eats in here?'" I choke a little on my own glass as he looks at me seriously. "Do you know how long it's been since we had any kind of sex that's not in our bedroom? A long time and I stopped to say that. Oh God I sound like my dad!" His head is placed heavily back down to my shoulder.

"Why would you know your dad would say something like that? And remind me never to get married, OR have children." I smile wickedly, remembering mine and Blaine's kitchen adventure only a few weeks ago.

"He likes to share everything! They are cute… But God can they be a cock block. I can't even count how many times he has almost caught us when we thought he was sleeping…..It's a good job he's cute!" He mumbles from under my chin.

"True! I could live with interrupted sex if I had one of him." I smile just thinking about my gorgeous nephew from his little diva foot stomps to the way medical jargon literally rolls out of his mouth with a grin on his dimpled face.

"And it's only going to get tougher when there are two little ninjas to tackle. God I'm old! And I don't have my child tonight. I'm going to do a body shot off of somebody right now!" He moves to stand up and look for a victim. "Dale…. Get naked now!"

Dale responds happily, whipping his T-shirt over his head and throwing it onto a disgusted Santana before Mrs B helps remove his pants. Within minutes Jake has him straddled on the floor, licking salt from his navel to his Adams apple. I stay firmly seated in place as everyone decides to take a turn, including Cooper and thank my lucky stars that my dad took Landin for the evening.

I'm sitting taking in the party around me, watching my friends interact with one another. This last year had been crazy for us all. Maya and Santana had bitched each other out at any opportunity, which had become few and far between as we prepared for launch night and Santana spent most of her time held up in the studio writing and recording her new record. Dale and Jake had decided to start openly looking for another small addition to their family, Landin was getting older and more like a little mini adult every day (which definitely kept us all on our toes.) Rachel and Finn had just had twins, two more nephews to be spoiled whenever Uncle Kurt had time to visit them out in LA, where Finn was teaching. Cooper…..well let's just say being tied down hadn't agreed with him and he was back to his old play boy ways.

Then there was Blaine! Ever since his clumsy trip down a flight of steps he had been accident free and was living with me and Santana. You heard me; Kurt Hummel has a gorgeous live in boyfriend! He had moved in to recuperate after his operation and much to my own delight it worked and there was no room to argue it being a permanent thing when Santana went and collected his stuff without either of us knowing. That's what I'm thinking about when I feel two strong hands clasp over my eyes and a firm chest pressed against the back of my shoulders.

"Guess who?" I hear growled into my ear seductively and I can feel all of the hairs on my body stand on end.

"Channing Tatum? I knew you'd be back for more." I feel a bite at the bottom of my earlobe and yelp in surprise. "I'm joking! Blaine get your butt on this couch so I can snuggle into you!" I feel him leap across the back of it and land with a small thud beside me.

"That wasn't very nice!" He pouts adorably at me, fluttering his eyelashes. "I want a kiss as payment for your crimes…" I cut him off, catching his lips soundly in my own, breaking away when I hear a moan float into my mouth. "That's not where I wanted it." I swat his head playfully as he winks.

"Well THAT will have to wait until later!" I smile, licking my lips and tasting chocolate frosting from the endless amount of birthday cake he has no doubt eaten. "You should be ashamed. It's not like you can blame this behaviour on drink."

"I'm a slut. What can I say?" He shrugs, leaning back against the arm and stretching so his tanned mid riff peeks out ever so slightly under his polo shirt.

"I hope by that you mean you really enjoy having sex with me and not any guy that will smile at you." Blaine barks out a husky laugh and I can tell he's horny.

"Of course Peachy! AND I'm looking forward to some very slutty drunk Kurt sex tonight." He trails a finger in intricate patterns over my thigh, which makes my pulse quicken.

"You're not getting anywhere near my ass!" I grin at him and he huffs out a little breath. "I couldn't sit down all day yesterday because of you! If anyone's coming in anyone's ass it's me!"

"EWWWW! My brother's talking about dirty sex!" Finn groans from where he has appeared in front of me.

"EWWWWW! My brother's having dirtier sex than me!" Cooper groans right after. "Scarecrow, don't you just want to come home with me?" He tries to whisper, sitting onto the table and pulling Finn with him.

"Dude!" Finn cries, trying to cover his ears.

"Oh lighten up Finn! Your brothers hot. So am I! I'd be stupid to miss out on an opportunity because I didn't ask!" Cooper throws an arm around him, shouting as close as he can to Finn's ears while he tries to swat them away.

"He's mine cooper!" Blaine's pulls his legs on top of mine to 'shield' me.

"Cooper you're straight and I love your brother." I sigh loudly, watching him try to rub his fist over Finn's head as they balance precariously on the table edge.

"I think my dicks forgotten that he's been neglected for so long!" Cooper yelps the end of the sentence as Finn bites the hand holding his mouth shut.

"You had sex on Tuesday! We all got the text of the girl's boobs." Blaine counters, shuddering a little at the image.

"That was four days ago. Four! It might as well have shrivelled up and fallen off." He points down to his crotch. "Finn please tell me you're at least having less sex than me?"

"Dude, Rachel just had twins! Even if I wasn't exhausted all the time, I can't. They are like breast feeding machines." Finn sighed tiredly.

"Hold on you've not had sex for three months….Dude!" Cooper pats his back softly in apology.

"Six! But who's counting?" Finn jokes and Blaine gags beside me. "What's wrong with Blaine?"

"You said breast feeding. Blaine breathe, that's what they are there for." I turn back to Cooper who still hasn't moved since Finn spoke. "Cooper are you in shock?"

"Six months! You haven't had sex in six months. Go back to that hotel room, tell your exhausted wife she is hot and fuck her hard or I'll do it!" Cooper rants, Blaine gags louder this time beside me. "Hetero sex?" Cooper nods at him and he shakes his head.

"Rachel and Finn sex." I say in explanation. "Finn don't do that, it's not a good idea." But Finn's already running –literally running – out of Jake and Dale's front door. Santana who was dancing just behind us hops on to Coopers lap.

"What's wrong with lurch?" She nods to the Finn shaped hole practically carved into the door.

"He's going home to pounce on Rachel." I sigh, trying not to picture it myself.

"Oh he's going to bed without a cock left!" Santana laughs, motioning her fingers like scissors near Cooper's nose making him go cock-eyed.

"Have sex with me?" Cooper blabs out of nowhere.

"I don't care how big you say you are, my love tunnel is lined with electric barbed wire and if your cock so much as winks in my direction I will flick on the switch." Santana saunters off into the crowd to cause mayhem and Blaine gags again.

"Is it wrong that I'm really turned on right now?" I just gape at Cooper open mouthed, not knowing how to reply to that. "Don't care. I'm away to find Mrs B!" Cooper's off on his mission and Blaine gags again staring after him.

"You okay babe?" I pull him in closer to me, kissing the top of his head.

"I need an acid shower... So much hetero images ingrained in my brain. I was ready to let you fuck me hard and now I think they broke my penis." He cries, blinking rapidly. "There is no chance for me to ever get hard again!"

"And here was me thinking I could blow you in the bathroom to keep you happy till we got home." I grinned into his hair as his whole body shivered.

"I'll meet you there in five." Blaine plants a searing kiss to my lips before jumping back over the couch and running to the nearest bathroom.

* * *

"I can't believe you just said that!" I stand; mouth wide, my skinny jeans discarded and the taste of his cum still on my tongue. When I offered up a bathroom treat this is not what I had signed up for. "You can't just say that to people!"

"Kurt, calm down! Is it really such a bad thing to ask?" Blaine's eyes search mine for an answer I am not going to give whilst looking like an extra in a safe sex commercial.

"Yes! You don't just ask your boyfriend to marry you while he is drunkenly sucking you off in a friend's bathroom…Mid swallow!" I fume, pulling my pants back on as quickly as I can. "I could have choked and died Blaine. And not in the sexy kinky kind of way." I jump a little to get the waist band to where it should be and fasten my button.

"Kurt just stop a minute!" He waves his hands in front of me and sits on top of the toilet lid. "You're kind of hurting my feelings here. And also, sidebar, choking is weird, it's not sexy."

"Blaine please tell me it was a joke? And you didn't mean it? That it was just the greatest head you've ever gotten and it came out in the heat of the moment?" I look at him begging and realise although I feel somewhat sobered, I am anything but.

"Well I'm not going to admit it now if I did, am I!? Would it really be so horrible to marry me? We've been together a year and a half Kurt! Living together for a year of that. You nursed me when I had my broken leg and you love me and I love you and we've known each other since we were three. Would it be so terrible to have me as a husband?" He looks crushed and I throw myself into his lap.

"It's not terrible! It's just this setting is not an acceptable place for a proposal. I do love you but I am never telling our future children OR my dad that you proposed to me mid blow job in Dale and Jakes en-suite!" I push back his stray curls from his forehead. "I promise if you choose a suitable location, when the time is right I'll say yes! This is forever."

"But one day?" He blinks several times at me and I realise how upset this made him. "Promise?"

"I promise if you propose anywhere but a friends bathroom mid blow job, mid any type of sex, not near a dumpster, or on your hospital bed drugged up, or on a farm, or a zoo, or anywhere that has any affiliation with sport, or those weird helium balloons, or anything with fish or in a Wal-Mart….oh! Or in front of a street vendor. Then I will one hundred per cent definitely say yes." I place a soft kiss to his head. "Unless I beat you to it." I see the hope in his eyes at the last comment.

"Okay. I'll keep that duly noted." He captures my lips in his own, humming contentedly. "Now how about I repay your favour?"

"That would definitely be okay by me." I grin as he starts to undo my pants to take them off again. Business is resumed, all trains ready to leave the platform.

* * *

"Okay everyone!" Dale yells to get the parties attention. "I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for coming! To our friends at work, our closest friends and the losers from out of state!" Dale stalls to look around at everyone. "I have had an amazing night and by the look of my passed out husband he has too! So here's to another year of love, family, friends and booze!" Everyone cheers and downs their respective glasses. Dale then slumps into the chair beside me while Blaine is up dancing with Santana.

"How's my floppy doing?" He smiles at me and I notice the tell-tale pupils of him being a little more than tipsy.

"Happy!" I smile goofily at him.

"You totally had sex in one of our rooms!" He moans.

"Not exactly….But I have a very talented tongue, or so I'm told!" I stick it out to lick his cheek.

"Please don't tell me I have Blaine's cum on my face!" He rubs it roughly.

"Oh no! I always swallow..." I wink at him and his jaw opens in shock.

"You are disgustingly vulgar at times."

"And you are delightfully jealous. How's the leg, limpy?" I cock my head to the side and watch him wince as he subconsciously tries to move it.

"Of course my husband told you. Is this where you laugh at my misfortune?" He looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"This is where I admire you for still jumping at the chance to have sex on the kitchen floor after being together for years. Very commendable effort indeed!" I smile, pulling him in for a hug.

"I think so. Better than being one of those bitter couples who can't stand each other. As much as his obsessive cleaning skills drive me mad I wouldn't want anyone else." He smiles dreamily towards his room where Jake was tucked in an hour ago.

"Speaking of bitter couples…The shop opening. I need you to keep Santana in check while I handle Maya! Deal?"

"Urgh fine! But if she bites me I'm giving up the security detail. And you owe me four nights of babysitting." Dales raises his hand to the front of my face, wiggling four fingers.

"Deal! Love you chip!" I slap my hand against his.

"Love you too floppy!" He mumbles as his eyes start to droop.


	2. Opening Night

"Well I don't think that's going to work…Because I asked for the glass to have a black edge…No that's not what we have, you sent us grey. Grey edged glass!" I listen to Mrs B pacing up and down the treated old wooden floor in the front of the shop as I keep my head down, trying to put the finishing touches to my consultation room. So far I had succeeded in moving my pencils from one side of the desk to the other. Maya was in the small adjoining room, rolling up fabrics and sorting embellishments and every so often I heard a muffled curse word as she dropped something.

"Is she still on the phone to the suppliers?" Maya yelled from 'the closet' as we were calling it and I walked over to stand in the doorway.

"Yeah. I don't see what her problem is though, we could have bigger problems then wrong coloured glass. Nobody could turn up!" I pull at the sleeves of my sweater as the nerves and doubts kick back in.

"Listen to me Hummel. This is going to be a success! And if they don't come for us, they will at least come to see the illustrious Santana Lopez!" Maya spreads her arms out wide and pronounces the last three words more than the rest.

"I know. I just feel…scared!" I nibble my bottom lip into my mouth to chew on it.

"Well so do I, and as much as I hate to admit it, Santana is doing us a huge favour by being the face of the brand, so to speak. Everyone loves a celebrity." She pats my shoulder before starting to reorganise the silks.

"Hey! No hating on my best friend. I thought you guys were getting along better anyway?" I watch her move the same roll into four separate places before she picked up a new one to start the process all over again.

"We are going to get along for the launch night but there is still this weird thing between us." She sighs. "Like when I think she has finally gotten over what went down between us, she will leap back to the bitch comments or bring a new one night stand around." Maya shrugs as she bends to pick up another fabric.

"Well I for one think she has forgiven you. I just don't think she's ready to admit it to herself yet." I say, spinning around on my feet to go back to what I had been doing. "And that weird thing you keep mentioning? Totally sexual tension!" I yell as I sit onto my chair and line up my sketch pad and phone. My lunch date with Blaine could not come quick enough.

"Well I don't think that's good enough. Well how about you take that phone shove it up your ass and go fuck yourself! Or better yet shove it up your supervisor's ass and fuck him too!" Mrs B has started to get louder through the front. "Argghhh, I hate salesmen!" Is all I hear before the chimes on the glass front door tinkle and then there is a slam followed by silence.

* * *

"I know, I know! Sorry I'm late." I plant a quick kiss to Blaine's lips before sliding into the seat opposite him, shrugging out of my coat. "What a morning!"

"What happened?" He takes a sip from his coffee cup and uses his free hand to cup mine over the table.

"Mrs B had a meltdown about the glasses that were delivered, Maya is driving me insane with her closet organising and Santana's dress is an inch too tight. We were stupid to think we could be ready. We are never going to be ready for tonight." I wave down a waitress to order a coffee and watch Blaine eyeing me carefully. "Too nervous to eat." I explain as the waitress wonders off.

"Okay, listen to me. You are amazing. This idea is amazing. Nothing is going to go wrong." He squeezes gently on my hand to comfort me.

"But-"

"But nothing! Tell Maya to stop organising, tell Mrs B nobody will care about the glasses as long as the drinks are good. Which Dale says they are. Get the seam on Santana's dress taken out…see? Problems solved." He smiles at me and I feel my lips slowly curving up at the corners.

"Have I told you lately you're the best live in boyfriend anyone could want?" He sticks his tongue out at me across the table. "I'm being a nightmare, aren't I?"

"A little…but my reward will be worth it." He grins sliding his foot up the inside of my thigh under the table.

"And what reward is that exactly?" I huff out as his toes nudge gently against my crotch.

"Successful opening night sex. I think it's going to be my favourite kind." He grins as all the blood in my body starts to run south and I squeeze his hand to try and make him stop.

"I see…your favourite…meaning you…Stop it!...Meaning you have a favourite kind?" I ramble as he slips his shoe off and returns his toes to the teasing. (maybe talk about how kurt is finding it hard to concentrate).

"I have five. Ranked in order of preference." He takes another sip of his coffee as if unaware of what he is doing to me right now. "Number five; Shower sex. Number four; kitchen table sex. Number three; wall sex…especially when you're pinning me to it. Number two; just because you remembered you love me sex. Number one; Very drunk, very horny, very loud Kurt sex. It's my absolute favourite." I am now having a very big problem underneath the table after watching him talk as his toes apply just the right amount of pressure, but then he suddenly removes his foot and sits completely upright as the waitress brings over my coffee.

"So I'm picking up your dad and Carole at five and then Rachel and Finn are coming down once the babies have been fed. Cooper says he'll be there as soon as he can after his meeting…Why are you looking at me like that?" He cocks his head to the side to watch me as I frown.

"You are a complete dick! I retract every best boyfriend statement I ever made to this day." I whisper agitated across the table, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

"Why? Are you having some… hard times I'm unaware of?" He winks at me so I lean across the table to whisper lower.

"You know exactly what you just did to me! And now you're just talking about your errands as if you don't. And instead of going back to work, all I want to do is take you in the closet for a quickie." I groan and he bursts out laughing.

"That can be arranged..." He trails off, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"No it can't. Unless you want Maya, or worse Mrs B, to walk in on us. No closet sex until the store is successful." I nod my head before downing my coffee and positioning my coat over the bulge at my crotch so I can get up and leave.

"Don't I get a kiss?" Blaine pouts at me and I lean in close so our noses are touching.

"No sex for me, no kisses for you. See you tonight!" I sing song as I turn my back to leave.

"Your ass looks great in those pants!" He yells just as I'm about to push the heavy oak door open.

"Too bad you aren't getting it then, huh?" I shout over my shoulder and I hear several customers giggle before the noise of the side walk engulfs me.

* * *

"Ouch Kurt! You just pinned my skin!" Santana yells loudly above me.

"Well stop moving Tan! I have an hour to get this like butter on your skin. If I don't the headlines will be trashy design, blah, blah, blah..." I mumble around the handful of pins in my teeth.

"I'm not moving." She glares as I get her on purpose this time.

"If you're trying to look in the closet, don't bother. Maya went home to get ready." I sing happily as I feel her huff out a breath.

"That isn't what I was doing!" She folds her arms across her chest and I jab her again to get her to drop them. "I'm about three seconds from kicking you…hard!"

"Don't get annoyed with me. It's not my fault the only girl to make you want more than a one night stand left to go to college in Ireland before turning up again last year, making it clear she still likes you and you're too scared to admit you like her too." I smile up at her as I thread my needle to hand sew the last few alterations.

"You make it sound like a romantic comedy. I'm not you. That shit makes me dry heave like I have a fur ball." She grimaces, sliding her hands down the edges of the dress. "This is amazing by the way. I'm so glad you asked me to do this."

"What, so years from now you can tell anyone that will listen that you were the reason for my success?" I hold her steady as I start on the hem sitting just above her knee.

"No! I'm just…I'm so fucking proud of you. We have been friends for nearly twenty three years and I'm just so happy we have done it all together. Me and you are a force to be reckoned with when it comes to life and I can't wait to keep being there as you do more amazing and brilliant things. I love you my little peachy!" Santana sniffs, rubbing at her nose and I stop what I'm doing to stand up and hug her close.

"I'm just as proud of you and couldn't ask for a better hag and soul mate than the one and only Miss Santana Lopez." I plant a sloppy kiss on to her cheek and she groans but still doesn't move.

"Not even Berry?" She sniffles, eyeing me sideways.

"Not even her majesty, princess Kate." I smile, squeezing her tighter again, the precious dress forgotten for a minute.

"Okay now get back to the dress before I slap you to restore the natural order of things." She wipes her eyes and stands perfectly still for the rest of the fitting.

* * *

I tried to remember everything that happened through the course of the evening, but I couldn't. I was busy mingling between groups of socialites, local business owners and even a few minor celebrities had come out in force to see the new 'brand' of New York. I felt like my head was going to explode with pride as people murmured during Santana's performance, they LOVED my pieces. Maya had given me a quick thumbs up to indicate we were fully booked for the next month and Mrs B was definitely the epitome of class in her role as hostess. I was exhausted, yet wide awake as the night began to draw to a close and guests left with swag bags and promises of seeing them soon, when a very familiar balding head, minus baseball cap (much to my insistence) came through the crowd.

"Kid, I am so proud of you!" My dad pulls me into a bear hug, everyone fawning over me forgotten as I hug back for all I'm worth. "This was amazing! Santana looks and sounded fab and Carole is already nagging me for a whole week of consultation with you after our holiday." He sets me gently back down and I feel his pride wash over my body from top to toe.

"She doesn't need to pay for one, I'll do it for free silly! Just get Maya to put it in the diary." I rattle off as I have several times that evening already. "Oh my God, did you hear that? I sound like such a professional." I jump on the spot a little and my dad laughs.

"You are a professional! I just – I'm so proud of the man you have become Kurt. When you left home at eighteen I didn't think I'd feel as proud as I did in that moment for a long time, but not letting NYADA get you down…finding Blaine again…THIS! I just-please promise me that babies and proposals are a long way off….I don't think I can cope with any more love for you in my poor excuse for a heart right now." He tries to subtly wipe away the tears pooling in his eyes, but I see it.

"That's a very poor taste joke. But I promise that is all a long way off dad. Huge!" I squeeze him tight again before I feel a hand pulling me away from him and get pulled backwards through my studio door. As it shuts quietly, I feel Blaine's entire weight push me back against it and a hand coming out in front to twist the lock shut.

"You…are…the…most…amazing…man…ever!" Each word is punctuated with a small nip to the back of my neck before his hands are on my waist and turning me around to make me face him. "I have wanted to do this the entire night." He moans, slipping his tongue into my mouth in a hard kiss, all but swallowing the guttural noises my body is making.

"I love you Blaine Devon Anderson." Is all I manage to get out as he presses his body firmly against mine and starts to rut against my hip. "But if you get cum on my outfit, I will kill you!" I grunt out as his hand snakes down between us and starts pulling my shirt out of my trousers.

"I promise I won't." He grins as the buckle on my belt comes out and he forces my pants down to my thigh. "You just need to be quiet." He slides down my body, only breaking contact for a second before clamping down around my erection, making me bite my knuckle to stop from yelling out.

His tongue sets to work swirling around the head before he thrusts me deeper inside and hums gently around me. The vibration, the heat and moistness are all taking me to the edge far quicker than I would like it to. I grab the back of his neck to hold him in place so as not to mess his hair for other party goers to notice and feel his lips form a smile around me.

"KURT?" I hear Cooper's voice echo through the door and then the handle wriggles behind my back.

"I'm busy Coop!" I groan, keeping eye contact with Blaine as a warning to not stop.

"Well regardless of what my brother is currently doing to you…" Blaine loses focus and chokes for a second before pulling off with a pop.

"Go away Coop!" He grunts in a thick voice, his eyes still watering as he holds in another cough.

"You both need to put whatever clothes you're not wearing back on and get out here…like now!" he starts to knock now and Blaine pulls my pants back up as he stands beside me. "Shits about to get real epic up in here." Cooper squeals before shouting. "Santana don't throw that!" This has me pulling open the door as quick as I can. The scene before me is not what I wanted for my grand opening.

* * *

"What the hell did you think you two were doing?!" I shriek. It's been half an hour since everyone except me, Mrs B, Santana and Maya were left on our own in the shop and my blood was still boiling. I had repeated this phrase multiple times in French, German and apparently I knew a few Spanish swear words too. Mrs B was giving out a similar rant in the studio if the odd swear word I heard was anything to go by.

"Kurt I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to let my rage get the better of me." Santana mumbled under her breath, trying not to look at me directly. Apparently, there was a very interesting hair attached to her leg at this point.

"Tonight of all nights Santana? Why could you not have lashed out at her tomorrow? This is the start of my business! You're lucky most of the customers had left…imagine if this leaked online? You would be fucked too!" I yell, feeling a vein pop out at the side of my neck.

"It was her that started it." She points in the direction of where Maya is receiving her rant. "She said I looked 'bloated' Kurt! I'm fucking skinnier than ever since you put me on the juice cleanse. I lost three pounds. AND she said I wasn't a good kisser. I'm a great kisser! I can roll my tongue." She waves her hands at me, trying to prove her point.

"Tan, as much as her words were not nice things to say to you, this was a big night for me. And if you had let her get to you sooner it could have ended a lot worse. You two need to figure out a way to be civil to each other because I love you, even if you border on psychotic, and she is my business partner. You are going to be in each other's company a lot more now. And as much as I hate to admit it, I really do get on with her. She's hurting too you know." I wrap my arm around her to let her fall against me in defeat.

"I know, okay? I promise I'll try harder. It's just…she's so freaking pretty! I hate the fact that other people swoon when they see her. But I don't want to go back to that place just now. I don't have time for it to fall apart again." I feel her right hand twirl the hair at the back of my neck. "I'm sorry for ruining your night, but I'm not apologising until she does. She was in the wrong."

"Santana you tried to throw the chair at her." I sigh, just wanting this to be over so that I could get back home to Blaine.

"It was cushioned! She pulled my hair extension out first!" She moaned, but didn't move.

"Just go apologise and let me go home to my boyfriend who has instructions to be waiting naked in our bed." I smile as she shudders in my arms.

"Fine!" She pulls herself up on to her feet. "But if I go out and get so drunk I'm sick on the floor to drown out your 'noise', you have to clean it up." She walks over to where Mrs B has just exited and I make a mental note to put water and a basin next to her bed when I get in.

"We good darling?" Mrs B offers me her hand so we can walk out together, hand in hand.

"As good as those two can be. It's so frustrating knowing they both want to screw each other's brains out. If they had started to do that again, this probably wouldn't have happened." I sigh as we stop to wave down a taxi.

"Well I think we should just leave them to their own devices. I'm going home for a soak in the tub and you are going to get fucked as hard as that little boy toy of yours can manage." She opens the door and huddles in, with me following behind her.

"Please don't talk about my sex life." I screw up my face in embarrassment and she laughs.

"Darling! You are only young once. Make the most of it before you get old and wrinkly."

"Are you suggesting I won't age gracefully?" I cock my head in her direction and she shakes her head.

"I wouldn't dream of it darling!" She kisses the hand that she is holding. "Here's to a prosperous start and growing old gracefully."


	3. It's a what?

A few weeks after the shop opening I had taken time off from my busy schedule to spend some time with my two favourite little men. Dale had called in a favour so he and Jake could have some alone time and Landin had very quickly informed us we were going to Red, which was his favourite 'grown up' treat. It was nice enough and served good food which kept him and Blaine happy. We were sitting at his favourite table (a booth at the window so he could "people watch") which had comfortable red leather seats and a huge oak table with wagon wheels as legs.

"Uncle Kurt?" Landin is smiling at me from the seat across the table as I read down the menu.

"Yeah Landin?" I ask, not looking up at him.

"How do you know if you like boys or girls?" Blaine coughs beside me and I kick his shin under the table.

"Why do you ask sweetie?" I put my menu down carefully and Blaine tries to pull his up closer to his face before I swipe it out of his hands, causing Blaine to stick his tongue out at me.

"Because Billy says his mommy and daddy told him that only girls should like boys…" He shuffles in his chair to look at us better. "But you and Uncle Blaine and daddy J and daddy D like boys, not girls." He states, as if we didn't already know that.

"That's right and we always say to you that some people think different things, but all your family will love you no matter who you like." I say softly, leaning over to reach his hand as Blaine does the same.

"But how do you know?" He looks between us and we frown at each other for a minute. "Because I like to play with boys and girls!"

"Well dude... When you get older you will want to ki- play! Play with someone really special! And you will love them a whole lot. Like your dads and me and Uncle Kurt." Blaine says, ducking his head on to my shoulder to plant a kiss, so I continue.

"But what you have to remember is only you know what is right. Nobody can tell you what to do...unless it's your dad telling you to tidy your room." I smile as Landin he glares at me across the table.

"But how will I know?" Landin whined once more. We don't quite know how to answer and Landin seems to be getting more agitated as the conversation continues. "How did you know?"

"Well I knew for a long time before I told anyone. I just realised that your uncle Blaine was my best friend in the whole world and I wanted to spend forever with him." I smiled, watching Blaine listen to me and still felt all those butterflies I did the first time I realised my feelings. "But your uncle Blaine wasn't as clever…."

"Hey! I got there in the end!" Blaine whined at me with his trade mark pout. "I loved your uncle Kurt for a long time too, but I was scared and did some silly things before I admitted it to myself. But luckily Uncle Kurt is very forgiving and still loved me just as much." Blaine squeezed my hand where we were still holding Landin's.

"Not when you eat all the cheesecake he doesn't!" Landin shook his head and picked up his menu again to choose what he wanted to eat. "I want pizza!" He shouted happily, putting his menu down.

"Okay…" I look at Blaine, wondering if we had given him the answer he needed, but Blaine just shrugged at me, picking up his menu too. When the waitress arrived she smiled merrily, handing Landin a colouring sheet and some crayons. "Can we have a child's mushroom pizza, one medium rare sirloin and a Mediterranean salad for me please?" I smile at her, passing over the menus as she watches me with a surprised expression.

"You're Kurt Hummel!" She says, but not as a question.

"Yes I am." I smile happily as she shakes my hand. "This is my boyfriend Blaine and this cutie is my nephew Landin." Landin and Blaine both chorus a polite 'hi' before continuing to colour in the pages together.

"I saw the pictures of the opening online. That dress you made for Santana Lopez was insane! All the girls were talking about it. We would kill for that dress." She babbled excitedly and a few other waitresses were crowding to watch our interaction from the bar.

"Well thank you…"

"Katie. Katie Jones!" She squealed slightly.

"Katie, if you want I can give you the shop number and you can come down for a consultation?" She shakes her head fiercely at my offer.

"Oh no! It's not that I wouldn't want to but, I only work part time. I'm in the musical theatre program at NYU and I couldn't afford it…" She mumbles quietly and I notice a slight pink stain her cheeks.

"Listen. Take this card, call the number and tell Maya that I'm expecting your call. I'm sure we can get you a fabulous dress for the winter formal on me!" I insist, passing her my business card and she squeals again, nodding her thanks before going to put in our order. I watch all the other waitresses hug her in excitement before I turn around to face Blaine's grin.

"What?"

"I am insanely in love with the future fashion extraordinaire Kurt 'Peachy' Hummel is all." He kisses me softly on the lips as a 'yuk' comes from Landin across the table.

"Well that is very handy….because I am insanely in love with you Blaine 'Bumble Bee' Anderson!"

* * *

"Dad! We went to my favourite place. And Uncle Kurt let me have mushroom pizza AND I drew this!" He jumps excitedly in front of Jake and Dale as they come into the apartment and sit on the couch. He hands over his drawing of stick people and starts pointing them out.

"That's me, and that's you and Dad and that's House with a baby he just found us." He squeals and Dale smiles at him, pulling him onto his knee.

"This is amazing honey. I'll put it in the kitchen at work." He smiles happily. "How was dinner?" He looks over to me and Blaine.

"Eventful..." Blaine starts.

"Sneaky ninja questions?" Jake ruffles Landin's hair and gives us a knowing smile.

"Yeah kind of, I'll tell you later. OH and I got a fan!" I clap my hands excitably. "She recognised me and said she saw all the opening photos and I offered for her to come get a formal gown for the NYU dance. She was just so excited about meeting me I couldn't let her be empty handed. It was my first fan!" I giggle and Blaine rubs my knee softly to calm me down.

"You do realise giving freebies to all fans will leave you with no business, right?" Santana slurs as she comes into the room. "Daddies, bug…hobbit!" Santana smiles lazily as she sits down between me and Blaine.

"It's one person Santana, and she is just like me when I got here, no money and a passion for fabulous clothes. I couldn't not offer!" I sigh happily at being recognised for my work, I still can't believe it happened to me!

"Okay I get it and I'm happy for you, just wait till they are snapping pictures of you hung over, then you will hate it." She laughs before turning to Dale and Jake. "So what was with the summons, oh mighty powerful dads?"

"Well, today we had a meeting to finalise things and...We are getting a baby in six weeks!" Dale sings happily, catching Jakes hand in his own and squeezing Landin to his chest.

"A baby!" Landin shouts as loud as his little lungs will let him. "And House will bring it."

"This is amazing!" I screech.

"Jake, you're not showing! How do you keep in shape?" Santana shouts.

"Guys…like how, who, when did this happen?" Blaine asks, shocked.

"Funny Tan! We have been meeting with the agency for a while. We didn't want to jinx anything but six weeks today our baby will be coming home with us." Jake laughs excitedly and I can see his eyes swim with joy and Dale leans over to kiss him, Landin squeezing his face in in between their lips to get a kiss on either cheek.

"Okay details? We need details!" I yell happily, grabbing Santana's hand who grabs Blaine on the other side.

"Okay she's two months old, has blonde hair, green eyes and the most adorable dimples ever. Her mom died in labour and she's been in a foster home since she was born, so we are going to have visits to get her used to us, and then, if all goes to plan, she will be here for good." Dale rambles, looking at each of us on a loop as he talks.

"Hold up!" Santana wails.

"She?" Blaine mumbles out quietly.

"As in we are getting a niece?" I say, eyes widening.

"Eww a baby sister!" Landin pouts from between them. He had been fantasizing about playing football with a little brother ever since his dads told him they were wanting another baby.

"Yeah Landin a little sister. Her name is Lydia Beau. Our baby girl Lydia." Jake squeaked excitedly. "I can't help but keep saying it! And guess what, she is going to need a big brother to help look after her." Jake nudges him gently in the side.

"Can I take her temperature?" He asks seriously. "And show her how to build a plane with Lego?" He looks over to Blaine who nods at his building partner. I can't count how many times I have come home to forts and houses and anything else Lego scattered around after Landin has been here.

"Well you can when she's older, she will be really small when we get her and won't be able to do things like that. And when she's sick you can help take her temperature. Just like our own mini House." Dale bops him on the nose.

"So what will she do when we get her?" Landin asks.

"Well, she will mostly sleep and drink special milk and then sleep some more." Jake explains and Landin thinks for a minute before frowning.

"That's boring!" He says loudly.

"But then she will start to crawl, and walk and talk, and as her big brother you will have to teach her things you know." Dale says excitedly and I can already picture the trauma of trying to catch her smile on camera for the first time.

"Okay, I can do that. Can I go watch House now?" He asks, already bored of the conversation.

"You can go watch House. But we are going soon." Jake says, shaking his head as he runs off to my room. "So what do you think?" He asks, looking at us all.

"I think Kurt's had a stroke." Santana waves her arm in front of my face where I am just looking into the centre of the floor.

"Dresses! So many tiny little dresses... And hair bows..." I mumble, starting to visualise every baby version of my designs I can.

"I can't wait to meet her!" Blaine squeals from beside Santana.

"And rompers! Lots of tiny little rompers…" I ramble, effectively being ignored.

"When can I watch her? And when do I start getting to tell her about all things girly that you two won't have a clue about?" Santana pipes up from beside me.

"And tiny little shoes…with tiny little buckle's…" I add more fabrics to my mental check list.

"Never. You are not corrupting our daughter." Dale He stops to smile at Jake before continuing. "And she won't be dating until she's at least forty."

"Oh come on, at least take it down to twenty five…you were trying to fuck Kurt at twenty five." Santana moans.

"Hey!" Jake and Blaine shout as I keep adding anything I can think to my list. Six weeks is too short a time frame for all my plans.

"I was not. And that is exactly why she won't get out until forty." Dale growls at her, giving her a glare.

"You two are no fun. Blaine, when you have a baby girl, can I teach her about girl things?" She looks to Blaine and he shakes his head.

"No way! And besides, that's ages away." He mumbles the end of the sentence and I sort of begin to panic at the route of topic when an idea hits me.

"Baby shower!" I jump up from the seat and stand stock still in the centre of the room with a triumphant yell. "I'll host a baby shower!" I grin at the four disgusted faces around me.


	4. Baby Shower

Four weeks! That's how long it takes to organise the perfect Baby shower. The invitations, ordering decorations, making a gift list, ordering your own choice of gift, planning a menu and finding white onesies at wholesale prices takes a long time! Thankfully after pulling an all-nighter I was able to get everything ready for the grand reveal to Blaine on the morning of the shower. Santana to no surprise had been 'too busy' to help with any of the actual work and instead supplied a credit card for me to use 'in emergencies'….okay I may have classed the new Kurt Geiger shoes as said emergency. BUT in my defence they were perfect baby shower attire. I heard the chimes above the door signal Blaine's entrance and stood back to watch his reaction with pride.

"Wow Kurt, this is all a bit…" Blaine trailed off, taking in the shops décor. I was quite proud of it; I had pink and white balloons filled with helium and glitter. Dale's catering company had made 'baby' everything…. tiny little burgers, tiny little cupcakes and amazing little raspberry cheesecake bites. I had a onesie decorating station, guess the bottled cocktails, photos of all the guests as babies to have as a guess who game. It was as perfect as any baby shower could be.

"You don't need to say anything. I know it's amazing!" I clap my own hands at the excitement.

"Err it's just a little bit…" I turned when I noted the hesitance in his voice, it was reserved for when he didn't want to tell me what he thought.

"A little bit what?" I huff, already feeling defensive.

"It's just a bit…over the top gay!" He stutters, watching my reaction carefully, biting his bottom lip and looking nervous.

"Funny considering I'm gay, so are you – quite happily too if I remember what we did last night. And I am hosting this for our gay friends who are having a baby girl." I state, crossing the shop to fix a couple of lop sided balloons.

"I know we are, and at the risk of never getting a repeat of last night ever again... It's a bit too much." He says slowly and I can feel his eyes on me as I go about adjusting the decorating station.

"So now I'm too much and I'm too gay? Really nice to know Blaine! Maybe I'll take that into account the next time I go out in public. Wouldn't want to offend anybody, would I?" I slam a few pots of glitter down in front of me, letting out a sigh.

"That's not what I meant and you know it! I just think – "

"Think what? That I'm acting like a woman? That the all-nighter I pulled off to get this done on my own wasn't worth it? Tell me Blaine, what exactly do you think, huh?" I spin round to face him and throw the best bitch glare I can muster when all I want to do is cry because my boyfriend doesn't like my party. He motions me towards the soft seating with various pink throw cushions, but I stubbornly stay still. Seeing he's not going to win he walks over to me and forcibly grabs my hand to lead me over and pushes me into the seat.

"Please just listen and don't go all nuts thinking I said something I didn't." He asks gently, trying to prise a smile out of me with his puppy dog eyes.

"Nuts? So I'm too gay, too much, and I'm psychotic?" I fume, crossing my arms across my chest. "What a hardship I must be to live with! Really feel free to leave…" I nod my head to the door and he looks down at his now empty hands with a sigh.

"Will you just listen!" He raises his voice a little to silence me. "I didn't say you were too much, or crazy OR too gay. As far as I'm concerned you could never be gay enough! Any time you feel the need to fuck me hard or make love to me, I'll be there. Forever. I just think this shower isn't really what we are all about." He says, looking me in the eyes and I start to sniffle in hopes of the tears not coming out. Who knew sleep deprivation and eight espressos would turn you in to a hot mess?

"But I read, like, thirty 'how to plan the perfect shower' blogs. This is the classiest I could have put it together." I sniff harder and blink quickly to stop my eyes from brimming with tears.

"Kurt, I want you to really listen. Okay?" I nod as my hand gets pulled back into Blaine's, resting in my lap. "Showers are aimed at pregnant women who have the baby in their…um…lady parts! And they can't have a drink or anything like that and are all hormonal and just want to eat all the time. Dale and Jake are both in their thirties with a six year old already. This should be a celebration about this amazing thing they are doing, and a last round of being drunk for the next year or so. I just think you could make it amazing for them, maybe have a little stage set up over there for everyone to sing, or Dale to strip…" He waves to the corner by the window. "Keep the onesie decorating table and drinks in a bottle, but put your stamp on it. Like who can make the funniest, slightly rude onesie. Because although you are prone to flying off the handle, and get very defensive, and cannot handle having no sleep, I love you!" He trailed a finger across my jaw, calming me a little.

"I'm sorry I'm such a nightmare. I just want this to be perfect for them! They are such amazing parents to Landin and now they are getting to have a chance to change this little girl's life. I just want them to know how loved she's going to be…" I curse as the tears start falling down my face. "I just want it to be perfect."

"Oh honey! They know how much you love them and how much you would do for this new little niece. And you're definitely not a nightmare. A little unhinged with four espressos in your system, but nothing I can't handle." He pulls me forward to lean our heads together.

"I had eight…" I mumble, biting my lip.

"You must be really awake right now then, huh?" He asks quietly. "We could get very gay together? You know, to stress how much I enjoy it." He grins, kissing my lips softly.

"Or you could help me fix this party?" I smile at his groan, but open my eyes wide to flutter my lashes at him.

"Fine! I hate your face right now!" He moans as I put a small kiss onto his nose. "I'm horny and you're making me do heavy lifting."

"You love my face, and watching you heavy lift will get me sooooo hot." I whisper seductively into his ear.

"Who's womb exploded in here?" Santana yells from the door as she barges in with masses of baby shopping bags. And we both share a look before getting up and starting to organise.

* * *

Okay so Blaine might have been right. Making this unique was definitely the way to go. The only down fall might have been letting it be an open bar. Five hours in and everyone was well on their way, even if it was only six pm.

"This is the best baby shower I have been to…EVER!" Cooper yells excitedly, swigging out of a beer bottle as he addresses the table.

"It's the only baby shower you've been to Coop!" Blaine shouts at him.

"If I knew they were this good I would go to more…. Or I'd get someone pregnant lots of times so I could have my own ones." He slurs happily and Santana punches him hard when he winks at her.

"Not with me you're not! I told you barbed wire." She makes her hands into an arrow and aims it at her crotch.

"Guys this is not proper decorum for a shower. Oh, my husband is naked..." Jakes stares across at the stage where Dale was balancing a baby teddy bear in front of himself.

"Oh, he's-"

"Kurt Hummel, you finish that sentence and you will be on the couch tonight!" Blaine yelped beside me and I frown at him.

"I was going to say he's violated that bear." I answer sweetly.

"Ha-ha Kurt was going to say he's huge! Jake you lucky boy!" Santana grinned at us. "And I mean that in the most lesbian way that it can be said."

"Not like its anything I've not seen." I argue back at her and then regret it.

"Oh I forgot you've seen his magic wand." She laughed and Jake did too. "Who's bigger?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

"Oh yeah! Who is bigger?" Cooper asks, looking back at Jake. "How do you walk after that?" He thumbs in Dale's direction as the bear is thrust around above his head.

"Guys, we are not talking about this!" I yell, feeling my cheeks go crimson.

"Hey I'm not complaining. He knows how to work it, that's all that matters." Jake shrugs, readjusting himself on the chair.

"That means Dale is bigger. Not surprising Blaine is very…hobbit like." Santana assesses.

"Santana! I am not discussing any of my boyfriend's body parts, previous or present." I glare at her.

"Hey, don't get prissy with me! You're the one not wanting to comment." She rolls her eyes and Cooper pats her on the back.

"Can we please not talk about this. Some of us aren't drunk enough to forget it." Blaine states from the corner.

"Aww Blaine, don't be embarrassed. It can't be that bad. Is it that bad?" Mrs B pipes up from where she has been sitting quietly listening to the turn of events.

"No it's not!" He groans, getting up and leaving the table.

"Oh Hummel's definitely not getting the slutty baby shower sex." Santana giggles.

"Wait, there's slutty baby shower sex?" Cooper bounces excitedly.

"Of course, it's just like at weddings. One couple always has really slutty sex. It's a given!" She smiles happily.

"No it's not." I sigh, rubbing my forehead slightly. "I've told you this over and over…people don't have slutty sex at baby showers. That is not a thing."

"Well if like you said baby showers are refined and elegant, why is daddy D gyrating against that old lady? Naked." She nods her head over to where Dale is shimming up and down a very scared looking woman in a twin set and pearls.

"That's my boss!" Jake squeaks, jumping into action and climbing over the back of his chair to reach his intoxicated husband. "Baby, no!"

"The Porters are out of the slutty sex race. That leaves it up to us three!" Cooper cheers pointedly looking at Santana and Mrs B. "Plus, there's no other straight guys here Mable! Bets on who can win?" He holds out his hand to Santana.

"You're on old man." Santana grabs his hand and squeezes it till he yelps.

"Can I put a fifty on Tan?" I smile happily as they both stalk off to find their prey.

* * *

"Babe, hurry up!" Blaine moans from under the covers, as I sit rubbing in my moisturiser at the vanity unit. "I want to sleep."

"Okay, I'm almost finished." I smile, plopping my last dollop of cream onto my cheeks and slowly working it into the pores. "You okay? You were kind of quiet tonight." I gaze into his reflection in the mirror.

"Yeah. It was a good party. I just wish my manhood didn't get brought into question." He shrugs further under the covers and I realise it bothered him more than he cared to admit. I watched him fidget in the bed while I finished up, before standing and flicking off the lights plunging the room into darkness and scurrying into bed beside him. I turned onto my side to watch him as I trailed a finger across his bare chest. "I'm not in the mood Kurt. And you haven't been to bed in forty eight hours." He whispered out, still lying on his back. I let the silence wash over me as my hand stilled.

"Blaine?" I say softly.

"Yeah?" He stays put and I notice his eyes are still closed.

"You're not really mad about what they were saying about Dale and you, are you?" I feel him take in a breath and slowly let it out.

"I'm not mad." He starts, staying locked in position. "It's just I forget sometimes that he was your first…you know? Boyfriend. And I just don't like being compared to him when he looks like that. Santana calls him Abercrombie and she doesn't like men! I just hate knowing he was always there for you when I wasn't back then and I'm just worried that when we are compared, I'll always fall short. He's pretty perfect." He still hasn't opened his eyes to look at me and I can feel him fiddling with his fingers under the comforter.

"Honey, open your eyes." He does as I ask, but doesn't look around. "Look at me. And listen real hard, okay?" He just nods mutely beside me. "You will never, ever, ever come in second place in my life to Dale, okay? Sure he was my first boyfriend and we were doing... stuff, but that was a long time ago. So were your struggles and I don't care about the things that happened back then. But you need to remember I broke up with him because I was in love with you. Like I am still in love with you. I love Dale and he's like family, but you? You're my everything, okay? And who cares if he's bigger? Because you are perfect for me. Okay?" I watch him for a couple of seconds before he looks up at me wide eyed.

"So he is bigger than me?" Seriously?! This is the conversation I'm having right now.

"Blaine I didn't say –"

"You said so what if he's bigger than me! Meaning he is!" Blaine looked firmly at me even if his voice resembled a toddler's.

"I can't remember! I haven't seen it properly since I was eighteen…Will you PLEASE let it go?" I moan resigning myself to just agree to get him to stop talking.

"What if one of my exes were in front of you and I said, hey Kurt he's bigger?"

"I wouldn't care! I'm confident enough in myself to know I'm adequate…. And that I know how to make your toes curl as you cum!" I sigh shuffling down firther into the covers to try and stop this nonsensical conversation from going any further. Blaine lets off a sigh beside me.

"You are more than adequate you know….and….I've never felt as connected to anybody in that way like I do to you…."Blaine mumbles as he shifts down beside me so our arms are touching.

"And that's how I feel about you too …you fucking idiot!"

"I'm sorry…" he says softly, pulling my hand over to knot our fingers together.

"Now, will you turn around and let me spoon you? Because I'm exhausted and I can't sleep without you." I place a soft kiss to his lips before he turns around and pulls my arms tight around his chest.

"You're perfect for me too Kurt. I love you." He sighs happily.

"Love you too." I smile into his warm back, pressing a few gentle kisses to it. Then we hear a crash come through the apartment, followed by two people giggling and shushing each other as they stumble to Santana's room. Once the door shuts we hear a very familiar voice whispering expletives.

"Is that Maya?" Blaine asks in confusion, or maybe shock.

"Oh. Yeah... Cooper owes me fifty bucks...Baby shower slutty sex." I mumble, my eyes struggling to stay open.

"That's a real thing?" He asks, sounding amused.

"Well, from what's about to go down through there. I'd say yes!" I yawn and then my eyes drift shut.


	5. Awkward Encounters

**Okay! So because I have gotten over the worst writers block after two long weeks! I though i would give you a second chapter this week to celebrate! 3**

* * *

It had taken just two weeks since the baby shower for my life to take a turn for the worse and leave me sitting with puffy eyes and a running nose on our couch. Meaning that no matter how much as I hated to do it, I was calling Burt Hummel aka Super Dad in the hopes of advice and endless years of wisdom. As much as I hated him knowing things were wrong, he was the only one who I trusted in these sorts of situations. Well except Dale who I couldn't get a hold of….and somehow I didn't think Mrs B's advice of threatening knife wounds would help the situation. So there I was listening to the dull dial tone of my dad's garage hoping he wouldn't pick up, while really needing him to.

"Hummel tyre and lube?" My dad's gruff voice comes through the phone and I feel the warmth of his love spread through me.

"Hey Dad! How are you?" I try to be as bright as I can.

"What do you want?" My dad asked, not pulling any punches.

"Charming! Can't I just phone to catch up?" I yell back, a little annoyed that my dad thinks I would only phone him because I want something. Even though, I kinda do.

"You can. But throughout the day when you're normally too busy to stop and even eat? What do you want?"

"I eat!" I huff, glaring down the phone at my dad, even though he can't see it.

"A salad leaf doesn't count kid." My dad laughed.

"I just like to be healthy." I countered, pouting a little.

"Fine whatever! Back to the subject, what do you want?" My dad sighed, clearly knowing he wasn't going to win that argument with me. I sighed loudly. Even though I had been the one to make the call in the first place, I was now a little reluctant to share. Because then it would make what happened all the more real.

"Okay, I'll tell you..."

* * *

Do I really want to phone Cooper? Well I need advice and I can't very well call Jake…..He'll tell Dale and then I might as well tell everyone else! But do I really want Coopers help? He has no morals sometimes…..what if I don't like what he says? What if I do like what he says? That settles it! I inwardly sigh as I pick up my phone and listen to the rings before I hear a groan come through from Coopers end.

"Coop?" I ask hesitantly.

"What is it Squirt?" Cooper asked me, using the nickname I absolutely despise. Yeah, I was shorter than the average male. Not everybody needs to go about it all the time though and give me annoying nicknames to do with my height.

"Don't call me that!" I hissed down the phone and hear him chuckle back, knowing that he annoyed me, which is exactly what he was intending to do.

"Well why are you phoning me so early?"

"It's noon where you are." I told him, rolling my eyes.

"And I didn't get in till six. It's still night time."

"Work or play?" I asked cheekily, teasing him back a little to get my own back.

"A bit of both…"

"You're ridiculous!" I chuckled at my brother's lifestyle choices.

"And yet you still phone me for advice. Wait, what have you done wrong?" Cooper asked, sounding a little weary.

"Why do you assume I've done something wrong?" I huffed indignantly.

"Just a feeling…" I could sense him shrugging on the other end of the line and I sighed in frustration.

"Urgh fine! You got me."

"I knew it. Just let me grab some water. My head is splitting and my back feels like a wild cat's gone rogue on it." My brother gabbled on, revealing a bit too much for my liking...

"Ewww, too much information!" I cried.

"Please, like Kurt's not a biter." Cooper teasingly responded, chuckling lightly.

I blushed as I reminisced about the time Kurt gave me a hickie. Your boyfriend gets drunk and ties you to a chair before assaulting your neck one time….and people can't let it go. This is why you shouldn't get drunk at family functions.

"He gave me a hickie once-"

"A huge one that stayed for a week!"

"Whatever! Will you listen or not?" I growled, starting to get exasperated by my brother's ramblings.

"I'm all ears little bro. Hit me!"

* * *

"Kurt?" My dad asked in a questioning tone. All I could do was reply in kind. "Yeah?"

"In order for you to tell me what's going on, you kind of have to speak. You know, words out of the mouth?"

Well, it was now or never, so I plunged into the story straight away with no hesitation. "Right. So I was in the studio today doing some fittings for this politician's son."

"What politician?" My father interrupted, irritating me no end.

"What? It's not relevant to the story." I huffed, hoping my father would just drop it from the slightly threatening tone in my voice.

"Okay! Okay! Continue please?"

"Right. So I was doing a fitting on a suit for some black tie event he was having to attend. I've had him in a couple of times over the last few weeks. His parents are on at him to start making an appearance at these things now he's twenty one and an 'adult' and he's an artist, so doesn't really like all this high class stuff, but feels he sort of has to do it since his parents support him so much. So I've been trying my hardest to make outfits that really express him, trying to understand him as a person, to get his personality to shine through in my designs."

"Hold on, support him? Being an artist?" My dad interrupted again and I sighed. This was obviously the type of story he wasn't going to just listen to until the end.

"Well yeah, and helping him through coming out and stuff. His dad has kept all the gay rights stuff his main priority in his campaigns." I explained getting antsy. I just wanted to blurt out the rest of the story now and be done with it.

"Sound like a good man. So what's this guy like?" I knew my dad was fishing for more information and who was I to ignore his wishes?

"He's really nice. A genuinely nice person, you know? And not full of himself, even though he's been brought up in this high class family, he's like totally down to earth. And his drawings are, like, out of this world. He uses all this chalk and pastels to create blurred city outlines with a person in the foreground. They are amazing! He made one for the shop as a sort of thank you." I proudly announced. I loved the picture he had done for me. When a pause descended down the phone, I frowned.

"Whoa. Sounds like someone's made an impression on you." My dad quietly responded.

"Dad, don't say it like that….." I whined.

"Like what?"

"Like I've got a crush on him… I'm with Blaine." Why did everyone think that I liked this guy just because I found him interesting and talented? Even my dad.

"Kurt I'm not saying anything. I'm just stating that you have spent most of this call rambling about this guy, instead of getting to the point."

"His name is Will by the way, and anyway this kind of is part of the story. So anyway, I was finished with the alteration's and he was getting changed out of the clothes so we could do the next look, and he um…well…" Kurt stuttered at the end, blushing furiously now and not knowing how to tell his father this part of the story.

"Did he force himself on you?" My dad asked, sounding worried and a little angry.

"What? No dad! He kind of asked me out and I just stood there shocked, not really knowing what to say, but before I could do anything I saw Blaine standing at the door and-"

My dad cut me off mid-sentence, his voice booming down the other end of the line. "Hold on this guy asked you out knowing you had a boyfriend?"

"Well no. He didn't know about Blaine." I supplied.

"Why not?"

"He's a client dad. I don't need to tell him things about my personal life. Besides, it never came up anyway." Kurt shrugged, wondering why his dad was being so aggressive in his questioning.

"Kurt, do you like this guy?" What?

"NO! No way! You know, you sound just like Blaine right now." I bit back, regretting it as soon as the words came out.

"Well maybe there's a reason for that…"

* * *

"Hold on, so this guy, he was just standing in his underwear asking out your boyfriend?" Cooper asked incredulously, sounding like he didn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah! And Kurt didn't say anything. He was just standing there, staring at him. Not that I blame him, the guy was just a young version of Dale, but better looking. I mean nobody is as good looking to me as Kurt, but... It was the most horrific moment of my life." Blaine sniffled a little, his hurt becoming evident.

"Worse than the time you barfed on stage?"

"Yeah..." I moaned.

"What about the time you got caught getting it on in a night club via twitter photo." Cooper quizzed me, not really getting the point of where the conversation had been going.

"So not helping right now!" I shouted down the phone, exasperated with my not so helpful brother right now.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll not talk again." My brother promised, but I wasn't sure whether he would stick to it.

"I didn't know what to do. I could see this look in his eye, like he maybe likes him. So I just freaked out and ran off."

"Dude, so not cool. Haven't you learned by now running doesn't solve anything?" Cooper told me, making me grumble in response.

"I know, but it didn't matter anyway. Kurt followed me home and asked what was wrong so I told him. He says I'm being paranoid and he doesn't have a crush on him. So I said 'well the guys a douche', and he said 'no he wasn't'…"

"Well it is low to ask out a taken man, but people do worse things bro." Cooper imparted his wisdom and I rolled my eyes. He totally wasn't helping right now.

"That's the point Coop. He didn't tell him he was living with his serious boyfriend. Said it never came up." I explained the crux of the matter in simple terms for my big brother to understand.

"And you don't believe him?"

"Coop, he's been working with him for weeks! Having coffee and talking to get an insight to him. How would it not come up when talking about their sexuality? He knew he was gay. Oh, and that's not even the best bit. I noticed a new piece of art up on the wall when I got there. It was from him. Apparently he's rich and a humble artist. As a thank you gift. Why not just pay him for his time like everyone else? He doesn't need gifts from anyone but me. I told him I didn't want him to keep it up in the shop and he said like hell he was taking it down and then I just kind of stormed out!" I could feel the trickle of a stray tear slide down my cheek before I wiped it away quickly.

"Dude, where the hell are you right now?" Cooper inquired of me, sounding like the concerned elder brother I wanted him to be.

"A coffee shop down the block. Am I being unreasonable? Does he like this guy?" I asked, sounding unsure of myself and vulnerable to say the least.

"I can't answer that bro, I'm not there. But if you ask me you need to talk, actually talk about this with your boyfriend. Maybe he does have a slight crush, or maybe they're just becoming friends of sorts, but you need to ask yourself, would he ever act on a feeling?" When my brother imparted good wisdom I knew I was in trouble. Had I been a completely jealous, boneheaded fool?

"No, he wouldn't."

"Well then, why should it matter?" I considered what my brother had asked of me. The truth is I knew it shouldn't get to me but I felt so insecure when it came to Kurt and losing him that I couldn't think rationally at all.

"Because! I love him more than anything in the world and I'm terrified he's going to wake up one day and realise I'm nothing but an alcoholic who just coasts by on bar gigs while he is out doing these incredible things. I'm worried he's going to realise I'm not good enough for him!"

"Pick up your free hand."

"Why?" I inquired, bemused at my brothers odd question.

"Just do it! Good. Now slap yourself in the face. Stop being an idiot and go talk to your boyfriend! Who loves you by the way and has done for a long time. And also, don't call yourself an alcoholic coaster. You're talented and one of the strongest people I know. Right now you're being ridiculous. If anything, this makes you not good enough for Kurt. Go fight for him, whether you need to or not. Be in his corner, don't hide out in a coffee shop." I listened to Cooper rant down the phone to me and a small smile spread across my face. He was totally and completely one hundred per cent right.

"I think I broke my hand." I jokingly replied, glad to have had the pep talk from my brother.

"I'll break more than that if you don't stop being stupid. Go right now or I'll fly there to personally give you an ass whooping!" Cooper yelled down the phone and I got up rapidly out of my seat to leave the coffee shop, sprinting out and onto the streets of New York.

"Okay. I love you Coop."

"You too squirt." I sling my phone into my pocket and start to head back to the apartment. As slowly as I can just in case Kurt is plotting some sort of sinister punishment or worse than that having a clear out mid rage.

* * *

"Hmmmm." My dad hummed down the phone, which I found to be very disconcerting.

"What dad?" I finally asked, not being able to take any more of my dad's humming at my predicament.

"Kurt be honest. Do you have feelings for this guy?" I couldn't believe my ears. Had my dad really just asked that of me? I loved Blaine with all my heart and not even my dad believed me? I could feel my jaw gaping open wide in disbelief.

Snapping my jaw shut, the fury from deep within escaped me. "No I don't! Did I like having someone to talk to that shares my interests? Yes. Did I like the attention he gave me, who wouldn't? It's flattering, but I don't have feelings for him."

"Would you ever act on what you do feel?"

"Of course not, I love Blaine. I can't believe you just asked me that."

"I'm just trying to see it from his point of view kid. If you were in his position and walked in on a half-naked man asking him out, what would you think?" My dad's question stumped me a little but I recovered quickly. After all relationships were about trust, right?

"I'd trust him. I know what he went through with Sebastian and what that did to him, enough to know he would never for a second think about cheating."

"But just think about how he will always have that nagging doubt in the back of his mind. Not because you lead him to think that, but because of his past. He's feeling insecure and not good enough, and if you ask me you should be trying to make him feel better, not talking it through with me." At that moment I heard the door shut and saw Blaine standing awkwardly in the doorway, hands thrust deep inside his pockets.

"Listen dad I have to go. I'll talk to you later? Love you to the moon." I say, lifting my hand to motion Blaine onto the cushion beside me.

"And back kiddo. Tell Blaine I love him too." My dad hangs up and I put the phone on to the table with a sigh as Blaine sinks heavily down beside me.

"Hi." I smile softly at him and he forces a weak smile in my direction.

"Does your dad hate me now?" He lowers his gaze sadly, but I shake my head at him. "Do you hate me now?" My heart breaks thinking he would believe this is all it would take to make me not love him.

"I could never hate you. I might be hurt that you don't trust me right now, but I still love you." I pat his knee gently as his eyes find mine.

"I do trust you! I don't ever think you'd cheat on me. I just…it's nothing!" He sighs, shaking his head back and forth, making his curls bounce.

"Well judging the events of today I would say it's not nothing." I watch him close his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut.

"I just…when I walked in today I freaked out. That guy was a fucking Adonis Kurt! And he was standing half naked while you were fitting him and he asked you out and you just stood there saying nothing…and I get it. He's gorgeous, he's talented, you've come in every day this week saying how funny he is, or how inspiring it is to work with someone like that, and you like him. I can see it in your eyes. You do. And I know you wouldn't ever cheat, I know that, I do…" He has picked up my hand and is squeezing rather tightly with his two around it. "But I just kind of panicked because I suppose I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and you to realise how so not worthy of you I am. I mean, you're perfect and I'm an alcoholic, and have all these insecurities. And I work in cat calls Kurt. I'm hardly the most talented, or most attractive, or most anything. I just keep dreading the day you decide to leave me for something better." He's trying to hold it together, but I can tell by the way he's biting his upper lip that he's going to lose it soon.

"Okay I want you to listen and listen good! There is nothing, and I mean nothing, for you to worry about, and I'm sorry you saw what you did today. I was in shock because it was such an out of the blue question, not because I was considering it. And okay, fair enough, he might be attractive and talented, but you know what? I don't care! Because although he is throwing himself a huge pity party right now, I have the most perfect boyfriend in the world. Who has the most adorable black curls, liquid honey eyes, a beautiful smile, a great body and most importantly, he gets me. Better than anyone I have ever, or will ever, meet. OH! And he is the most amazing singer, piano and guitar player I have ever met, AND, as if that wasn't enough, he managed to stop drinking when he realised it wasn't working for him and hasn't touched a drop in over four years. Pretty impressive person, wouldn't you say?" I raise my eyebrow at him and he chuckles softly.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you, and I promise I'm working on not running from my problems, but as long as you keep me talking and Cooper's there to slap sense into me, I think I can do it." He rubbed his hands up my thighs a couple of times and rested his forehead on mine. "I love you, you know."

"Well it's a good job I love you too then, huh? Do you feel better?" I place my hands around the nape of his neck to play with his curls.

"A bit. But there is something you can do to help me feel safe." He trailed off, snaking his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him, our foreheads still together.

"Really?" I smile, rubbing our noses together. "And what would that be?" I smirk as he tries to snake his tongue onto my lips and I move back just enough to be out of his reach.

"You could fuck me right here." I let out a small moan as he pulls my body flush against his own, his fingers digging in to my back.

Without another word I clutch his face in my hands and kiss him firmly, letting our tongues explore and fight one another for dominance. I feel a small whimper come out from him and surge even further into him, sliding down into his lap till I feel that bulge protruding underneath me. Blaine twitches as I rub the ass of my jeans across it a couple of times trying to follow with his hips, but I place a hand on either side of him to ensure he can't move.

"What do you want honey?" I ask breaking our lips apart. "Tell me what you want me to do?"

"Want you-want you inside me- right here!" He pants out through staggered breaths, trying to claim my lips again, but I sit up to go get supplies and he holds me tighter in his grasp.

"No don't move. There's lube in the coffee table. Just that and you. Please Kurt!" He rolls his hips up against me, catching my own erection with his and sending a wave of pleasure through my body. I bend backwards and pull open the drawer and grab the small bottle before leaning back up to kiss him again, rolling my hips down a couple of times, not being able to resist the friction. "Clothes off. Please."

I pull his sweater off in one tug and throw it over the back of the couch and quickly dispose of my own shirt and pants before tilting up and pulling his down in one swift movement. I watch the smile grow over Blaine's face as I manoeuvre him onto his back, lying the full length of the couch. He groans as I pull his legs apart and settle in between them, already spreading lube onto my fingers.

"I've got you babe, just relax and let me take care of you…" I purr seductively as he starts to tense up at the burn of my finger pushing right in. I still for a minute, kissing his lips softly and murmuring 'I love you' into his ear before moving in and out, stretching him open for a second finger, then a third. By the time I'm crooking my fingers just where I know he likes it, he is mewling unintelligible words and moans as he writhes around beneath me. When I finally bottom out, I'm still panting hard as Blaine kisses along my jaw line, holding tightly onto my back. I'm just about to start moving when the unmentionable happens…

"Honey I'm, oh sweet mother of fucking God!" Is screeched from the doorway. Blaine's eyes snap shut and I stay frozen to the spot, not knowing how to make this better.

"Get out!" I squeal from somewhere deep inside. I'm not sure how as my brain doesn't seem to be controlling my voice right now.

"Holy shit! You're fucking on the couch!" Santana screams just as loud and although I'm avoiding looking in her general direction, I hear the tell-tale sign of those Gucci shoes I picked for her. Blaine's eyes are still snapped tightly shut and I try to pull out and get us a comforter to cover up, but his legs clamp down tightly around me.

"Don't move! We are both naked. Get her out. Get her out or burn her eyes out with vodka…" He whispers harshly in a panic, still not opening his eyes.

"Santana please just go back out for five minutes and let us... move." I beg, still not looking to see where she is lurking, but it turns out I don't need to as I feel breath hitting my cheek from the back of the couch.

"Why? Are you uncomfortable with this predicament?" She giggles and it takes all my will power not to glare her down as Blaine remains rooted to his current spot, his muscles clenching around my cock and I have to swallow back a moan. "I would have thought your cock would have set up camp in there by how often you guys fuck-"

"This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! Fuck Kurt, don't move!" Blaine squeaks as I shift and hit his prostate. Santana's giggle is laced with devilment.

"Oh it's happening bumble, but not to worry I'm just going to take a few snaps for Coopers benefit and maybe the dearest daddies and then I will hop off to my room to picture how hot this is going to end." I break composure to draw a level gaze at her where her chin is resting on the back rest.

"You can't hit a girl. You can't hit a girl. You can't hit a girl." Blaine's mantras keep coming, refusing to direct any sentences at our best friend.

"Santana, don't you dare! Please? Just pretend you didn't see this and get the fuck out!" I growl at her, trying not to move and cause Blaine any more unwanted arousal.

"Fiiiineeeee…" She exhales, standing up and retreating towards her room, turning back for only a second, phone in hand. "Just one snap of that peachy ass before I – Now Kurt I will assume that shoe was not aiming for my head. Have fun boys!" She screeches before tearing out the way she came in. I slump my head down on to Blaine's shoulder with a groan.

"Do you think if we made it look like an accident we'd get less time for her death?" I ask trying to joke us out of it, but Blaine just slowly opens his eyes to glance at me.

"She wouldn't really send those pictures would sh-" But he is cut off by my phone alerting us to text messages, I reach over to blindly swipe it from the table and mentally plot out how to slip poison into her meals.

"Eh babe? I think we need to lock ourselves in our room for the rest of eternity." I thrust my phone in his face to show him the messages.

**_Floppy I feel we need to discuss proper texting etiquette with your room mate. Also please send scissor for our eyes. Can't erase what we have just seen... xx_**

**_Scarecrow! NIIIIIIIIIICE! Glad Squirt took my advice… xxx_**

**_DUDES NOT COOL! I AMOST DROPPED JAYDE! RACHEL YELLED!_**

"Fuck!" Blaine groaned from under me, throwing the phone to the floor. "Just pull out and take me to our room, never to return!"


	6. Magic

"Are we there yet?!" Landin moans out beside me, grabbing tightly to my wrist as he stumbles on the gravel under foot.

"Almost! Quit complaining crabby." I giggle as he sighs and trips slightly again, holding as tight as he can to me as I keep walking towards the entrance.

"But I can't see!" He huffs and grinds his feet to a halt, tugging my arm back at the movement. A mother and her child laugh as they pass us. Sighing slightly, I stoop down to his level even though he can't see through the make shift scarf blindfold.

"Landin…" I gently place my hands onto his shoulders and his head turns to the direction of my voice. "If you really don't want to do this then we can just go home now."

"Will you tell me what it is?" He huffs out, scuffing his Doc Martens in the gravel.

"No! It's a Christmas surprise." He groans loudly and more people start to traipse past us towards the hooded trees ahead. "But if you really don't want to do this I can take off the blind fold and we can get back in the car and drive the two hours home to your dads and Lydia…Or you can trust that uncle Kurt knows best and keep walking the last ten steps until we get inside." He stands still, nibbling on his bottom lip, deep in thought.

"Is it really just ten more steps?" The small boy asks curiously and I straighten up to start tugging him back in the right direction.

"Yes. Maybe twenty at the most." I say excitedly as I check my watch before quickening our pace. It's almost time. We arrive at the tree tunnel and I show the attendant out tickets before we emerge into an overgrown area of trees and shrubs with small toadstools and wooden dens scattered in amongst them. Music starts drifting softly out of speakers hidden amongst the leaves and I stop us in place, turning Landin to face his body in front of me.

"Why is there music?" He squeaks and I can tell he's excited at whatever the surprise might be.

"You'll see." I whisper, crouching down to start untying the scarf from his eyes. "Are you ready?"

"For what?" He asks, his breath coming out in puffs of air, clouding out into the cold night sky.

"Magic!" I whisper, whipping off the scarf as thousands of twinkling lights flare up in the trees around us. He doesn't answer. Instead he takes off down the path and I have to chase after him. When he stops at a fork in the road he looks at me with huge excited eyes, bouncing up and down on the spot.

"What is this place?" He squeaks as other children run around us followed by frantic parents.

"The enchanted forest!" I squeak, just as excited.

"Wow! Like where fairies live?" He stops to do a quick three sixty, making sure there are none floating around beside him.

"Why don't we go find out?" I stretch a hand out to him and he latches on, dragging me into the forest.

* * *

A couple of hours later we are exhausted after trailing the fairies out into several small houses and find two toadstool benches to sit on while I bring out Thermoses filled with hot chocolate. Landin smiles his thanks from underneath his winter hat as he takes one from me.

"Is there marshmallows?" He looks hopefully at me with a very toothy grin.

"Like there's any other way to have hot chocolate. What do you take me for?" He laughs as I nudge him with my elbow and he wobbles on his stool, trying to turn and face me. "So was this a good surprise?"

"The best! Thank you Uncle Kurt!" He smiles, sipping on his hot chocolate.

"Anything for my favourite nephew..." I whisper across to him.

"What about Louis and Jayde?" His eyebrows shoot up underneath his hat as he watches me feign surprise.

"Oh, you're right!" I pause to make it look like I'm thinking. "Well, you can be my favourite nephew living in New York."

"I'm your only nephew in New York." He sighs, shaking his head dramatically.

"Doesn't make you any less important. And besides Louis still has stinky diapers and Jayde spits up all over my favourite shirts." Landin nods his head knowingly, and then huffs out a big sigh. "You okay buddy?"

"Lydia has stinking diapers….She cries a lot too!"

"That's just because she's still little, she will stop crying so much when she gets older." He just sips on his Thermos again. "Are you okay with everything that's happened in the last two weeks?"

"Daddy J and Daddy D are always really tired just now, and they were late to pick me up at school one day. I had to wait with the principal." He sighs in thought. "And I can't just build Lego in the living room anymore." I reach over and give his knee a little squeeze.

"You know your daddies still love you lots though, right?" He doesn't move and I feel a pull at my heart string for him. "It's just that all of us are new to Lydia, so your daddies have to help her settle in. It must be really scary to be in a new place with lots of new people!"

"I know. They tell me all the time…"

"But you know what else?" I whisper conspiratorially to him and he shakes his head. "You have the most important job of all. Because you are her big brother and that means she will love you the most, and want you to teach her everything, and you will always be there to protect her. I'd say that is pretty important." I ruffle his hat covered head and get a giggle.

"I love her too; it's just she's so little. She can't play with my toys or anything!" He whines.

"But when she's older she will. And she will think her big brother Landin is the coolest and most favourite person in the whole wide world." I smile widely as he starts to grin to himself.

"You're my favouritist uncle in the whole world!" He sips his Thermos again and I nudge his leg gently with my foot.

"I better be, you goof ball! Just don't tell Uncle Blaine that or he'll cry."

"He always cries!" He is now full on laughing and a little snort echoes through the trees before he stops. "Uncle Kurt?"

"Yeah buddy?" I watch him as he nibbles on his bottom lip.

"Where do babies come from?" I hold in my splutter of hot chocolate as he watches me with inquisitive eyes.

"Where do you think they come from?" This is good Kurt; get him to lead the conversation.

"Well I came from a doption place, and so did Lydia." He puts a small finger on to his chin.

"But my daddies say there are lots of ways for babies to go to mummies or daddies who love them the most."

"Well-"

"But Jamie at school says his mummy had a baby in her tummy and it got really big and then one day it fell out! And when Uncle Blaine was in hospital there was a whole baby factory." He says, watching my every move. "So what ones right?"

"Well you see…" I trail off as a big flash of lights go off over our head. "Okay, do you want me to be honest?" He nods his head and I know I can't lie to this little genius. "Okay so your dads are right. Babies can come to parents in lots of different ways, but babies have to be born first. And that starts when the man puts a very special bean into the mummy's tummy…"

"Like in jack in the beanstalk?" He asks his eyes wide in wonder.

"Yeah kind of like that, except it grows a baby instead of a beanstalk. But it's magic and the bean keeps growing and growing until one day it's big enough to come out." I silently high five myself because this has gone very well so far.

"How do they come out?" Landin leans in closer to me as if it will help him absorb all this new information.

"Well the mummy gets lots of kicks from the baby and then she knows that she needs to go to the hospital and then the doctors help the baby come out of her tummy."

"Whoa! But how do babies get to the doption place?" He frowns, a look of confusion on his little face.

"Hmmm, people that can't have babies on their own like your daddies need to go to the adoption people because they want a baby more than anything, and when they laid eyes on you for the first time they knew that you were going to be their gorgeous baby boy. So that's why mummies sometimes give their babies to the adoption place, because they know that they have the best parents looking for a baby to look after." I watch Landin nod a little as it sank in.

"So I'm really special because my daddies chose me?" I nod in response to his question.

"And Lydia too?" I nod again. "I think I want to go home and see them. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is sweetie! And its waaaaay past the fairies bedtimes now anyways…" I'm cut off as Landin leaps onto me. "What was that for?"

"Telling me the truth! And bringing me here!" He smiles happily, kissing my cheek.

* * *

"Floppy just tell me what I can do?"

"For the last time Dale, you can fuck off!" I growl as I chop up various vegetables. "My kitchen, my rules!"

"But it makes sense to use the trained chef while he's here." I can feel him moving around behind me, lingering and judging what I'm doing with the vegetables.

"If you even think about checking on that turkey I will stab you in the eye." I turn to see him hovering close to the oven and point my sharp knife at him.

"I don't think that's a very Christmassy sentiment." He tries to edge closer to the handle and I wave the knife closer at him.

"You've obviously not heard the Wisemen's back story. There used to be four until one tried to butt in on making dinner one night. Nobody ever saw him again…" I raise my eyebrow at him as he steps closer to me.

"I just wanted to help."

"Well this is your time off. I'm not going to make you cook when you do that all the time for work. Step away from my bird and go entertain my dad." I sigh, turning away from him to continue my task in hand.

"Fine! Just don't come crying to me when your mash is lumpy." He sings as he leaves the kitchen.

"We're having roast potatoes actually." I say to myself before moving on to baste the turkey.

I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to have Christmas at our apartment this year. Well actually I do. Santana had been pretty busy finishing off in the recording studio, so she only broke off last night and is back to it in three days' time, and so didn't see the point in flying home this year. I didn't want to leave her alone so I decided to stay too, then Blaine said he would as well; Dale and Jake didn't want to fly at this horrifically busy time with baby Lydia and Landin so they decided to stay too. That was acceptable, Christmas dinner for six, no problem right? Wrong! My dad and Carole then phoned to say Finn and Rachel were spending it at her dads' so Dale told them to come here. Then Mrs B and Maya told Blaine they were alone for the holidays and he said 'what's two more?' Oh right, except it wasn't just two more because Cooper phoned to say he wasn't missing out on all the fun.

So my first attempt at hosting Christmas had turned from a small thing to eleven of our nearest and dearest all crammed in to our little apartment. Filled with alcohol and lots of games, what else could go wrong?

"Babe, do you need any help?" Blaine hugged me from behind and placed a soft kiss to my jawline.

"No honey, its fine. You can relax. I'm pretty organised."

"You sure?" He asks, placing another kiss just behind my ear, making me shiver in pleasure.

"Well you can keep doing that if you really have to." I try to keep the moan in, but fail as he repeats the action twice more. "….The turkey needs basting in five minutes though…."

"As sexy as all that sounds, I think you've got time to take a brea-"

"BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON!" Jake comes screeching in from the other room and Blaine squeezes onto me tighter. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHER!?" Blaine spins us around so I'm blocking him from Jake like a human shield.

"Nothing…" He whimpers from behind me and that's when I see it. Lydia is in Jake's arms dressed up like an elf down to tiny little pointy shoes and two little red dots on her cheeks right beside, oh God! Elf ears!

"NOTHING! THAT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT HER DOWN FOR A NAP LIKE THIS AND WHEN I WENT TO GET HER OUT OF YOUR ROOM THIS IS WHAT I FOUND!" Jake yells and then cuddles Lydia close as she starts to gurgle slightly in his arms.

"It must have been one of those Christmas miracles everyone talks about?" Blaine says sheepishly behind me.

"Why did you make that a question?" I turn my head to look at him and he shrugs.

"I know it was you. You're the only one that went to check on her. And now she looks like this." He mutters darkly with venom lacing his voice.

"Okay, so maybe it was me. But look how cute she is. Plus I took photos of her while she was sleeping too." He mumbles, trying to get his phone out of his pocket while holding me tight against his chest with his other hand.

"I don't care if she's cute. It's my job to embarrass her by dressing her up. I went in to put a reindeer outfit on her, complete with antlers! And then I saw you had beaten me to it..." He sighs and I snigger slightly under my breath.

"Uncle Blaine? Grandpa Burt wants to take me on my new bike to the park. Will you come?" Landin squeals from the hall and I feel Blaine sigh in relief.

"Yeah buddy! Love you Kurt." He places a kiss to my cheek before running past Jake and planting a kiss on Lydia's cheek avoiding the swing of Jake's leg kicking in his direction. "Cutest elf on the planet!" He sing songed once he was already out the door. Jake just grumbled under his breath bouncing Lydia in his arms.

"Your uncle Blaine is lucky he's cute. Yes he is! But not as cute as you! And when Uncle Blaine has a baby I'm going to dress it up in every embarrassing outfit I can find! Yes I am, because daddy always wins. Yes he does, and you need to learn that if you want to be on the winning team growing up. Yes you do my little princess." He sings songs to her as he paces around the room, apparently forgetting I'm there.

"And your daddy needs to remember that Uncle Blaine's baby will be Uncle Kurt's baby too." I smile using the same tone as I go over to hold one of her chubby little hands. "And Uncle Kurt can be an over the top diva when he needs to be. Yes he can and daddy will get no Christmas dinner! No he won't!" Her little lips quirk into a smile as I pull a couple of funny faces at her.

"Do you want to hold her and I can finish off the veg?" He asks me in his grown up voice. And I pounce on her automatically and go to sit on a chair as Carole comes into the kitchen. Jake is busying himself with the desserts and pulling out dishes to go and set the table with later.

"Awww, there's my beautiful grandbaby!" She smiles, sitting down beside me. "I want to just steal you and take you home forever. And play tea parties and dress up non-stop because your uncle Finn was a boring boy growing up. Yes he was!"

"HEY!" Me and Jake both protest at her comment.

"Oh please like you two were typical boys. Whereas my son only ever talked about drums and monster trucks. At least Landin likes a bit of everything so I can have as much fun as he does." She stuck her tongue out and ran a finger gently across Lydia's cheek.

"Okay fair point!" Jake mumbles and I know it is thanks to the five year old Jake 'drag queenesque' pictures his mom brought out over thanksgiving to show Carole.

"I can't stop looking at her, she is just too cute. I think she is the cutest baby girl to have ever lived." I sigh dreamily as she sucks on one of my fingers.

"I can't wait for you and Blaine to have little kiddies to play with Landin and Lydia. It will be so cute. They can have play dates and put on little shows. A modern day Von Trap family!" Jake says absent mindedly as he whisks at the cream.

"Well by that point Landin will be hitting his teenage years and Lydia will be in school." I say, making a popping noise at Lydia as Carol makes an ensemble of hilarious faces. It's funny how babies make you open to doing anything to make them smile, whereas if you did it without one, people would think you had jumped off the crazy bus. "Besides, before that we would need to get married. Scratch that, engaged!"

"Jake and Dale didn't and besides you both want to get married, so why don't you?" Carole asks, not taking her eyes off of the four month old between us.

"Well I don't know how Blaine feels about it now. He hasn't mentioned it since Jakes birthday and that in itself was a disaster." I sigh and Jake giggles into the bowl. "Jake, it's not funny!"

"I'm sorry, but it kind of is. Well at least the way Blaine describes it." He guffaws and Carole looks up in confusion. "Don't look at me like that Kurt. You and Dale tell each other everything. Me and Blaine find it only fair we get to as well."

"What happened at the party?" Carole asks confused, just as Mrs B walks in to get more wine. "Did Blaine propose?" She squeals excitedly and the other two adults burst out laughing at the blush on my cheeks.

"No!" I sigh loudly.

"YES!" Jake giggles again.

"And you said no? Why Kurt?" Carole looks worriedly at me.

"Let's just say his mouth was otherwise engaged." Mrs B wiggles her eyebrows at Carole. "Isn't that right Kurt?"

"Not funny MABEL!" I glare at her. This is one story I don't want getting back to my dad.

"Why was your mouth..." Carole frowns for a minute before her mouth drops open. "Oh!" She whispers quietly.

"Carole it's not what it sounds like." I mumble.

"Well to me it sounds like Blaine proposed while you were-"

"Shut up Jake!" I yelp and he laughs.

"Kurt it's okay. It's not like I don't think you get up to these things."

"But thinking and knowing for sure are two very different things." I groan, burying my forehead in beside where Lydia has fallen asleep again.

"Oh its fine, I'm more worried about the fact that Blaine asked you to marry him and you said no." She says gently.

"It's not that I said no." I say.

"It's just he said I'm not saying yes while I'm giving you head in our best friends bathroom." Jake smiles and I groan.

"Oh my God, I can totally picture you darling." Mrs B laughs hard.

"Oh Kurt! And he hasn't mentioned it since?" I shake my head in Carole's direction. "Maybe he just wants it to take you by surprise?"

"That's what he said!" Jake laughs hard again, finding this very amusing.

"I'll talk to him eventually okay. Just not while everyone is around to overhear us, okay? Please don't worry." I say, watching Carole get a knowing look in her eye.

"Oh, I'm not. I give it till next Christmas and I bet you'll be engaged." She grins happily, before taking a sleeping Lydia out of my arms.

* * *

"Don't go further than the bench kid!" Burt shouts as Landin flies across the grass in the park, before he turns to smile at me. "So Blaine…"

"I feel like I'm ABOUT to be interrogated in a war film or something." I chuckle lightly and Burt smiles wider. "Oh God. I am right?"

"You'd be amazed at what that kid will do for twenty bucks." Burt nods in Landin's direction. "He's well trained."

"I know. Me and Kurt paid him fifty to tell Santana there was a spider in the apartment. She didn't come home for two days." I smile to myself.

"While I applaud the elaborate planning to get alone time… I don't think I want to picture what you needed it for." Burt mumbles and I realise he's embarrassed at the thought of me and Kurt – Blaine not now! You can't get a hard on next to your boyfriend's dad.

"Yeah…so what did you want to talk about?" I mumble awkwardly, he always has the ability to make me feel like I'm fifteen again.

"You and Kurt…." He trails off as Landin wobbles on his bike before getting steady again.

"How are things?"

"Good. I'm trying to not be so insecure and believe that he's with me because he wants to be, not because he's waiting for Mr Right. I'm really happy. We've got a good routine and Santana only disrupts it every other week." Burt laughs at that, knowing only too well the influence of one Miss Santana Lopez can be challenging at times.

"But?" I frown at him.

"But what?"

"I just thought you'd maybe have something to ask me is all." He shrugs, turning to focus his gaze on Landin again.

"Like what?" I have no idea what he is getting at.

"Never mind. Dale was just telling me a story the other day and I thought I'd give you the chance to speak to me, you know…alone."

"What did he say?" I ask in confusion. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Let's just say he let slip about Jakes birthday party." Oh well there it is. I'm about to have the sex talk at the age of twenty seven with my boyfriend's dad.

"Burt I promise we were care-"

"That's so not the part I want to talk about." He throws his hands up to his ears. "I can see how you are with each other and I know you took everything I said when you were younger on board. You're using sex to be closer to someone you love and that's what I always tried to tell you all. It might have helped to have listened to me sooner, but I'm glad it worked out eventually."

"Okay, so what do you want to talk about then?" I ask carefully.

"Remember the day you came to the shop before you and Kurt saw each other again?" He glanced over to me before waving at Landin in the distance.

"Yeah the weekend of mums birthday."

"Remember what we talked about?" He coaxed me into remembering what happened back then.

"We talked about how I was going to get Kurt back in my life; I asked you if I was ever going to find someone that was forever." I say, starting to think I know where this conversation is going.

"I didn't say it then, but I knew Kurt was going to be that person. I've kind of always thought that on some level. But that weekend made me realise it could be sooner, rather than someday. That was you stepping up." He bumped his shoulder against mine. "Remember what else I told you?"

"That anyone would be lucky to have me as a son in – oh!" I definitely know where this is going now and my hands start to sweat a little.

"And the penny drops. I gotta tell you, for a clever guy, you ain't so quick on the uptake." He laughs, patting my back.

"You were talking about you being happy to have me, if me and Kurt got together." I say, a little shell shocked. And then it clicks as I watch as Burt just smiles in an infuriatingly silent way at me. "You want me to ask for your permission to marry him." I say a little louder than I intended to.

"Just thought I'd give you the chance to voice anything you may or may not have been thinking about."

"I have been thinking about it, but I don't know if I could handle Kurt saying no." I say, ducking my head a little in embarrassment.

"Because of Jakes party? Blaine!" He groans beside me as I nod at him. "Of course he would say yes! But you and I both know he can be a diva. Has been since he was little, and he has always dreamed of this romantic proposal. But between you and me? I think he would say yes to any proposal that included you and a ring no matter of the location, but like I said, I'm here if there's anything you want to ask." I lift my head to look him in the eye.

"Burt, can I have your permission to ask for Kurt's hand in marriage?" I gulp down my idiotic fears and wait for his answer.

"Like you even had to ask buddy. You're proposing to my kid." He pulls me in for a famous Burt Hummel bear hug and I feel like I might take off if he lets me go.

"Oh shit! I need to find a ring!" A whole new fear creeps through me as buying Kurt jewellery is never an easy task.


	7. Santana tells all

Hi guys! I just wanted to get this up and let you all know I am having some personal family issues so don't know when I'll post again. Ireally appreciate all our support and hope you will stick around for more whenever that will be? xo

* * *

I was in the middle of an amazing dream about fairies, or lions, or Blaine. Then Rachel showed up but every time she opened her mouth to shout it came out as an incessant beeping noise – not as annoying as her usual pitch but still pretty head splitting- and then it morphed into my ringtone? Okay, now I can't even remember what I was dreaming about, and to be honest I can't remember what had – a ringing cell phone! That's what's woke me up. I tried to reach for it, but can't because of Blaine's arm pinning me face first onto the mattress. The phone eventually stops and I try to go back to sleep, only for the phone to start again.

"Blaine, the phones ringing!" I say loudly in his ear, facing towards him and tucking in tightly beside his naked body.

"Mmm no. Sleep time." He mumbles incoherently from his pillow.

"Well move your arm so I can reach it..." I trail off as his arm lets me go for enough time to snatch the phone from the night stand before pulling me down again.

"Stay there. Warm." Is all he states and he sighs happily as I get enveloped by his strong arms once more at the same time as I read Dales name on the screen.

"Good morning Hummel residence, how can I be of service on this very early…very cold January morning?" I say in my best 'receptionist' voice, despite being furious that it's still dark outside my window.

"Did you read it yet?" Is all he says, although I do detect several bangs, Landin shouting and Lydia wailing in the background.

"Read what?" I ask, rubbing my eyes as Blaine trails a finger up and down my side. "What the hell is going on over there?" I ask as I hear Jake scream in agitation.

"Landin is refusing to go to school, Lydia threw up all over Jake's work uniform and I am apparently a good for nothing gossip whore…." He stops talking as Jake starts shouting about language right next to the receiver. "Oh, and YOUR best friend called Jake mature, which basically means old... No, I didn't call you old! I'm telling Kurt what you told me... Babe, I find you too hot to even look at right now. I love you too." He rambles at Jake while I shake my head at Blaine's soft snores being interrupted by his phone ringing. "Sorry Kurt, I have to go tackle the spawn of Satan, but read Santana's interview. She sounds like a human being with a heart!" And before I can ask anything else he has hung up and Blaine is thrusting a phone in my face.

"Nobody ever calls for me this early." He says with a shrug and then I see Rachel's picture and know full well what he was doing, but glare at him nonetheless.

"Hello Rachel!" I say cheerily, digging Blaine in the ribs and making him moan lazily at the pain in his side.

"Are you having sex?" She asks casually, babbling to the twins as she goes.

"Yes Rachel! I'm so lost in the throes of passion and having sex with my boyfriend that I picked up my phone to talk to you." I drone sarcastically, and Blaine mumbles sleepily beside me.

"Well you sounded awfully happy to just be waking up is all." She sing songed.

"That's because Dale has already phoned this morning to wake me up. Some of you seem to forget that we don't have children to wake us up at six in the morning and that we all have jobs working late into the night."

"I've been up since four actually. Do you know how hard it is breast feeding twins? My boobs are aching-"

I cut her off before she could say anything more graphic. "Rachel, I don't want to know about aching breasts." Blaine, hearing this, dramatically pulls a pillow over his head. "Why did you actually call?"

"Oh right! Have you read it yet?" She asks excitedly.

"The interview? No I haven't due to the fact I was sleeping ten minutes ago. You know, like we already discussed?" I rolled my eyes at her blatant lack of understanding when it came to anyone other than herself. And possibly her twins...

"Okay! No need to get your panties in a bunch." She bit back a little harshly.

"I'm not wearing any actually." I snort and hear a huge crash down the phone.

"You just made me drop the puréed sweet potatoes and pumpkin I was making for the twins. I hope you're happy."

"Sounds like they owe me big time then." I laugh as I hear her start to manoeuvre around the kitchen in search of a cloth. "Listen Rach, I've got to go. Dads trying to get through." I quickly swap over to the incoming call and nudge Blaine as I see Cooper's name appear on my own cell. "It's your brother, deal with it."

"Fine, but if I don't get breakfast in bed, I won't be happy." Blaine grumbles as he stalks into the hall to take the call. I shake my head at his toddler style tantrum before answering my dad.

"Hey dad. No I haven't read it yet, no I've not just woken up, and no, I have not been having sex."

"You're lucky it's me and not your father Kurt. He'd have a nervous breakdown about the sex thing." Carole giggles down the phone. "But have you really not read it yet?"

"No! Santana brought the magazine home last night but I was too exhausted to read it. I'll do it next." I told Carole truthfully.

"Well, I'd maybe read it separately from Blaine if you haven't had that chat we were talking about over Christmas." Carole says gently.

"What has she said?" I panic, not wanting my relationship flaunted in the media.

"Just some nice things I promise! But it's good. I'm going to frame it."

"Okay, you're the third person to call about it since I woke up and I'm presuming that's what Cooper is doing with Blaine, so I'll go read it right now." I say, standing up and heading to the living room to settle down and read. "Oh, and can you do me a favour? Call Dale once you get off the phone with me and talk to Landin?"

"School strops again?" She wisely asks.

"Yeah. I don't know the ins and outs but it sounded pretty hectic over there. Grandma Carole might do the trick."

"I'll bribe him with monster truck tickets for his birthday treat. Love you honey!" She trilled down the phone.

"You too mom!" I smile, clicking off the phone and picking up the magazine. "Okay, so she wore the dress I told her to at least." I smile to myself taking in the cover.

* * *

Today marks the day of all of us down here at Treble Times meeting the very successful Miss Santana Lopez, who shot to fame a few years ago when she released her début album, 'Cry No More'. Now on the cusp of releasing her new album, 'Think Outside the Trapezoid', (set to be released in early spring), the star takes a few minutes to talk to us about music, friends and being a foodie at heart too. Hello Santana thanks for joining us!

**Santana: Thanks for having me, this bagel is to die for!**

TT: They are, you're right. So how have things been for you this past year?

**S: Crazy! But good crazy. I've just been working hard trying to get all the songs written and recorded and now it's done I get to go out on all these interviews and get to eat tonnes of food.**

TT: It has been well documented in the past that you enjoy eating, and make it a forefront discussion to be comfortable in yourself and have spoken out to all your fans about this too. What made you decide to be so upfront about it?

**S: Well I've always had a very strong support system around me and they always emphasised the mantra, 'be who you are, not who they want you to be', and it's stuck with me all through my life. That's why I've always been open with my fans about my sexuality and how I'm just a normal girl. I have days where I feel fat and bloated, but I like my food too much to have it any other way. You just have to take everything in proportion and be prepared to put the work in if you want to indulge, but feel happy in yourself, don't go trying to be supermodel skinny, be your own size. Focus more on being healthy for yourself.**

TT: And it's a message to be applauded! You mentioned your sexuality, what was it like for you growing up and dealing with that?

**S: I had it pretty easy. I knew from an early age I was gay and I had a very supportive group of family and friends. Growing up in Ohio wasn't the easiest at times, but it taught me not to sweat the little stuff or the haters. For every person throwing a rock, there are ten more throwing feathers. I never felt the need to hide who I was and I made it a main goal to be involved in charities to do with teenagers as it is such a vulnerable age, and in this day and age people still get punished for being different when they should really be applauded, be it dress sense, sexuality, looks or their hobbies.**

TT: And it's definitely provided a lot of your fans with a positive outlook on difficult situations. What would you say the best thing in that situation is?

**S: Remembering you're not alone. There are probably hundreds of thousands of other people out there just like you. Surround yourself with the best support system you have, whether its family, friends, support groups, people online…**

TT: As you've already mentioned you have a strong support system of friends and family, who would you describe as the most important to you?

**S: I have an amazing group of friends! I wouldn't be who I was right now if it wasn't for all of them. Dale and Jake are the mature ones; they've taught me a lot about trusting another person in a relationship and have given me the most precious niece and nephew on the planet! Blaine and Kurt are the missing parts of the tripod. We were inseparable at school and I'm glad to say that twenty three years down the line we are still a main part of each other's live. Cooper is just the annoying, shares too much big brother that you love anyway! Funny that for loving women I'm surrounded by a swarm of attractive men.**

TT: So it seems, and Kurt is your designer extraordinaire best friend who's been getting a lot of his own press recently and Blaine is his boyfriend, right?

**S: Yeah! Kurt is a serious talent. If you haven't been, get down to Mable's Mysterious Madhouse for a consultation. (This is the boutique Kurt owns with his two business partners in New York). Let me just say they are beyond sickly sweet, they are so in love and I see a huge fabulous wedding in the near future and hopefully a lot more nieces and nephews for me to spoil. We still all live together and it works. Except when we are fighting over what to watch! Blaine's sensible, Kurt's a perfectionist and I'm the loud one.**

TT: And do you have anyone special in your life?

**S: I'm sure if I did you would all know before me! I'm happy for now….and crazy busy too!**

TT: We would all love to see that! So let's talk about your inspirations, what made you strive to become a star when you were younger?

**S: I wouldn't say I strived, I was just lucky to get the breaks I did. I would still be singing even if it was a tiny club with rubbish pay because I would still be doing what I loved. Just in less expensive shoes. But growing up I always knew I wanted to be on stage. We used to put on these shows in the living room and charge all our bears sweets to get in. My poor dad had to play bouncer as we slaughtered every classic known to man.**

TT: Sounds fun. So what kind of music did you all listen to?

**S: Anything and everything! We had a very eclectic music choice, from Disney songs, to pop, to Broadway classics and I had a huge obsession with Tina Turner. Huge! And who wouldn't, she's a legend. I also listened to a lot of Rolling Stones on my own and had huge dancing sessions with my earphones in.**

TT: On your last record there was a lot of songs that focused on growing up, what can we expect on the new record?

**S: I have a few slower, more emotional songs this time, and the writing team is incredible. They sit in a room with me and just write down all my ideas and help put it in an order that works.**

TT: And what is the meaning behind the title, 'Think outside the Trapezoid'?

**S: It's basically a message to not let people put you into a box. If you have a niche, that's great, but don't just stay there because of other people. Like, say you were a great cook and people kept giving you that title and then one day you wanted to be a doctor. What's to stop you taking skills you have and pushing out the boundaries a bit and make the box fit you? Nothing is unattainable if you have the determination to get the end result.**

TT: What a great message. Now, we heard that you enjoy playing games?

**S: Love them! Me and the boys are forever playing random games.**

TT: But you have a favourite one to watch right now?

**S: Oh yeah, I love the questionnaire on 'Inside the Actors Studio'. It tell you so much about a person!**

TT: Well let us start by asking you; what is your favourite word?

**S: Onomatopoeia. Just sounds funny.**

TT: What is your least favourite word?

**S: Crustacean's…. Need I say any more?**

TT: What turns you on?

**S: A great pair of shoes…. Or food!**

TT: What turns you off?

**S: Prejudice.**

TT: What sound do you love?

**S: My nephews laugh, it's just the cutest. OH! Or Kurt's dad trying to sing rap….**

TT: What sound do you hate?

**S: Kurt screaming at me to get up in the morning.**

TT: What's your favourite curse word?

**S: F**K! It has so many uses!**

TT: What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

**S: Anything to do with food…Like I could be the president's food tester? To make sure it's safe and eat half claiming it's for the good of the country!**

TT: What profession would you not like to do?

**S: Cleaning toilets.**

TT: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

**S: Happy hour's in five minutes!**

TT: Any last words?

**S: I just want to say a huge thank you to all my fans….you guys are the greatest fans in the world and I wouldn't be where I was today if it wasn't for you!**

TT: thank you for taking the time to talk to us and good luck with the new album!

**S: Thanks….is there any more of these chips?**

And with a couple more bagels, the end to a very delightful afternoon with a very considerate and talented star was over. And I think we can all say 'keep an eye out on this one', she is making her mark on the world and it appears to only just be beginning!

* * *

"Did you read it?" I ask Blaine as I walk in to the kitchen where he is having his routinely morning fight with the coffee machine.

"Yeah! They said she was considerate…I wouldn't say that when she's using all the hot water during shower sex….." he grumbles as I push him into a chair and take over before the machine gets broken….again!

"I know, but she came off really well don't you think?" I ask as the machine splurges in to life.

"Definitely! And all the positivity stuff is really good….I just can't believe I wanted an openly gay role model as a child…. And Santana is doing it for kids all over the world….who would have thought she could be so…."he ponders his choice of word for a few minutes.

"Un-Santana like?" I ask with a smile as I place our cups on the table in front of us.

"Yeah! What did Dale say?" He asks as he scoops the foam on to his fingers and sucks it off with a loud pop.

"He thought it was good….Jake had a meltdown about being called 'mature' though…" Does he really not have anything to say about our part of it?!

"He's just having a hard time with admitting he's thirty….it didn't help when we were out for lunch the other day a guy checked me out and not him…"He adds with a grin.

"Well who could help but look at you?" I ask sarcastically as I remember him showing off his 'catwalk strut' to me the night it happened. "What did you think about our little mentions?"

"Well I think it's great PR for your shop….imagine all the young fan girls swooning at the chance to own a Kurt Hummel original?" he adds thoughtfully and I'm getting annoyed. Is he just going to pretend he didn't read the 'wedding' statement?

"Anything else?" I probe hoping he will know what I'm getting at…he hasn't ever brought up a proposal since Jake's birthday. Not even in a bitchy way like 'our tuxes will look so much better' when we hate watch four weddings together.

"Are you mad she called you a perfectionist?" He asks apparently oblivious to my inner turmoil. "Because hello kettle? This is pot….you're black!" he giggles and a slam my cup a little harder than I mean to on the table.

"I just like things a certain way….that's not a perfectionist…."

"Sure it's not sweetie!" He winks at me and I devise a new tactic.

"What about the wedding thing?" I ask bashfully….why am I even embarrassed? He proposed and you said no Kurt, it's not like he has never thought about it!

"Hmmm? Oh that's just Santana being Santana! There will be a flurry of gossip in online blogs for a few days then everyone will forget…don't worry babe!" He smiles at me. Like that is the response I want? My boyfriend is so dense at times. The correct response would be I really can't wait to be married to you the love of my life, soul mate… forever "you okay?" He asks and I realise I've not spoken in a few minutes.

"Yeah I just remembered I have to go to work early…." I say as I make my way to the door to go get ready. But I'm having an internal monologue with myself about the rant call Dale will get on my way into the city. Not noticing the way Blaine watches me leave before pulling out his cell phone.

"Hey Burt? Its Blaine! I need your help…."


	8. Scavenger Hunt 20

Hi guys! I've had a very tough couple of weeks which is why this has been so late but I hope that this will make it up to you all...let me know what you think?

* * *

When I walked into the apartment I noticed that there were no signs of life and silently cursed Blaine for being late. We had both been really busy lately and after weeks of passing like ships in the night between appointments and gig times and pre fashion week invitations Blaine had voiced his objections and demanded I take the afternoon off for a date. And he wasn't even here! I was walking through the living room getting ready to phone and ask exactly where he was as he had not even been going to work today, when a piece of paper on the coffee table caught my eye. On closer inspection I noticed it was in Blaine's hand writing and sat down to take a look.

**_Hey gorgeous!_**

**_I know I'm not there right now and I know you are probably contemplating calling me to rant….or maybe you already have (My psychic powers aren't helping right now). I know we had planned to have a day of just us but I came up with a great idea…..I have them sometimes you know? Don't try and fight it! I know you are going to love it and the end is a big surprise! As we both know my scavenger hunt in senior year was a huge success minus Santana slashing Finn's tyres (But really what's a little property damage between friends?) So I decided to make a scavenger hunt just for you, my gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, talented, amazing, beautiful boyfriend! So I want you to take a walk out the door and get your cute butt into a cab and get over to the place we reintroduced ourselves for the first time after all those years….._**

**_With all my love your bumble xxxxx_**

**_P.S Santana this note is not for you put it back and don't show anybody._**

"He's lucky it's not raining!" I sigh to myself as I slip back into my own original design coat and headed out the door.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find the letter in the next place; it was with the owner behind the bar where my eyes locked with Blaine's after five years apart. The owner had looked at me angrily….probably because of the mirror graffiti in the dressing room that me and Santana had left behind us after her last gig here. Come on…don't tell me buckteeth and huge glasses aren't funny! At least I didn't draw the body parts Santana did. I did manage to grab the letter out of his hands and run back out into the stair well before he could say anything about it though. Sitting on the stairs I realised it was another sealed letter in Blaine's handwriting.

**_Peachy!_**

**_You made it! Congratulations…..I hope the coffee you stopped for tastes delicious! (Don't look so surprised I know you!) This is the place where my life started to change for the better, when I saw you again. Don't roll your eyes! It's true you are without a doubt one of the best parts of me….Russell is another ;). I don't think I will ever forget the look of sheer panic when you caught my eye and I know I will NEVER forget you falling off your bar stool. I can still conjure the image of you on your back, face flushed, hair messed up and smelling of the spilled Shirley temple and coconut rum or the way you blushed and laughed out loud when I told you that you looked good. All I can do is apologise for my lack of word understanding, because that night you looked so much more than good! You looked like everything, I was so nervous you would up and run after everything I had put you and Santana through. BUT YOU DIDN'T! You were just as excited to be back together as I was. But enough reminiscing I have a point to get to so here it goes…._**

**_Come to the café where we met the next day_**

**_I know you'll want cheese cake so here's money to pay._**

**_The letter is hiding with a girl named Mel_**

**_I promise this day is not to give you hell._**

**_Always yours bumble xxxxxxxxx_**

True to form when I looked back in the envelope there was a ten dollar bill. Not that I would spend it all on cheese cake…okay I probably will! I tuck the money and letter into my messenger bag and head back out into the busy streets.

* * *

After Mel had swooned over me for ten minutes and given me my cheesecake free of charge with a coffee and letter on the side I went over to a corner couch and snuggled into read it.

**_Kurt how's the cheesecake?_**

**_Delicious as always? I know it's not your favourite type but it's definitely a close second! I'm guessing by now you have realised we are taking a stroll down the memories that are our life together, something I thank whatever greater power there is out there for! (Totally some super hero or something!) I wanted to tell you something about the day we met here, when you dragged our gorgeous little nephew in through those doors to sit beside me. I hated it!_**

**_Not meeting Landin (I think we are all aware of how much I love my side kick) but the fact that I thought he was yours? It devastated me! Even if I hadn't worked out all of my feelings for you a hundred per cent I felt an ache in my chest until he very bluntly corrected my mistake. I must now apologise for the huge lie I just told…I did know what I felt about you that day but I knew you would never want to go through that again without learning everything about me again. So I decided to bide my time, but you and your meddling oblivious ways had to try and set me up with someone. This made me think I had no chance what so ever! Thankfully due to that article and a strong pep talk from Cooper sent me in the right direction….towards you. And that kiss in your kitchen? Sent my entire body into shock! I had no idea it could ever be like that, I could have happily died then (but I'm glad I get to keep kissing you regularly instead). Now for your next mission….go to the place of our first date…the real one not the stoop outside your apartment! And don't worry, the maître de remembers you :)_**

**_Hugs and kisses bumble xxxxxxxxx_**

**_P.S Landin drew you a map so you can't pretend to forget where it is._**

Okay so that was hilarious, on the back a crayon drawing with a line of where I should go. A line that would take me to the place I swore I'd never go to again.

* * *

After mumbling out my name several times to the maitre'd before he actually heard it and smiled making a big show of moving any candles out of my reach. I practically tore his arm off grabbing my letter and ran down the block. Once I knew I was out of his line of vision and safe from any further embarrassment I sat onto a bench to look at the envelope. Blaine would pay for making me come back here, I don't know when OR how… but he will!

**_You still walking free?_**

**_Just kidding! I hope you don't hate me too much? I promise this plan has a point….so please don't plot to take away my hair gel….oh god or sex! I REALLY LIKE THE SEX!_**

**_It's okay my panic has died down for now…. I had to bring you here to remind you of how far we have come….I remember how nervous I was that night, everything had to be perfect and in the end it was a disaster! I don't think I'll ever forget the look on your face when you realised your trousers were see through…..or the look of disgust when I imitated the doctor….I'm a huge nerd go on say it! I know you want to. But that is all part of my charm…..and as much as you deny it you love the role playing it brings. This is short and sweet mainly because I don't want you to be arrested for public property damage so go to your shop….Mrs B has your penultimate letter._**

**_See you soon bumble xxxxxxxxx_**

* * *

As I walk in the door to the shop I see Mrs B sitting on a bar stool smiley broadly at me making me stop right in front of her.

"You knew he had this planned all along didn't you?" I ask with a grin.

"Of course I did darling! I've known for a couple of weeks…" she grins back swinging the letter against her crossed legs.

"Do you know why he's doing this?"

"No! He just had this delicious idea of showing you how much he loves you." She says simply passing the envelope over.

"Why is the writing smudged?" I ask turning it over in my hand and noticing its more crumpled than the rest.

"Maya may have tried to open it with the clothes steamer…" she stands up in one swift movement. "Now I have strict instructions to go into the back and not come out again until you leave. I love you darling!"

"You too. Even if I feel like part of an elaborate scheme right now." I sigh kissing her softly on the cheek.

**_To my deliciously talented designer boyfriend,_**

**_What can I possibly have to say about this spot? Pride! That is the only word I can use to describe my feeling about this incredible career you have made for yourself. The night of the opening I could have just burst with it! But that would have ruined a perfect Kurt Hummel event! I remember you owning the room as you spoke to all the socialites the opening brought and realising how much you belonged in that circle. You were born to do this and I think the way I man handled you into your studio proved how much it made me want you! That being interrupted is one of the two reasons I will always hold a grudge with the duo known as Santana and Maya….Santaya? Mantana? (the other is summed up in four words…slutty baby shower sex). Eww I just pictured it….._**

**_Okay I took a breather and you're probably laughing at my typical aversion to….lady parts! But you should thank your lucky stars because even though I'm not always the perfect boyfriend, I appreciate your definitely in no way lady parts to no end…which I think you along with all of our friends know (will never live it down either). Now I know this is technically copyright BUT I feel no other words sum it up as well… "Love never fades. Love never alters. Hearts may get broken, love endures." Love never dies is spot on the money! Because you proved this to be true after falling in love with me as a teenager and staying in love with me until now even though I had a few years of ridiculousness in the middle! I can't tell you how grateful I am for that, for your unwavering love and support and I could never be without it! So here it is….your last instruction. Go to the place you told me you loved me for the first time in New York._**

**_Always yours forever bumble bee xxxxxxxxx_**

* * *

When I walk back into the apartment living room I'm completely confused, I expected to see Blaine waiting for me with a nice dinner or something. But it is still in darkness, exactly as I left it. Slumping down on to the couch I notice another envelope sitting on the coffee table that was definitely not there before. This confused me even more, he had come back to leave this but he hadn't stayed? I pick it up with a quick smile knowing that my heart will start to flutter again reading his words and his memories and his feelings. He hadn't lied this had been fun; I just wish he was here to see my appreciation in the flesh.

**_So your home._**

**_I guess you have realised I was sneaky and came back when I knew you weren't here…I had the owner of your first stop call me when you got there so you didn't see me._**

**_This last letter is eventually going to explain what the point of this was BUT don't skip to the end I have a few last words for you._**

**_Love. That word can be used for so many different things, you love your Marc Jacobs' bag, we love our friends and family, I love any Katy Perry single…..even the weird album only ones. But my love for you is the strongest of all; it encourages me in times of insecurity; it keeps me safe when I'm feeling scared and it makes me feel like I could conquer the world. Because if you haven't realised this already, you make me whole. Your my best friend and soul mate all wrapped up in one beautifully unique package. I will never tire of the way my heart beats faster watching you scrunch up your nose as you scribble designs in your sketch book, or dancing to some cheesy pop ballad as you clean or the way I feel like I could float into the sky when your lips are against mine. I feel like our destiny was written in the stars long before we were born and met as three year olds behind the tree where I was sobbing hysterically. It pains me to admit I was too stupid to realise this all sooner, because there will never be enough moments to spend with you in my life, no measure of time will ever be enough._**

**_Moments. This place holds a lot of them for us as a couple, but I think you remember my favourite one. The night you finally said 'I love you'. Of course I knew that was how you felt, but hearing it out loud again meant that you were ready to give yourself completely to me. I think there are very few moments that can top this one in my eyes….but I'm going to try. Meet me in the bedroom._**

**_With every bit of my heart I love you. Xxxxxxxxx_**

I pounce out of the chair and run to our door as fast as my tired legs will carry me but I don't care because I know he's waiting for me, he has been all this time in our room. When I throw the door open my eyes go wide as I take in Blaine on one knee, fully dressed in a tuxedo and holding out an open ring box in front of me.

"Kurt, as I hope my love letters to you have conveyed….I am so incredibly in love with you and will be forever. I promise to always remind you how truly perfectly imperfect you are and never let a day go by without you knowing how cherished you are. So will you please do me the greatest honour by becoming my husband?" My mouth seems to be hanging wide and not listening to anything my brain is telling it to do as tears fall freely from my eyes, so I do all I can and nod before throwing myself into Blaine's open arms. We land on the floor with a thud but I don't care all I can do is kiss him with everything I have to offer until he pushes me back a bit. "So that's a yes then?"

"Of course it's a yes!" I kiss him quickly again and feel him tugging my hand to place the ring on my hand. It's gorgeous. A platinum band with five diamonds sitting in the centre. "You didn't ask me in Wal-Mart!" I cry happily as I cling to him as tightly as possible.

"I just wanted it to be special; I promised your dad I would make it count." He says softly into my ear and I sob hard against his shoulder. "Babe your supposed to be happy not sobbing!" he laughs.

"But you asked for my dad's permission and got me this ring and set up all these love letters and you were here waiting in a tux….I love you so much!" I manage to get out between shoulder racking sobs.

"And I love you Mr Hummel-Anderson to be…" he kisses me again as I sob hysterically at the thrill of that sentence. Life could not get any better than this.


	9. Cyber Interrogations

Was that another sex moan? That's does it! I'm no prude…I think that is easy to observe but listening to the two Disney princes going at it for almost twenty four hours does it! I send out a very blunt text to the 'family' and wait a few minutes before logging on to my computer. I mean seriously? I'm pretty sure he knows it's right there and doesn't need Blaine to remind him over and over, and over again! It's not like I'm bitter that they are having all the sex, okay so maybe it's been 6 weeks since I have had any action…maybe I did Google 'can your vagina reseal from lack of use?' last night, it totally cant by the way. But I'm pretty sure Blaine isn't as good in the sack as Kurt's moans would lead you to believe… And his name is Blaine not god…or harder! I slip out of my rant as the tell-tale sign of people logging in to the chat log starts to go off.

Santana: Is everyone here?

Cooper: yeah!

Rachel: Yes!

Finn: What's so important?

Santana: Not so fast Sasquatch…where's the daddies?

Dale: I'm here!

Jake: Santana is there really a need to call us that?!

Santana: except that it sounds a bit kinky….none what so ever! :P

Maya: Why did you make me set up gran with one of these accounts?

Finn: Santana you don't even like guys….

Rachel: I don't know if I'm comfortable with the twins witnessing this kind of conversation…

Dale: Why are you two on separate accounts anyway? Jakes at work or we would do this together!

Santana: Relax! It's only going to get mildly sexual! And Mrs B needs one of these accounts to stay informed!

Finn: Rachel won't let me type on her account….

Rachel: Finn thinks I talk too much…

Maya: Side bar….together….dirty daddies ;)

Santana: Because you do Rachel! Now where are the elderlies?

Burt: I'm here! So is Carole!

Mabel: Fashionably late as always darlings :)

Jake: I still don't know why we are having a family online meeting? How's Lydia?

Burt: why are we elderlies?

Dale: She's having her afternoon nap honey!

Maya: I am so not up for a child catch up!

Jake: I'm just checking in on my child.

Rachel: hagdbfnvkbsbghkbddf

Rachel: Sorry Jayde hit the keyboard! Is she trying solids yet?

Dale: Not willingly…the scrunched up face she makes is so cute.

Mable: Lydia is adorable, how are your two?

Finn: I want them to start kick boxing!

Rachel: Finn Hudson they can't even walk yet!

Maya: Seriously guys I'm going….

Santana: No stay! we have important business to discuss!

Burt: What did you do to Kurt now?

Cooper: Like what? I have a half hour before I need to be on set and I'm hungry! Plus it's meatball Madness day in the catering truck!

Finn: What kind of business? I'm tired the twins were up non-stop last night

Rachel: Like you were the one up every two hours!

Maya: What's with all the secrecy?

Mabel: I'm intrigued? Is this the escort vs. prostitute debate again?

Dale: Santana!

Santana: GUYS FOCUS!

Jake: Well hurry up my breaks almost over!

Burt: Carole says eat and type Cooper!

Finn: Hey I heard them cry I just can't feed them!

Cooper: Mama Carole knows best ;)

Rachel: It was expressed milk Finn!

Maya: Enough of the baby talk your making my ovaries bleed…

Cooper: Too much info lesbian 2…..

Burt: Cooper!

Santana: Seriously lesbian 2?

Jake: Get to the point!

Finn: I think I was just sick in my mouth a little Maya

Maya: Maya one….babies everywhere zero….

Santana: Okay so Kurt and Blaine have been making some obscene noises in their room all day….

Dale: At least it's in their room this time….

Finn: Seriously vomit in my mouth!

Cooper: Why does my brother get more action than me…..

Burt: I don't know if I want to hear this…or see it? What's the right way to phrase that?

Maya: probably because his boyfriends a hot piece of ass…..

Santana: That and your old….

Jake: Please no age prejudice!

Mabel: No different from usual….

Santana: Sorry big bird but there's a point!

Rachel: One that I'd like you to get too I'm leaking…

Maya: Ewww!

Dale: Gay man present!

Burt: In laws present!

Santana: Okay so sexy time is no different than usual but I found this pile of letters…like mushy, gag worthy letters!

Jake: found as in you went snooping?

Mabel: Oh the letters! I had one to give him.

Maya: What did they say? I burnt my hand on the steamer before I got it open!

Burt: Curiosity killed the cat!

Finn: please its better than the sex picture…that can never unseen!

Dale: That amazingly graphic picture…

Maya: please like you and the hubby didn't get all hot and bothered after it!

Burt: I don't even wanna ask….

Cooper: It was amazing….Kurt's ass is still really peachy!

Santana: Only in his bag…..that accidentally fell off the coffee table when I kicked it!

Maya: Nice!

Cooper: Is it wrong that I feel a little turned on right now?

Finn: Oh….. I'm imagining it again!

Rachel: This is the route I didn't want to go down…

Burt: Enough of the inappropriate picture talk!

Dale: WHAT DID THE LETTERS SAY!

Jake: Oh my god love letters….that is such a Blaine thing to do!

Mabel: Santana! You know Kurt will not like that!

Santana: I know…But I can deal with his bitch fit! All about love and eternity and all that other couple shit!

Maya: Ever the romantic…..

Cooper: That sounds like a warm up act to me….

Dale: What are we doing about it?

Mabel: Like your anymore romantic Maya! You said flowers were a way for the government to make millions on the times people buy them for doing something wrong!

Burt: I'm phoning them right now!

Finn: I text this morning and didn't hear anything back.

Rachel: Same!

Santana: He always ignores you Rach…you're a diva! Papa Burt hold on I have a plan!

Cooper: Spy camera?

Jake: No he took that out when he found it!

Maya: I'm concerned about your mental states….

Santana: One better! Email attack…

Dale: By George I think she's got it!

Finn: We haven't done this in years!

Mabel: Care to explain to the more mature members of the group?

Burt: I'm questioning why you are all our family right now!

Dale: You love us?

Santana: Okay so what happens is we start sending emails…of all scales of emergencies…if Kurt hears it go enough he'll check….

Cooper: He sees a shit load in his inbox and BOOM!

Burt: BOOM?!

Jake: Starts thinking something is wrong and looks at them….or calls someone first…

Finn: Then BOOM!

Mabel: What's that Boom?

Rachel: We discover the secret!

Maya: What was it the last time?

Santana: He was taking secret pole dancing lessons…

Cooper: Epic fail!

Burt: WHAT?!

Cooper: this is why I don't let my parents go online….

Santana: Okay operation Scarecrow falls is a go!

Cooper: Rodger!

Burt: I don't know guys!

Finn: Dad this is the only way to do it!

Rachel: Style crisis a go!

Jake: I love a good sabotage!

Maya: I'm just sending nudes of me….

Dale: Let's break them!

* * *

To: Kurt

From: Santana

To my two best friends…. I can hear what you're doing….I also found your letters. If you don't want them sent around all your closest friends then I would come out and tell me what's going on….If not I will also switch out Blaine's gel for liquid cement….

To: Kurt

From: Dad

Hi kid! Just a heads up that Santana is out to break you. I tried to talk her out of it but there is no stopping her (you remember the birthday cake incident). Hope everything is okay? Call more! Love you dad and Carole xxx

To: Blaine

From: Burt

I think the rest of the kids are on to you…I've not let slip….I take it he said yes? Xxx

To: Kurt

From: Dale

Lydia just did her first solid poo….Is it wrong I took a picture? I hope not as I've sent you it! Tell Blaine hi :)

To: Kurt

From: Jake

Hi! Just a quick question? Is Blaine allergic to flour? Landin is making him cookies! I think you are no longer favourite uncle….

To: Kurt

From: Maya

Where is the fire extinguisher in the shop? Nothing serious just let me know as soon as!

To: Kurt

From: Mrs B

Hi darlings I have been informed you and Blaine are fucking each other senseless and I just wanted to say bravo….and can you please shut the windows this time? You know how much of a stick in the mud Jack from downstairs is!

To: Kurt

From: Cooper

Scarecrow! What are the main signs of herpes in a male? I think I have it!

To: Kurt

From: Finn

Dude! Why aren't you answering my texts or calls….What is going on with you guys?

To: Kurt

From: Rachel

Kurt I think it's time to get rid of my animal sweaters….

To: Kurt

From: Finn

Oh forget that email I wasn't supposed to ask! Did you know that Kentucky fried chicken is what KFC means?

To: Kurt

From: Dale

I want a sex date with my husband! The children are coming over to you tonight! Just so we are clear…It's full on up against a wall….

To: Kurt

From: Cooper

Oh wait does this look like gonorrhoea to you?

To: Kurt

From: Maya

Is it acceptable to show up in Santana's room in just lingerie?

To: Kurt

From: Jake

I just had a patient with his arm hanging on by its skin! Blood and bone everywhere!

To: Kurt

From: Rachel

I'm also rethinking my knee high socks! Shopping trip?!

To: Kurt

From: Santana

I told your dad about the pole dancing lessons…..and I'm not even sorry! Also I think Maya wants a piece of this! Slutty just because sex!

To: Kurt

From: Finn

I think I just blocked the toilet….where can we buy a plunger?

To: Kurt

From: Maya

I'm coming over right now! I Know you're in your room!

* * *

"Babe! Switch it off! It can't beep if it's off!" Blaine muffled out from his pillow as the onslaught of emails texts and phone calls kept coming.

"I can't! There on to us! Why else would they all be sending messages at once?" I ponder as another obscene picture comes through from Cooper. Blaine sighs in defeat before sitting up beside me wrapping both arms around my bare chest so he can hook his chin over my shoulder to see what is happening. "You got an email to….."

"Because they have no boundaries? mines probably just junk mail, I'm not permanently attached to my phone unlike you!" He chuckles before gagging. "Is that Maya semi naked?" He asks looking at the attachment on Maya's email.

"Yeah! Your brother sent me a variety of STD pictures too!" I grin as I feel him shiver against my back.

"Oh my god!" he yells out of nowhere causing me to jump slightly in shock. "Email sabotage! They know!" he squeaks picking up his phone to check his waiting messages.

"How could they know? You only told dad….oh shit Santana found the letters!" I gasp reading one of the first emails I had been sent. "She wouldn't send them to everyone right?" I ask looking at his frowning face.

"Your dad didn't tell anyone but I think he has guessed…" he mumbles putting his phone back down and picking my hands up. "And after the sex picture she sent out I wouldn't put anything past her! I think we need to tell everyone….I know we wanted today just to ourselves but…."

"But with our friends and family we are lucky they didn't start an online meeting by now….." Blaine's eyes widen and I realise a sabotage mission has to have been planned and planning means… "They have discussed us in an unsupervised chat log!"

"They at least haven't said anything too bad…your dad hasn't killed me yet!" Blaine says hopefully. "So who do we call first?"

"Oh no calls mean lots of questions….lots of questions mean hours of our time….and I have us scheduled for passionate love making at 5pm!" I say shaking my head at him.

"Is this where we become one of those couples that have to put sex on the calendar?" He asks seriously.

"Only if it's more than once a day my little bumble bee!" I place a gentle kiss to his nose as his shoulders shake mid giggle. "Now to send out emails to all our nearest and dearest…." Okay Kurt, just be your usual witty self, they don't get to gush about it yet. You have a whole night of sex left to be had with your hot beau. Play them at their own game.

To: Dad

From: Kurt

Hi old man! Just to let you know I'm alive and definitely well! Also Blaine says don't believe anything Satan says! Yes I said yes! Like there was any other response! I just screamed again it doesn't feel real yet….I love you for giving your blessing and will call you tomorrow! Love you to the moon xxxxx

To: Finn

From: Kurt

My simple brother…what is going on is that me and Blaine have got engaged! Yes to get married…yes to each other! Also I want you to be proud that you and you wife are the only two that didn't get reduced to sexual expletives in this sabotage mission….Kudos to you! I'll call you tomorrow and let you discuss whatever sports score you wanted to brag about to Blaine. Xx

To: Rachel

From: Kurt

First things first….If you ever joke about falsely removing those monstrosities from your wardrobe again I will make you watch porn with Santana….one with lots of commentary! Secondly…..I am engaged to my beautiful bumble bee! I will call you once the dogs start to settle from your screams! Xx

To: Dale

From: Kurt

You dick! I am very naked and very covered in unmentionable things so don't bring your kids here as I have no intention to be a good uncle for this one day! Why you ask? Because I plan on having sex all night with my very YOUTHFUL fiancé…..yes you read correctly! I'm getting married bitches! Don't call again if you know what's good for you.

To: Jake

From: Kurt

As I have already informed your other half….me and Blaine are engaged….we are going to be as old and married as you two soon! FLAIL! I'll get him to call you once he's recovered from the marathon that's about to occur…..You said you wanted to know everything! Xxx

To: Cooper

From: Kurt

That is not your penis….I know this because you get naked regularly when drunk! Also I wouldn't joke about these things you probably are riddled…The reason we have been MIA for the last few hours is because I'm now your future brother in law….that means a bachelor party! That you can help organise! Love your biggest fan girl's xxx

To: Maya

From: Kurt

Aside from almost killing my fiancé….just having sex with Santana isn't going to work! Too many feelings involved! Oh what's that you say? fiancé? Oh yes! IM ENGAGED! And the ring is fricking gorgeous! Xxxxx

To: Mrs B

From: Kurt

Windows closed…..Jack is just jealous he isn't getting any….Side note Blaine's little letters? Were a very well planned out proposal attack! You need to help with everything! I'll be in late tomorrow ;)

To: Santana

From: Kurt

Well my nosey roommate! Congratulations! You win! The sabotage has broken me….I am hiding in our room having lots of sex because BLAINE PROPOSED! Don't bother trying to come in (The doors locked) but you could make us dinner for later but just a heads up…our clothing will be optional…..Also don't show anyone the letters….they were meant for my eyes only! Love you long time the other two legs of the tripod xxx


	10. Family Dinner

"Okay can I just put it out there?That as much as I love you all…I am not going to be a third wheel and look after the children while you all suck face!" Santana says loudly as she plops herself down in the empty chair between me and Landin.

After Blaine and I had come out of our cocoon of sex and just generally being together. Santana had bluntly walked into the bathroom – while we may or may not have been otherwise occupied – and told us that a Hummel style Friday dinner was going to be taking place and attendance was mandatory. So here the seven of us were. Sitting in one of our favourite restaurants to celebrate and give them all the proper story.

"Well if you were to have a…I don't know red headed girlfriend…you wouldn't always be the odd one out…" Jake smiles suggestively at her before she flips him off.

"Bite me dad!" Santana growls taking a swig of water. "Why don't we have champagne? I thought this was a celebration?"

"Aunty Tan? I can be your boyfriend if you want?" Landin asks from beside her making her grin happily.

"You can be my one and only boyfriend for ever and ever bug!" She places several sloppy kisses all over his face earning her a chuckle from where Lydia was sat in a high chair. "I've no time for girlfriends but it doesn't matter…"

"Because friend with benefits are always better?" Landin asks seriously, raising his eyebrows at her from under her hands.

"Exactly!" She squeals delighted turning to face the rest of us. "So what's the deal with celebratory drinks?"

"You taught my child the term friends with benefits?" Dale asks angrily as Jake just stares at her.

"Relax granddad! He doesn't know what it means!" She shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"Oh my god! We are going to be those parents? The ones who have to go into school constantly because of their child's potty mouth…." Jake says in shock, his head in his hands, as Lydia bangs the table for attention. "I know beau…Aunty Tan won't ever get near you when your big…she will turn you into one of her!"

"A bitchy lesbian?" I say in amusement.

"Slightly slutty?" Blaine asks right after.

"The best aunty in the world?" Landin asks trying to 'join in' the grown up conversation. Santana turns to him again, smiling widely at her favourite nephew.

"And that is why you're my favourite boy!" She kisses him over and over until he squeals loud enough to make the tables around us look over. "So seriously celebration drinks?" She asks sitting back up in her chair.

"Well Blaine doesn't drink so we were contemplating not getting any…" I say carefully, it's not like I can't drink around him but I don't want to celebrate our engagement any differently to how he is.

"We can have soda!" Landin says seriously. "It has bubbles too!" He informs us just in case we weren't aware.

"Hold up!" Santana says taking in our faces. "I have to sit here and listen to your engagement story…without alcohol to numb my pain?"

"You make it sound like a hardship Tan!" Dale laughs, while absentmindedly stroking Lydia's tiny puff of hair.

"I don't do mushy! I need at least a bottle of wine to get through the amount of gag worthy gushing they are going to put us through." She spits towards me.

"And people say I'm the alcoholic…" Blaine laughs loudly and Jake quickly swoops in to avoid Landin asking what that means by changing the subject.

"Why don't we just get a couple of wines then? Nothing fancy or extra special!" He says to ease out any possible arguments. I mouth a 'thank you' in his direction as a waitress comes over to take our orders. After he's gone and our drinks appear we all settle in for the duration.

"Uncle Blaine?" Landin asks smiling.

"Yeah bud?"

"Now you and Uncle Kurt are getting married does that mean you'll have a baby?" I may have spit out some of my water in shock, which causes Santana to laugh while dabbing at my chin with a napkin.

"Well not right now…" Blaine says flustered.

"But you said when you get married you have babies!" We both look over to Jake and Dale, who decide to become engrossed in Lydia. Those fucking traitors.

"Well some people do, but we won't be getting married for a long time yet so no babies for now anyway!" He says carefully not wanting to start an entire interrogation right now.

"But when you do I'll be a big cousin?" Landin asks quieter almost like he's afraid to ask.

"Of course you will you goof!" I say reaching over Santana's lap to rub his shoulder affectionately.

"Okay! Can we have dessert first?" Apparently the matter is no longer a concern for him.

"After you eat your dinner…" Dale chimes in. Oh so now he can hear what we are talking about?

"Okay I can't take it anymore! How did it happen?" Jake squeals in delight at getting to gush like the hopeless romantic he is.

"Well it was all kind of kicked into action at Christmas….when Burt took me and Landin to the park!" Blaine starts and I can't help but get a cheesy grin on my face as he reaches over to take my hand. I've already heard this story several times but I don't think I will ever tire of it. "He kind of just…knew that there was something on my mind and coaxed it out of me. I had known since your party that I wanted to do it but obviously hearing Burt say he agreed was the best feeling."

"You knew since Christmas and you didn't tell me?" Jake ask in shock. They had become quite the twosome recently trading secrets and worries between them both.

"I didn't want anyone to know until I decided how I was going to do it…" Blaine says with a shake of his head. "But then a certain friend went blabbing to a national magazine and it made me realise I had to do it sooner rather than later."

"So it was all because of me?" Santana drawls with pride and slurps down more of her wine.

"Well it was more to do with the not so subtle questioning our little peachy gave me after reading the article…" Blaine kisses the knuckles of the hand he's holding.

"I just wanted to make sure we were still on the right track…..you had been so careful not to bring it up since that night at the party!" I say with a sigh, knowing he was right. I was anything but subtle in my barrage of questions that day.

"Because you had given me a list of all the places I wasn't allowed to propose…I wasn't bringing it up again until I had a plan of action…." He says in defence. "That's where Burt came in handy…he had suggested I put little poem post its everywhere like I used to do in high school. But I was worried he would think I had done something wrong."

"Yeah I remember the one from when you had fought about him seeing me…" Dale smiles at the memory and I hit my head on to a table with a groan.

"Oh the night Peachy told Bumble he could set up camp in Sebastian's ass…." Santana says with a wicked gleam in her eye. "I forgot about that…oh and the time you walked in on the-"

"Tan? Don't make me enforce a baby time out!" Jake sings at her, covering Lydia's ears dramatically.

"Yes! Back to the point!" I say lifting my head up off of the table to look back at Blaine with all the love I possessed.

"So then I got to thinking about all the important places in our relationship…places that had been a part of us getting to where we are now and then I thought giving him letters would mean he couldn't ask me constantly what was going on and I wouldn't forget everything I really wanted to say…." He looks at me with pure joy in his eyes. "Then I got out paper and the words just started coming!"

"So where exactly were they all? We figured Mrs B had one at the shop!" Dale asks as he dangles Lydia's toy above her head to keep her amused.

"Well at first I got back to the apartment and I was mad he wasn't there…." I say as Blaine nods at me to continue. "We were meant to be having a date day but then I saw the letter and knew he was up to something…then he had me traipse to where we met again, the coffee shop down the street, the restaurant from our first date –"

"A story I will always treasure….peachy can really rock a black eye!" Santana giggles from her chair, where Landin has now crawled in to her lap to listen to every detail he can.

"Funny…to the shop and then back to the apartment….where you would think I would find my devoted boyfriend waiting…" I say with a roll of my eye. "But there was another letter instead and then when he said he was in our room I couldn't get there fast enough! And then there he was on one knee in a tux with an amazing ring!" I flash my ring again just so to emphasise its beauty even though they have all seen a picture of it.

"Then he bawled his eyes out….of course!"

"Then he did some other things!" Santana grins before flinching when I connect my foot to her leg under the table. "I wasn't going to say what!" she hisses as Landin watches us carefully.

"Did you really not have a clue?" Jake asks with a gleam in his eye.

"No!" I laugh shaking my head. "I just thought he was trying to wine and dine me or something….it wasn't until I saw him that it clicked. I just couldn't get over it! That he had gone to all this time and effort just to show that he loved me." I reach over to stroke my thumb across his cheek.

"Of course I would! I love you" He says gently leaning into my touch.

"Aunty Tan are you crying?"

"No!" she says hastily wiping at her eyes. "I'm just allergic to all the cheesy romance…"

"You are totally crying!" Dale accuses her, leaning forward to stare closely at her.

"Dale leave her alone! It's not every day she realises she has a soul…" I say laughing at Landin trying to comfort her by wrapping his little arms around her neck and giving her a big kiss.

"Oh shut up! I hate you all!" She moans trying to blow her running nose as subtly as she can.

"Is it hard to be the only singleton in the group?" Jake teases leaning forward on to his hands. "Is your heart thawing out? Are you becoming a romantic?"

"Well it's not like she couldn't have a girlfriend….I know of one that lives very close by and I know she likes all of her very much…" Blaine adds leaning into me to get a better look at her.

"Bite me seriously!" She hisses as the tears begin to subside.

"Totally the wrong crowd for that kind of offer…" Santana stops to think about what I have said before laughing.

"I would use some choice language right now if I didn't have my very favourite man on my knee…" She says narrowing her eyes at me. "We are trying to be friends…nothing more nothing less!"

"But the S. B. Double S!" Jake whines from her other side.

"The what?" I ask in confusion.

"Spell it out and think about what would not be appropriate for these little ears to hear…" Dale pulls Lydia's ears out and nods at Landin. "Esss beee esss esss" He says in exaggeration opening his eyes really wide to stare me down. I'm so confused sbss? What the hell is sbss? Is that even a real thing? Oh!

"Oh!" Blaine inhales sharply and he has obviously pieced it together at the same time as me. It seemed like for ever ago they had fallen into bed together under a pretence of the slutty baby shower sex tradition but that is definitely more than friendly if the noises we heard were anything to go by.

"No! No oh! That was a one time thing! I don't have feelings for her!" Santana says firmly squeezing Landin tight to her chest for a cuddle.

"But Santana you were adamant you hated her when she reappeared…and now you guys have….you know!" Dale sighs mindful of the two sets of alert ears also at the table.

"There's a fine line between love and hate…." Blaine adds sarcastically.

"No there isn't and beside hates a strong feeling….I don't have any strong feelings for her anymore." Santana relays like she has on so many occasions. It's a shame really that none of us buy it.

"But Santana if you just-"

"No Kurt!" She adds fiercely.

"But she said-"

"No Kurt!"

"But what if –"

"Peachy I am not averse to sticking this fork into your eye." She picks the item in question up to weave it around her fingers menacingly.

"But think of all the double dates we-"

"No it's my life!" She sighs dramatically. "I didn't' stick my nose into any of your relationships….past or present!"

"That's exactly what you did!" I moan at her.

"But I'm me and you're you!" she says matter of factly as if that answers anything. "I have my Mexican third eye it's never wrong." She grins tapping her long manicured nail to her forehead, Landin of course copies her.

"But if you just talked to her you could maybe have something really special…" I trail off as she brings her face close to me, the look of the devil in her eye, making me gulp in terror.

"Kurt? I love you but I don't want all this gag worthy stuff that you guys have….so please just stay out of it?" She ask sincerely but I can tell she's lying. She never could lie to me.

"Fine!" I huff but she keeps watching me. Wanting more of a promise. "I Kurt Hummel will not get involved!"

"Great! Now if you don't mind Landin and I are going to the bar to get us some cocktails!" She smiles and drags Landin with her.

"She won't give him a real one will she?" Jake whispers across the table. "Make his a virgin!" He yells at her retreating back. "Just in case…" he explains as we all watch him in amusement.

"So we really aren't getting involved?" Dale asks.

"I for one appreciate my genitals far too much to push it!" Blaine says, absentmindedly covering his crotch with his hand.

"She's lying though…..isn't she? She wants Maya…bad!" Jake says and we all nod mutely.

"I give it until thanksgiving…" I say to nobody in particular, as I catch sight of her throwing cherries into Landin's mouth.


	11. Life isn't easy

Okay! So you get two updates this weekend as I'm away next weekend and won't get to post! I really worried about this chapter and it took two weeks to write...it's a bit different than the usual so if you could let me know what you think after I'd appreciate it! Also I don't want to spoil anything but there could be triggers...

* * *

Applause is such a ridiculous concept. It's like your own tiny wave of acceptance, which really has nothing to do with being accepted and everything to do with you belting out the crowds favourite tune at the right time. It doesn't mean they know you, or accept your lifestyle choices, or think you're a nice person, and yet they still cheer for you when they feel it's appropriate to do so. The ridiculous part is the pride you feel when you hear it, like its redeeming every bad thing you thought about yourself for that short moment in time. Then the hard part comes. The applause finishes and you have to try and chase that high feeling it brings, you have to be responsible for creating your own pride. That's when I start to struggle. Don't get me wrong I love my life! I have an amazing fiancé, a bitchy side-kick best friend and a family who supports me, but sometimes it's just not enough to keep those dark thoughts away. The ones that dangle you perilously over the cliff that plummets you back to rock bottom, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. These were the thoughts running through my head as I wondered home on my own in the middle of New York.

It had all started simple enough. Kurt had been away for a few nights with work and I was finishing up a good set before packing up to head home and wait for him. The excitement pulsing through me as I walked out from back stage after my performance and into the busy bar that is Cat Calls on a Saturday night.

"Bee-Bee! You were amazing!" Kylie screams across the bar as I take my bottled water from her with a smile. "A guy even asked about you! Don't look at me like that… I told him you were definitely taken, but he says he just wants to talk about your set!" She beams, holding her hand up to a customer who was trying to shout his drink order at her.

"Where is he? I'll say a quick hi then I'm going home! It's been a long week!" I scream to be heard as the guy now decides to continue yelling his order at her, completely ignoring the fact that our conversation is taking place.

"He's over there….." she waves her hand at the booth in the corner. "Be nice! You might be sex deprived not having Kurt at home the last few days but you don't have to get all grumpy with your fans!" She blows me a kiss before turning her full attention to the crowd beside me.

"Call me tomorrow Kyles!" I stick my tongue out at her cheekily as she shouted about my mouth being otherwise occupied and squeeze through the crowd to arrive at the booth where I am met by a tuft of blonde hair over the top of the chair. I clear my throat to get his attention before moving round to the other side. "Hi, I'm Blaine!" I thrust my hand out for him to shake, but it drops limply against my side as his face looks up to mine.

"What, no hug?" He sneers in a smarmy fashion.

"Bye!" I hiss and turn to flee out the front door before I can hear his response, but before I make it to the end of the street his hand pulls me to a stop. I try to fight against it but I feel my body being thrust back around to face him.

"That reaction would make people think you're not happy to see me…" He grins evilly at me, knowing full well I wasn't pleased to see him at all.

"What are you doing here Sebastian?" I frown at him, pulling my arm harshly from his grip.

"Now honey! Is that any way to speak to your first?"

"You don't really deserve the dapper gentleman, do you? Why are you here?" I glare at him and take a moment to really look at him. These last few years have been kind to him considering the habits I have heard he still has, but his cheek bones stick out more than I remember and his eyes seem heavy and lifeless.

"Babe that was a long time ago! I was in the city and bumped into a friend who said I had to check out the cutest bar singer ever, and surprise-surprise they were talking about you….Who would have thought you'd be slumming it in a dingy bar out in Bushwick?" His grin stays fixed in place.

"It's making music and paying the bills! I'm still doing what I love, it's just in a more secure setting, like a grown up does…..I wouldn't call it slumming!" I say evenly, biting the inside of my mouth to keep me quiet; I didn't need him to know he was annoying me. That would be a win for him, and I felt I finally deserved to win this argument.

"The Blaine I remember wanted to be a huge star!"

"Well things change, the touring got boring and I have someone to stay in New York for."

"Oh yeah! The girl behind the bar tried to warn me off from hitting on you, said you were…with your soul mate." He scoffed putting air quotes around the last part with his fingers.

"Kurt and I are very happy for your information…" I spit out harshly, crossing my arms across my chest as his eyebrows shoot up on his forehead.

"You shacked up with Kurt Hummel?" He whispers in a disgusted tone, the grin turning into a sneer.

"No I live with him, we've been together for over two years….He is my soul mate!"

"You've been whipped by him? Of all people! Do you not see how predictable that is? Best friends turned lovers…" He looks at me expectantly but when I didn't answer he continued anyway. "It's like some bad TV show car crash waiting to happen!"

"No I'm in a loving, equal relationship! Something I didn't get to truly experience before due to my coke head, cheating scumbag of a boyfriend!" I try my best not to yell as party goers are weaving around us on the street. "We are perfect together, I'm just mad we wasted so many years not being together!"

"I always knew he had a thing for you! He never liked me!"

"Well the fact he never trusted you sure showed what a good judge of character he is after everything that happened between us! At least we are completely honest with each other now!" I blink furiously, trying to stop the tears from coming; he isn't worth them not any more.

"Honest? Come on Blaine you know how this is going to go, you're a singer in a dive bar four nights a week and Kurt is on magazines claiming he is the next big thing…he's just biding his time like I was!" He spat at me, but the manic grin had come back.

"No you got yourself a little habit, you hit self-destruct and that's what destroyed us Sebastian!" I yell this time and draw a few curious glances as people walked passed us.

"And this time round it's you that has the filthy habit…..Really Blaine how long do you think it will be before Kurt realises what everyone else has before?" Sebastian laughs at me and I feel my inner confidence getting weaker by the second.

"That's totally different! I went to rehab! I got better!"

"Once an addict always an addict…..Kurt's going to wake up one day and realise what a mistake he made having anything to do with a low life like you, you're worthless Blaine. I saw it the first night we met! Kurt was the hotter one of you both but I knew I'd never be good enough, so I settled for you! How long do you think it will be before another hot guy comes along and that pampered prince realises he has settled for a good for nothing alcoholic and cuts you out of his life?" Sebastian has gotten very close to me during his speech and I can smell the vodka hit me square in the face, sending me reeling, as his breath tickles my skin.

"That's not true! He loves me, we're engaged!" I bite back, but I can feel my walls closing in as tears start dripping down my face.

"So he proposed to you then?" He pulls back to take in my stunned expression before grinning from ear to ear. "I didn't think so. Enjoy the time you have left before he throws you out along with all the other has-been's! He's on his way up and you would be an idiot to think you can just trail along for the ride. Just don't come crying to me when it all blows up in your face!" I can't retort as he takes off down the street and out of sight and my instincts take over. My feet start to walk on their own and there is no applause to drown out my thoughts, only the silence enveloping me into the dark. I need something to numb this feeling. Anything.

* * *

I hate traveling! Okay, so I don't hate traveling, I just hate it when it means I have to leave Blaine for five days in a row. The fashion shows in LA had been amazing and it meant I got some time with Finn, Rachel, Cooper and the twins, but the eight hour flight delay in an overcrowded, sweaty airport had me ready to all but dive into Blaine's arms as I reached our front door.

"Honey I'm hoooooome!" I shout dramatically as I drag my two bags through the door behind me (It was fashion season! I had to prepare for all kinds of situations!). But no witty comeback followed; neither did Blaine appear in front of me to help with my luggage as he always does. I decided to leave them abandoned in the hallway and go in search of my fiancé. "Blaine Devon Anderson! You better have a good reason to not be kissing me already…." I giggle out into the silence of the room. That's when I hear mumbling coming out from the couch, when I move into view he looks up with huge eyes and a goofy smile comes across his face.

"Kuuuurrrrt!" He drawls out. "You're home! Come have a talk with me and José!" He waves his arms around and an almost empty bottle of amber liquid comes into my eye line. My heart drops to somewhere around my feet and I just stand there for a few seconds looking at Blaine dumbfounded. His pupils are dilated and the white of his eyes red and blood shot, his skin is red and faint blotches are still visible on his cheeks, almost like he's been crying. He is in the same clothes that he had on yesterday in the picture he had sent me. What the hell have I missed? And why the hell didn't he phone me?

"Blaine are you drunk?" I ask unsure, maybe he didn't drink it willingly, maybe someone forced him with a gun to his head.

"Shhhhh, you can't tell my boyfriend!" He whispers, leaning closer to me as I sit beside him and move what's left of the tequila out of reach.

"Blaine? I need you to tell me truthfully….Is this all you've had to drink?" If it's one bottle I can fix it, if he has been drinking in secret for longer I have no chance to fix it. It doesn't help the rage I can feel burning inside at the fact that he would rather find his answers at the bottom of the bottle instead of calling me.

"Nooooo! The captain ran out, he's my best friend!" Blaine looked serious for a minute. "You're pretty! Do you know I'm a coaster?"

"Blaine focus!" I snap, trying to not lose my temper. Where the fuck was Santana this whole time anyway? "Did you only drink today?" I clasp his head between my hands so he can't look away.

"It was Dark when I started! Then the light came on, Sebastian made me…." He mumbled, letting his eyes droop low but I wiggled him to keep him focused no matter how annoyed I was at hearing that name.

"Blaine? Did you see him?" I ask even more afraid of the answer now than I would have been a few minutes ago.

"He was at the bar….He didn't say nice things." Blaine's eyes were rolling again, but I wasn't letting this go. I need answers.

"BLAINE! Why was Sebastian at your work?" I ask more forcefully, but Blaine doesn't seem to notice or care at this point. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes already.

"To see my show! You're crying?" He put a finger out to try and catch a tear as it came rolling down my cheek.

"It doesn't matter…lie down and go to sleep okay?" I sniff, trying not to show the hurt on my face. Blaine is unaware to any of it as he face plants onto the couch and starts to snore instantaneously.

My happy little bubble had been well and truly burst and I knew there would be no coherent answers until Blaine sobered up. I went through to the kitchen and emptied the contents of the bottle, or what was left of it anyway and forced my tears to stay in. This wasn't the time for me to break, not when Blaine clearly had issues he was struggling with. Taking in a deep breath I picked up my phone to dial one of the only people that would understand what I was going through. Someone that had been there first time around.

"Scarecrow! Missing me already? I would have thought Blaine was keeping you too busy for that! But never fear my flight to New York is just about to board!" Cooper's witty voice comes down from the other end of the line.

"Cooper I need you to come to the apartment before you do anything else….." I whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear the panic in my voice before getting on his flight. Lucky for me he was coming up on a later flight than I had been on to stay for a few days for auditions. Well, not lucky, but definitely not bad.

"What's wrong?" Oh shit. I can't lie. I need to tell him but maybe I could down play it until he gets here and I can help him through the worry.

"Well I don't want you to panic or anything…."

"Kurt what's wrong? Did he do something? Because I swear to god I will kick his ass so hard-"

"COOPER! I don't want you to freak out! Because if you freak out then I freak out, but I think you need to cancel your auditions….Blaine…he…he's had a drink…" I mumble out, not really knowing how else to tell him except state the obvious.

"WHAT!" I have to move the phone away as he screams.

"Cooper please! Please don't freak out about this….I need you to stay calm. I need you to help me figure out why!" I feel the tears coming and I can't stop it this time. "Please tell me what to do!"

"Kurt where is he now?"

"I let him fall asleep on the couch….." I look back out the door to check he's still there. "He's drunk a lot of tequila and I couldn't understand what he was saying, but he mentioned Sebastian and – I don't know what to do, tell me what to do?!" I'm sobbing hysterically now and can't seem to stop. It feels like an eternity before Cooper speaks up again.

"Okay…..My flights boarding Kurt! I'll be there in just over six hours. Let him sleep, get rid of the rest of the bottle and stay put okay? I'm going to get Dale to come over and sit with you till I get there, where's Santana?" He asks softly, he sounds sure of his plan even if he isn't.

"She must be at the studio or something….It doesn't look like she's been home! If my flight hadn't been delayed I would have got here through the night…."

"Don't blame yourself Kurt! I'll be there soon okay? Dale's coming now! I love you little bro….I promise I will fix this!" He says as I hear air hostesses in the background calling him forward. "Maybe get him into the bedroom and lock the door? Keep him in one space till I get there…Kurt I gotta go!"

"Okay, just get here quick. Love you too!" I rush out and then drop to the floor and draw my knees up in front of my chest to let the sobs escape my body before collecting myself enough to wrangle Blaine into the bedroom.

* * *

I don't know how long I had been sitting in wait of Dale arriving or Santana appearing home as she still hadn't text. I was vaguely aware of the front door opening and closing again as I sat with my head buried into my knees, then there was echoing footsteps and someone shouting my name, but I stayed put. The minute they found me was the minute this all became real and I wasn't quite ready for that. Then the door squeaked open and I heard the footsteps slip on to the tiled floor.

"I should have known you'd be in here…." His voice came out gently, almost as if he was trying to calm a rabid dog. I suppose in my predicament I didn't look much better. "You haven't done this in a long time…"

"I haven't had much cause for it recently, have I?" I bite back, more angry at myself then Dale.

"I suppose not….."

"Did you see him?" I ask, hating the quiver that my voice gave out.

"He's still out cold in the bedroom….I put a glass of water beside him…"

"Okay…thanks" I mumble out from under my arms.

"Kurt do you want to get out of the shower?" Dale asks kindly, bringing a warm towel into my vision but I shake my head fiercely. "Can I turn the water off? You're going to ruin your Prada boots…." I shake my head and he sits down at the edge of the tub.

"Do you know why I always choose to sit in the shower when I feel sad?" I ask, not looking at him but focusing on the patch of limescale on one of the tiles. I really need to clean that better.

"Because you say it always reminded you of your mom and the rain?" He asks hopefully.

"Because whenever I was upset….my mom always used to say the rain could wash it all away…and if it was gone it couldn't hurt me any more…but…the rain isn't helping me just now…" I crack a little and feel his arm reach in behind me to switch the faucet off.

"Kurt? I want you to get out of the tub okay? I got you clean sweats and we are going to sit in the living room to talk about this okay?" He asks, helping me out and peeling my shirt off of my skin as carefully as he can.

Once we were seated on the couch he sits patiently as I collect my thoughts, trying to figure out what I want to say when all I keep thinking is this can't be happening to us!

"Do you believe in Karma?" I ask out of the blue and Dale tries his hardest not to let his confusion show.

"I think there is something greater than us all…planning out our lives. I just don't know if I buy in to all that karma talk…"

"Because I believed in it when I was younger….but then I realised….That there are some people in this world that do truly horrific and unjust things and they seem to avoid any punishment. Then there are people like Blaine…who would never intentionally hurt anybody and he gets stuck with this…this disease! How is that fair?" I ask flatly, knowing nobody can answer the age old question of the cruel, hard world.

"Kurt I know this is a lot to handle but you have to try and be strong for him, we need to find out what caused him to go back to that type of coping….did he call you or text you last night?" he holds my hand tightly as if he was keeping me grounded.

"Just a picture of his outfit for work, he was excited about some new songs he was trying….I text him saying the flight was delayed but he never responded…"

"Okay so….he went to work and played his set. Did he say anything to you when you got back?"

"It was all kind of random…he did say Sebastian made him…but I know he wouldn't bow down to peer pressure! The drink never bothers him while we are at parties or anything…" I babble more to reassure myself than anything else.

"Sebastian? He saw him? Have they been in contact before?" Dale asks in surprise, after all the last time we all saw him was high school.

"I don't think so! I- I looked through his phone…" I admit in embarrassment. "There wasn't a number or any text from him, I think he must have been at the bar….I don't know for sure."

"Okay….so he could have said something to him? Made him upset?" Dale asks in a calm voice and I wonder if the roles were reversed, could I be that calm?

"Why didn't he phone me though?" I sob. "We are getting married! No secrets! I just – What if he's done this before tonight? I remember how bad it got the last time before he cut us off…..What if it happens again?" Dale pulls me in to a tight hug and squeezes me close to him, my sobs getting louder.

"Kurt! What the hell is going on?" Santana screeches from the doorway and I pull away from Dale long enough to take in her worried face.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" I screech at her. "Why didn't you come home last night? Blaine has been getting shit faced since God knows when and you weren't here!" I spit at her as she comes to sit on the coffee table in front of me, tears still streaming down my face.

"I was at a friend's house! I wanted to give you the apartment to yourselves…I –I thought you were home…"She trails off timidly, playing with her keys in front of her.

"I text you saying my flight got delayed! Cooper tried to phone you and so have I…Why didn't you answer? You could have been here. You could have stopped this-"

"Kurt it's not her fault…" Dale slips in softly beside me, trying desperately to calm me down.

"My battery died! I literally ran here when I saw the messages. I couldn't have stopped this from happening Kurt! Just like you couldn't have either! It's not like there is a phone app for when your boyfriend buys booze!" She argues back, but I notice her eyes are red. She's been crying.

"Santana I don't think that's going to help either…."

"No Dale! She's right I suppose, I'm just mad that we couldn't have done anything to stop this. He should have called one of us, or his sponsor or something!" I sigh in defeat and resume playing with my hands. "Dale you can go home….See Jake and the kids…"

"Not a chance in hell! They might be my family… But so are you!" He squeezes my shoulder.

"Weird family that have seen each other naked…." Santana mumbles, she starts opening drawers and looking inside for something.

"What are you doing Tan?" Dale asks and it draws my attention to her.

"I'm looking for his stash!" She yells from under the TV unit in the corner. "Cooper text me saying I had to look around and make sure there was nothing hidden…"

"Why didn't he tell me that?" I ask, hurt that Cooper didn't trust me enough to do that.

"He didn't want to upset you more than he needed to. I take it you locked him in the bedroom?" She asks as she starts searching through the bookshelf. "That was so he couldn't get to any drink you hadn't found!" What? I was holding him hostage so he couldn't get more drink? He wouldn't do that!

"He wouldn't do that Santana!" I say half resigning from the argument before it even starts.

"You wouldn't know if he had though, would you?" She stops to look at me with one of her 'I know best looks'.

"Of course I would. He's my fiancé…we tell each other everything."

"Oh! So you know why he's currently passed out after having a party all to himself do you?" She continues looking out onto to the fire escape and under lampshades.

"Santana!" Dale hisses angrily before getting up to go check on Blaine in my room.

"What? It's true and you know it! Addicts are good at hiding things…"

"Hey, that's our best friend you're talking about!" I scream at the top of my lungs. She stops then, sensing the mental daggers I'm aiming at her back and comes to sit beside me on the couch.

"Listen to me, I'm not trying to be a bitch Kurt….but you have to stop thinking about this being Blaine and realise he's an alcoholic….he could have been doing this for a longer time without us realising." She says softly and hands me a tissue to wipe my tears.

"Okay. It's just hard to think about him lying about this for a long time." I sniffle as Dale comes back into the room grimacing. "What's wrong?"

'Erm…He's been sick on the bed sheets…." Dale says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Great…." Is all I manage to say while I brace myself for the mess of a room I'm walking into.

* * *

"Kurt?" I mumble quietly from the pillow I'm face planted in, my head feeling like it's about to break out my skull.

"Easy lover boy….it's me." That's not Kurt's voice…How did I get into bed? How did I get my pyjamas on? Where was Kurt?

"What are you doing here Coop?" I ask gently, manoeuvring myself up onto my back and sliding into a sitting position. Cooper is sitting very close to me, almost too close for comfort and eyeing me warily.

"Take these…." He thrusts two pain killers at me and hands me a glass of water to swallow it down. "You look like shit Squirt!"

"Please don't shout at me Coop! My head is killing me…." I moan and have to clutch my head in my hands when it jiggles about. "Did you change me out of my clothes?"

"That would be Kurt…after your 'friends' José and the captain reappeared on the bed sheets…." Oh now I remember, Sebastian, I got drunk and I think Kurt came home….Santana maybe hit me? "What the fuck were you thinking? It's been four years….Why now? When you have plenty of people who love you around?"

"I wasn't thinking-"

"Damn right you weren't thinking! I had to get Dale to physically restrain Santana from impaling you with a sharp object…Kurt's freaking out and I want to know why you thought drowning your sorrows into a bottle would do any good to solve any problem you were having?!" He hisses out and I can tell if we were completely alone I would be getting screamed at.

"I just needed to forget for a little while….I didn't mean to get so bad." I mumble under my breath.

"Forget?!" He shouts this time and I recoil from the noise, wincing at the shooting pain in my temples. "Forget what exactly? That you have a drop dead gorgeous fiancé? A family? Best friends? Gorgeous niece and nephews? Me? What exactly was so horrible that you had to turn to drink?"

"Sebastian was at the pub last night…He got told to check out the singer there which was me and he- he was just saying a lot of stuff that was hard to hear…." I trail off, feeling my eyes start to water but Cooper just stares at me, willing me to continue. "He said that I was worthless, slumming it in a dive bar and wasting my time because Kurt would realise soon enough what a waste of space I was and leave me….I couldn't phone and tell any of you that… it makes me sound pathetic!" I whimper and Cooper hugs me close.

"Bro! Why would you listen to him?! He is not worth your time! And like he can talk? He's the biggest waster to ever leave Ohio-"

"But I'm a waster too Coop! I might not do drugs or anything but – I'm an alcoholic….a waste of space….Look at what I did last night! I'm just as bad as he is…Kurt doesn't deserve someone like me….I think I should maybe go home for a little while-"

"Over my fucking dead body you will!" Santana screeches from the doorway before running in to sit on the bed. "You are not running away like you did in high school! Kurt loves you, and I don't care how much I love you….if you walk out that door? I'll change the locks! And I will make it my mission in life to end you. You're engaged Blaine! This is your home! With him!" She screams at me, jabbing me with a finger as Cooper tries to hold her in place.

"Santana calm down, getting angry isn't going to help anyone!" Cooper says, pinning her to his chest.

"Well someone needs to! Everyone is scared to upset him….What about the fact that Kurt is devastated?" She looks at him imploringly before throwing a glance back at me. "He's been in the fucking shower because of you….God knows how long he would have sat there if Dale hadn't come round. All because you were too chicken shit to tell people something was wrong and took the cowards way out!" She spat at me and then took a huge breath like she was going to go again but then a very timid voice came from the door instead.

"What happened to not going in until Cooper came out?" Kurt stood arms folded across his body and looking like he didn't really know what to do. I swallowed nervously, this was it. The moment I was dreading.

"Kurt, can we talk?" I ask quietly and Cooper and Santana whip round to face him as well.

"Like alone?" I ask with every part of my body, dreading that maybe he doesn't want to talk to me again, ever! He nodded his response, it was subdued but it was there and Cooper and Santana took it as their cue to leave, hugging Kurt as they walked past him. Much to my horror Kurt didn't immediately come and sit down. He padded awkwardly along the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes before sitting as close to the edge as he could without falling off.

"So….what do you want to talk about?" His sullen voice creeps out into the room.

"I'm so sorry Kurt, I never meant for any of this to happen!" I sob brokenly, "I just, I wanted to forget the things I was feeling for a while…I needed to escape…"

"That's what I find hard to believe….." Kurt sighs, looking at me with so much hurt in his eyes. "You say you didn't mean for this to happen, but you went and bought the alcohol Blaine….You knew what you were going to do. And instead of phoning me to explain what happened to you, you decided to get wasted?"

"Kurt it was just… Sebastian said all of this stuff about me being worthless, slumming it, and not reaching my goals…. He said that you would realise what a mistake you had made and leave me….I just- hearing that from him – that he was going to go for you in high school but knew I was the easier choice. He said he got bored with me and that's why everything happened like it did….I felt dirty, tainted, like a waste of space addict….I'm not good enough for you…" I sob openly, wiping harshly at my runny nose.

"Blaine…." Kurt sighs, watching me through hurt eyes. "I just don't know what you want me to do? How can I prove you can trust me, trust that I'm not going anywhere? Do I need to make love to you more often? Be at home whenever you are? Drop everything when you call? Cook you more home cooked dinners? What do I need to do to make you feel loved?"

"I do trust you, I do! It's just I have all these insecurities fighting to get out all the time and I let him get to me…." I sigh, trying not to watch his bottom lip quiver, knowing it's my fault he's like this.

"Do you not want to get married? I mean, I said yes, doesn't that show you I don't want anyone else? I have done nothing but love you since we were eighteen! Is it not enough for you? Just tell me what you want? Because I'm being honest Blaine….you've lost a lot of my trust tonight, I thought we were past keeping secrets….I thought you realised I was in this for the long run, but if you don't know by now what kind of person I am…. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this Blaine…" Kurt stops as his face contorts in anger.

"I do Kurt! I really do…..please don't leave me, I will do anything to prove to you I won't hide secrets or do this again, just tell me what I need to do to regain your trust…." I plead, crawling over closer to him and grabbing his hand into my lap only to have it pulled away.

"I want you to start seeing a therapist….. I'll come too if that's what you want and I want you to start going to AA meetings again, there's one at the local health centre every Tuesday morning." He says seriously and I thank my lucky stars that he is giving me this chance.

"Okay…I'll do it all…I just want you to trust me again…."I ramble, nodding my head incessantly.

"And I want to put any plans for a wedding on hold….just for now." Kurt says and I feel blood pulsating behind my ears.

"Kurt please don't do this, I promise I'll try harder!" I squeak not trusting my voice to say any more.

"I'm not saying we are breaking up because we aren't, I love you…with all my heart, but I don't trust you right now. This isn't a punishment Blaine…we just have a lot of issues to work through first before we can start planning a wedding. We're still engaged…but all the planning is going to be on hold until we get this sorted out. Okay?" He now reaches over for my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze and I almost sigh in relief. Kurt hadn't rejected me. I really wanted him to hold me, but the thought of him having to think about it instead of just doing it terrified me.

"Okay…Will you come with me to the therapist?" I ask shyly as my sobs quiet down at the mere contact of our hands.

"I already have one picked out…." He tries to smile through his pain. "We'll get through this Blaine…" Then his arm draped softly around my shoulder and I had to I wonder which one of us he was reassuring...


	12. What seems to be the problem?

Blaine and I (after convincing Cooper it was fine for him to go back to L.A) had booked an appointment with a therapist for the following week. As much as I had maintained I was happy to do this for him, inside I was crumbling second by second. It's not that I didn't want to do it but the only knowledge I had about therapists was things I had seen on the television and even that couldn't be relied upon as the memories always mashed to make a Jerry Springer style show with chairs getting thrown and pregnancy scandals…..okay it was official I was on the way to a nervous breakdown of all proportions. What if she says Blaine's not good for me? More importantly what if she says that I'm not good enough for Blaine? I should have swept the office before she came in to ensure a body guard named Steve wasn't waiting in the wings to cart me out over his shoulder. Blaine is sitting in virtual silence beside me but occasionally I get a surly look thrown in my direction. Can he hear me? Blaine if you can hear me blink twice? Okay he can't hear me, I really need a drink. No I don't! That wouldn't solve any-

"So Kurt…Blaine what brings you here today?" Dr Lloyd asks casually, her long slim legs crossed at the ankles so she could take notes in her journal. What gets me is what she could have to write about? Is she taking down my height? Eye colour? BMI? My choice of outfit? I've not said anything bar hello when we walked in so she can't be analysing my childhood through hidden meanings in my answers or anything.

"Well….I'm an alcoholic!" Blaine says bluntly and I'm ready to slap his knee down where it is continually bouncing. "And I had a relapse at the weekend…" He says slightly quieter.

"Okay….And what about you Kurt?" She asks, her eyes not even looking at me as she continues to write things down.

"I'm just here to support Blaine….I want him to feel like he can talk to me about anything. We got engaged two months ago and I don't feel happy planning the wedding until we are good again…we need to work through these underlying issues to get there." She just gives me a quick glance before writing something else down. "What are you writing?" She looks at me then.

"Just notes of things you say….Okay so what I want you to do before anything else is go back to when alcohol first became a problem for you Blaine…..and then we will discuss what made you stop, bringing us back around to what made it start this time okay?" We both nod stiffly at her before looking at each other at opposite ends of the couch. "Now before we get started do you have AA meetings near you or available somewhere?"

"Yeah, I found meetings for him at our local health centre…." I say softly, and hear Blaine mumble under his breath beside me.

"Okay that's good!" She smiles at us both. "So Blaine? When did you first realise you had a problem with alcohol?"

"When I was twenty….I umm, I had a pretty bad break up in high school and being on tour when it happened meant I had drink there pretty much twenty four seven…." He said quietly and I glanced over to see him nervously playing with his fingers. "I fell through a window one night and when I woke up in hospital I had no memory of it and that scared me enough to start going to meetings."

"Okay and you had been sober up until this weekend?" She asked, going back to scribbling in her notebook…..and I wish I could see what she found revealing in that sentence other than what Blaine had stated.

"Yeah, it doesn't normally bother me….I have a good sponsor here in the city so I make sure to check in with him once in a while…." Blaine trailed off and kind of chuckled numbly. "Well I thought it didn't…"

"It doesn't…" I sigh wanting to reach out and hold him but things have been awkward between us since his relapse, we've become weird around each other….something we have never been before. It's like he doesn't want to say anything about it to me in case I get mad and instead of asking if he's okay, I just mumble about needing to work on sketches before hiding in our room. It's not that I don't want to talk about it but I just keep replaying him lying in his own vomit and fear that anything I say could be misinterpreted. I don't want to send him back to that. I turn to look at her with wide eyes "Blaine's always around alcohol at parties and he never shows signs of being uncomfortable…"

"Well showing it and feeling it can be two very different things Kurt…." She says scathingly and I have to bite back the rude response bubbling inside of me. This is what she's paid to do…to fix us. "This is what we need to get to the bottom of; Blaine can you describe what started you to use alcohol as a coping method?"

"Well my first serious boyfriend….he was twenty three….he had been fired from his job when I left to go on tour and he didn't tell me. Then Kurt's boyfriend at the time – oh he worked with him….it's kind of how we all met – he found out that he had been fired for doing coke at work." He pauses for a minute and I can tell it's because he is feeling uncomfortable at having to relive this; never mind that fact he's reliving it with a virtual stranger. "Umm, when Dale – that's Kurt's ex's name – when he went to confront him he found him high and being intimate with this random guy…."

"When you say being intimate?" She coaxed, like she didn't know what that meant?!

"They were having sex…" Blaine cringes, before sniffing slightly and although he's trying to avoid eye contact, I can see his eyes blinking furiously to stop any tears from coming out.

"And what happened after that?"

"He turned up at our New Year's party and his friend almost knocked me unconscious, when I came too, Dale filled me in and Santana…that's our other best friend….and I decided to call Blaine and tell him as soon as possible." I say strongly remembering that day all too well in my head.

"Blaine? I would like you to tell me how that made you feel…"

"Kind of numb I guess….it didn't really hit me at first. I just wanted to lock myself away and not talk to anybody. He had been my first love…I gave all my first sexual experiences to him. I trusted him and he threw it back in my face…" Blaine says slowly, not looking around at either of us and instead starts picking at a loose piece of skin on one of his nails. Dr Lloyd just kept scribbling her notes.

"And is that when you started to drink more often?" She asks looking up at him briefly and taking in his curled in composure.

"No…I didn't take the band up on their offer to go out and forget about it until after he phoned me…." Wait what?!

"What?" I screech a little in surprise.

"When who called you Blaine?" Dr Lloyd is very composed, and throws me a silencing glance. How does she do it?

"Sebastian….it was about a week later; he called and sounded….off? He started telling me it was my fault he was like that, that if I had met his needs like a proper boyfriend he wouldn't have needed drugs and other guys. He said that if I hadn't been away trying to live out a never going to happen pipe dream that we would still be together…" Blaine sniffed a little before reaching in to his pocket to pull out a handkerchief to wipe his eyes.

"You never told me that…." I say, trying to not sound accusing. That wouldn't help anything.

"I couldn't! Do you have any idea how little and unimportant that made me feel? How could I phone and tell you that?" he says brokenly.

"Blaine you could tell us anything and we wouldn't think any less of you….we love you." I say softly trying to reach out and touch his hand but he pulls it away.

"I tried to tell you the night of your birthday, that I wasn't coping…but then you said you loved me and I couldn't tell you, could I? I didn't want to hurt you….I didn't deserve your love!" He says harshly and I just stare at him. Did he really believe that back then? Did he still believe that now?

"Blaine…." I sigh because really what else can I say?

"Kurt please don't…" He sniffs quietly not looking at me.

"Okay boys, this is good we have things to work on over these sessions. But for now I want to sum up Blaine's drinking relapse…What happened to set you off?" Dr Lloyd says, clearly making notes about how bad we are at communicating, or how we shouldn't be together….this really isn't going like I thought.

"Sebastian turned up at my work….he said some things…about me…like he did the last time and all of those feelings I felt then came back….I just wanted to not feel anything for a while…" he's still crying and all I want to do is take him out of here and kiss him till he isn't hurt any more. But that won't solve anything.

"It's not just Sebastian though Blaine…" I say suddenly realising I should have seen this coming. "We had a fight a couple of months ago…he was feeling insecure about a guy asking me out. I think these insecurities have been stewing for longer than you have cared to admit…" He doesn't say anything but the scowl I receive is enough of a signal that I am right. Dr Lloyd apparently agrees as she keeps scribbling her thoughts about what I have said.

"Okay good job Blaine, I think we need to call it a day for now and pick up next week." Doctor Lloyd says finally. FINALLY putting down her note pad. "Before you go I want you to say one thing you love about each other…" She watches us expectantly until I realise that Blaine isn't saying anything and I will have to step up.

"I love the way he frowns and sticks his tongue out when he is concentrating." I say firmly knowing that look by heart and it still melts it every time.

"Blaine?"

"I love the way Kurt sings in the shower…he sounds free…" Blaine says simply and it makes me want to cry at the fact that I haven't sung in the shower since before all of this happened.

"Good start boys! I'll see you next week!"

* * *

I avoided looking at Kurt as we left her office. I avoided his concerned glances as we walked along the street. Not arm in arm like we normally would have but with our hands buried deep into our pockets, not even walking close enough together to brush elbows accidentally.

"So what do you think of her?" Kurt asks timidly not looking around at me, his eyes trained on the crooked concrete path in front of us.

"She was okay…" I mean it's not like we were getting to know each other over a civilised high tea. She was our therapist. Our therapist because I had a filthy disease that I couldn't control. "What did you think?"

"If you liked her then I liked her." This was how Kurt seemed to interact with me these days. He wouldn't voice any of his own opinions, which were once few and far between. Instead he would ask what I thought and just blindly agree.

"Kurt you are allowed to have an opinion! I'm not going to down a bottle of vodka every time you disagree with me." I say evenly, I don't want an argument to destroy any progress that session may have made.

"Blaine that's not even funny." Kurt's response is just as short.

"Good because I'm not trying to be." I fume as I have to close the gap between us to squeeze past people walking in the other direction. "I want you to actually say what you are thinking instead of tip toeing around the edges."

"I do say what I'm thinking!" Kurt says quietly, his pace quickening on the side walk meaning I have to double my efforts to keep pace.

"No you don't! Not to me anyway….Unless what your thinking is something you don't want me to hear?" I raise my voice a little determined to have this out with him.

"I don't know what you're trying to imply Blaine? But I don't want to have this discussion here. We can talk about it later."

"Oh I think you know exactly what I'm trying to say and if we don't do this now you will just avoid it until next week when Dr Lloyd forces you to talk about it."

"Blaine…" Kurt actually looks me in the eye then which I suppose is something to be celebrated but it doesn't last before he focuses back out in front of us.

"So you're really saying you have nothing to say? Not about the fact that you hated every minute of that appointment? Or what about the fact that you sleep on the furthest edge of the bed every night because you are so repulsed by me? Or how about the fact that you didn't tell your dad what was going on because you're ashamed of me? Not even to say that you can't bring yourself to even look at me anymore? I don't need you to be a martyr to try and keep me from relapsing again Kurt! If you are that disgusted by me then I can pack up my stuff and leave! I just wish you would have told me that last week instead of feeding me some bullshit excuse about still wanting to marry me when you can't even sit in the same room as me for longer than ten minutes!" I scream, my voice having got louder as I punctuated each point. Kurt had frozen in the middle of the side walk to look round at me with huge eyes. I had hit a nerve and I was going to get the full consequence that I deserved.

"I know that you're hurting right now, so I'm going to pretend you didn't say any of that…" Kurt says in an even tone and I feel awful. Now I've really gone and pissed him off to the point that he is trying not to cry on the busy side walk. "But if you think anything I've done is because I'm embarrassed by you then you really don't have a clue who you are marrying. I can't look at you because I see how trapped in this fucking dark place you are and I feel guilty because I could have been there to stop it and I wasn't. Do you know how hard that is to think about? That I could be just as much to blame for this as anyone else? But I'm not giving up on us. Ever! I just wish you would believe me when I say it." And with that he wanders off towards the shop leaving me to my own thoughts.

* * *

"So…let's talk about how you two met shall we?" We had been sitting in Dr Lloyds office for a while, she had already gone over what we had discussed last week and this is what she thought was appropriate to ask next.

"I was a couple of months shy of turning three…" Blaine starts before laughing a little.

"….I found him crying behind a tree in the park…."I giggle a little too remembering it.

"Kurt immediately asked me to a tea party with his best friend!" Blaine manages to get out through a deep breath.

"But told him dungarees were not acceptable clothes to wear…." I trail off as Dr Lloyd looks at us confused.

"Okay now how did you become a couple? Blaine mentioned you both having other boyfriends in high school but I want to know when you first realised you were more than friends?" We both groan inwardly at that question, she did realise we were paying by the hour right?

"That's kind of how me and Dale got together…..I blurted out that I was in love with my best friend and he helped me through it…then we kind of became more than friends. I broke it off with him when I realised I was only truly in love with Blaine…it all sounds ridiculously high school now I say it all out loud…" I laugh awkwardly as I see a coy smile on Blaine's lips at the far side of the couch. It's more than I usually get these days.

"So that's when you guys got together?" she asks simply and I have to wonder if she is taking down our life story to turn into some tragic love story where the hero dies or something.

"No! We didn't get together till two years ago….Kurt was open to his feelings but uh – I wasn't really ready to let anyone in again after Sebastian…..it took me a long time to realise what I was feeling." Blaine says quietly, collecting his thoughts.

"So when did you realise you loved Kurt?" I blush at the intimacy of the question.

"Deep down? I knew our senior year…if things hadn't taken the turn they did…I probably would have admitted it to him and myself then." He whispers into the room and I feel like a pin could drop.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Angry…annoyed…we could have been celebrating almost seven years together if I hadn't been such a fuck up-"

"You're not a fuck up! Don't say that about yourself!" I almost shout, before collecting myself to continue. "I could have told you before you and Sebastian got serious…but I didn't because I was scared I wasn't good enough for you…we had been friends for fifteen years! That puts a lot of pressure on a high school relationship….who's to say we would have still been together? We were just kids back then…regardless of what we thought." I give his hand a squeeze where it's sitting in the middle of the couch and feel warmth spread over me as he doesn't pull away but instead links our fingers together.

"You and Dale still managed to be friends though…" Blaine mumbles and I see Dr Lloyd look at us in interest.

"Because I was never in love with him and he wasn't in love with me either….we were what each other needed in that moment, but you know we are like family….I love Dale like I love Finn but you? You are the one…." I smile at him trying to show I'm being honest and almost forget she's in the room with us.

"How does it make you feel hearing that Blaine?" I said almost right?

"It makes me feel happy but sad…I feel that about Kurt too…..I always will but I always feel like I'm not enough for him, like he could do so much better…" Blaine slips his hand out of mine then.

"Why do you think that Blaine?" Dr Lloyd asks innocently.

"Because of my past, how I handled his feelings in high school, because I'm an alcoholic, because I'm working in a seedy bar in Bushwick…."

"An amazing bar where everybody loves you! An amazing bar where I get to come and watch you sing with so much passion! I'm so proud watching you on that stage! I'm sure everyone is sick of me telling them that your mine!" I state in exasperation.

"It's not on the cover of any big magazine though is it?" He says bitterly.

"Blaine you could live in a skip wearing socks and sandals and eat stale anchovies all day and I would still want to be with you!"

"You hate anchovies….and people who wear socks and sandals!"

"But I fucking love you!" I yell.

"Okay, let's wrap it up for this week? What one word sums up what you think when you look at each other?" Dr Lloyd asks us both and Blaine surprises me by going first this time, without hesitation.

"Strength…" Is all he says side eyeing me as I think.

"Home…" I say with a dreamy smile because that is how I feel when I'm around him, like I've found the one place I belong.

"Okay good job boys! I want you to say one nice thing about each other every day this week as homework…but I want you to surprise each other with it. Don't wait until you're going to bed or anything, do it at random points throughout the day." We both nod our acknowledgement and exit the room. Walking slightly closer together than we did when we came in.

* * *

"Well you look like shit…" Santana sates as she sits heavily onto the chair beside me.

"Tan please not now…." I whisper out between small sobs escaping from my chest. "I just want to cry and feel like a horrible person without you trying to tell me I'm not." I sniff again as I feel a whole new batch of tears.

"Oh I won't…carry on!" She says seriously and I gawk at her. This is nothing like what any of my other friends have done. I'm as good as labelled with 'fragile' right across my forehead these days.

"That's not very supportive…" I mumble wiping the back of my hands across my eyes roughly.

"Well at least you're not sitting with a bottle of booze….I'd call that progress!" She retorts wittily.

"I don't want to give Kurt a reason to get mad at me again…." Is all I mumble, wiping my running nose against my sleeve.

"Listen Blaine, you are one of my best friends on the planet. And despite your stunted growth and appreciation of every god damn cheesy love song known to mankind? I do love you!" She jokes punching my shoulder a little harder than necessary. "But I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's not your fault and all the other shit, because I think you need to hear a few home truths to sort yourself out. I keep telling everyone to stop babying you but it's falling on deaf ears."

"So everyone is talking about me behind my back?" I ask, sulking down a bit further in my spot. "Great…."

"Oh no you don't!" She hoists me back up again and turns my shoulders to her so I can't look away. "This is truth time…"

"But I don't want truth time! I just got out of my one on one session…" I cry trying to move away from her. I don't get far as her ass takes up residence on my knees as she straddles me, our noses inches apart.

"Don't care Bumble!" She says cutting me off. "You will sit there and listen to me okay?" I don't answer knowing at this point that it's purely rhetorical and in no need of an answer, as she moves back over to her side of the couch. "I think you need to get a grip – I didn't say you could talk – you have been walking about here for weeks with the world on your shoulders, yes it's been a hard time for you, yes you have a drinking problem, yes everyone says they are here for you….but you need to get a grip! Stop throwing yourself a pity party and deal with the hand you have been given. Stop being a dick to your boyfriend who is only trying to help, stop all this woe is me shit and actually try to change your behaviour patterns. I'm fed up of watching Kurt scurrying around and teetering on the edge of his life to make you happy, when really you fucked up! You have the amends to make and the trust to build up again."

I try to speak, but my mind keeps drawing blank. Everything she is saying is true, I can't even deny it.

"Stop thinking the world is out to get you and get a handle on your life….I'm not saying you can't make mistakes, of course you can, we are only human but have the courage to stand up and admit full responsibility and for fuck sake stop making Kurt feel guilty because of the douche move you made! Or so help me Blaine, I will kick your ass all the way back to Ohio and your mom can deal with you!" Santana breaths heavily at the end of her speech and the look I'm getting could easily be for one of those voodoo rituals.

"Okay….I'm sorry for being an idiot, I'll try and keep talking with Kurt and trying to make this better." I say softy trying to calm the rage that can come from her.

"You better! Because I love you, I know it doesn't seem like it right now but I do. More importantly though I love Kurt, not in the homoerotic way you do….but I still love him. So believe me when I say he has been through enough pain in high school because of this. Let him in? He only wants to help you…" She sighs before leaning back in her chair.

"Anything else you want to get off your chest?" I ask noticing that she keeps glancing at me. "You can say it and I won't get upset."

"If you ever drink instead of calling me I'll see to it that you don't have a working cock ever again…" I go to explain why I didn't call her but she seems to be in full flow now she has permission to say it. "I mean kick you in the crotch so hard that your privates will crawl back up inside your body never to return again….you don't want Kurt to worry fine! But you and I both know that nothing shocks me, so there is never an excuse not to call."

"Okay, I promise – " she holds her hand up to silence me.

"I'm not done." She says firmly. "If you ever see Sebastian again you pick up the nearest chair and throw it at him, and run before he can say anything again. Assaults better than peachy getting life for manslaughter if he finds him."

"Okay – "

"And those pants are fucking horrendous!" She says pointing at my plaid pants.

"Hey!" I squeak at her.

"And I love you!" She says bluntly, elbowing my side causing me to get a huge grin on my face. "Don't smile at me like that…..I'll stab you…"

"No you won't…" I say edging towards her to give her a hug. "You love me too much, you just said so..."

"Urgh! Fine just get it over with." She resigns as I scoop her up in my arms, but as much as she acts nonchalant her arms come round my neck to pull me close. This was just what I needed. "Just don't try to put your cock in my ass….I'm not Kurt…" Okay, it was almost just what I needed.

* * *

"…Okay so now you've pretended that you're fine, we have ten minutes left. Shall we talk about what's really going on with you two today?" Her dark green eyes staring us both down. I realise now sitting with my arms crossed across my chest and my top leg swinging constantly probably tipped her off, but to be fair Blaine making snarky comments weren't helping either.

"It's nothing…" I shrug indifferently.

"We're fine…" Blaine grumbles at the same time.

"Boys? We are in a safe space! And above all else your body language is telling me you are definitely not fine. If we don't talk about it then it won't get resolved…" She says looking pointedly and putting her notepad down on her table. Over the last few weeks I've realised that means she is ready to coax it out of you whether you want her to or not. The question is how long will you last.

"Kurt doesn't want to have sex with me!" Blaine blurts out sitting a little further forward in his chair.

"Blaine!"

"It's okay Kurt! We are all consenting adults here….nobodies breaking the law by talking about sex. Blaine why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Okay so Kurt had been at work all day and I was going stir crazy! Santana's out on another press tour for her album so I was home alone all day and I thought I would do something special…." Blaine nods as he talks and I stay routed in position embarrassed that we are talking to a fifty something woman about our sex life. "So I decided to make him cheesecake…I put candles out everywhere…the whole romantic night in setting and I thought it would maybe help us be intimate again….but after dinner Kurt just fobbed me off saying he was too tired and wanted an early night…" Blaine says glaring at me from his spot.

"I was tired, I don't need to have sex with you every night Blaine!"

"Being tired has never stopped you before…..and we haven't been intimate in over a month Kurt!" He only stops when Dr Lloyd holds her hand up to get his attention.

"Blaine….shouting doesn't help convey your argument." She says before fixing her stony stare onto me. "Kurt why don't you want to be intimate with Blaine?" Is she for real!?

"I don't want to harm his recovery….I know how hard he's working going to AA meetings and coming here….I just don't want to hurt him getting better-"

"I'm not a fucking china doll Kurt! I won't break if you touch my dick! Do you not find me attractive anymore?" He practically screams at me. "I mean having to clean up your boyfriends sick and change him because he's so drunk isn't as sexy as it sounds really is it?"

"Blaine….of course I'm attracted to you….its just-"

"It's just that I'm an alcoholic right? Or it's not me it's you?" he spits out in anger and I feel a stabbing ache in my chest.

"Okay stop! And take a breath both of you, Kurt can you try and explain what it is that you wanted to say?" Dr Lloyd asks with an encouraging smile.

"I wanted to say that I am still attracted to Blaine, I always will be even when we are old…and he's grey" I try to joke but Blaine's not biting. "But seeing him like that terrified me. The thought of losing him because he felt he couldn't talk to me terrified me. I don't want us to rush into having sex again and for nothing to change. If I thought it would make him think I didn't want him any more I would have just slept with him…." I bite my bottom lip to stop me getting emotional and I feel Blaine come closer and wrap an arm around me, pulling me against his side.

"I'm sorry…I just miss you….I miss us!" he whispers into my hair, taking in a deep breath of my scent.

"I know….so do I." I say softly under his chin and enjoy having him closer to me than he has been out of bed in a long time.

"Now that that is settled….I have some more homework for you. I want you to take the time to be intimate with each other at least twice this week." Our faces must be a picture from how quick she backs her statement up. "Not necessarily sex but an act of intimacy…having a bath together…or taking time to lie together doing nothing. Something you would do without any thought normally. Okay?" She asks with a broad grin.

"Yeah that sounds perfect…" I smile happily as I walk out arm in arm with Blaine.


	13. Running Commentary

"I'm running late I know….I know! Fucking shoot the taxi driver down!" Santana screeches as she blazes through to my studio past several customers' having civilised cocktails. When I look up at her bursting through the door I spit half my egg salad back out. There was my best friend standing in her bra and tube skirt while her top was dragging along the floor. "Where do you want me?" she asks as if nothing is wrong. Dale who had been quietly sipping coffee opposite me splutters as the warm liquid spits back out of his mouth.

"Tan! Gay guy eating over here!" he wines dramatically pushing away his salad bowl on the desk in disgust. Santana, never one to miss an opportunity, picks some up into her newly manicured fingers and begins shovelling it into her mouth in an unladylike manner. "You could at least swallow first…" he groans taking another swig of his coffee.

"Please?! You're not talking to your dutiful husband right now…." She smirks at his blush stained cheeks. "I can totally picture you in the oral act…pure filth!" she giggles stepping out of her skirt and standing on the step in the middle of the room.

"Kurt? I don't know whether to be proud she has under wear on or horrified that it's a leather thong…." Dale looks soberly at me. "Is this what my life has been reduced to?" I swat my hand at him as he heads to the closet where Lydia has awoken from her nap, before pulling a rack out beside me with the dress on it. I'm really proud of it; it captures Santana fierce enough with strong leather shoulders and bodice trailing tightly down her body to an off white and black lace at the bottom. Perfect in my opinion and Santana's face seems to match my enthusiasm.

"Oh my god Kurt…..this is like….like that dress everyone will talk about!" She squeals hastily pulling it on and turning to let me fasten it behind her neck. "In your face fucking ...….I have an amazing Kurt Hummel original! And you can suck it!" she squeals excitedly turning this way and that to look in the mirror. Dale blows out a whistle as he comes back into view, Lydia alert and watching everything with awe.

"Wow….you look…"Dale says watching her twirl before she stops to look at him.

"You would totally do me in this dress!" She sighs happily.

"Hmmm….if I wasn't gay…" Dale justifies the answer a little clearer.

"You would totally ride me hard if you were single…..gay or straight! This dress is totally sexuality neutral!" she claps her hands in excitement.

"That is wrong on so many levels…." I tut, moving my stool over to do some last minute hand stitching. I can feel Dale pull a chair over and start gurgling to Lydia on his knee.

"He's not answering because he knows it's true…..Kurt Hummel designs screams sex!" she grunts thrusting her hips in a suggestive manner.

"I'm not answering because I don't want my child's mind to be corrupted by you…" He says as he dangles a teething ring in front of Lydia's face to get her to chew on it.

"Hold on! My designs don't scream sex!" I say realising what she's implying. "I'm not some nymphomaniac…if I was, the eighty year old I just designed a dress for does not meet the brief!"

"Imagine how much more amusing it would be if it did though?" Santana arches her eyebrow at me and swiftly turns her gaze to Lydia. "Oh my gorgeous girl! Have you got bad teeth? If Daddy listened to Aunty Tan you would have no sore gums anymore! No you wouldn't!" She coo's earning her a dribble covered smile.

"And Daddy would end up in prison! Because slipping whiskey into your bottle is child abuse! Yes it is and your daddies don't look good in orange!" Dale smiles at her as she takes in everything he is saying before pushing her finger up his nose. "Lydia not up there! You won't get a boyfriend if you keep that up!" He smiles lovingly at her as she repeats it again.

"A girlfriend however would be totally impressed by that finger action…." We both turn to throw daggers at her and she shrugs her shoulders. "Hey I'm just stating the obvious….."

"Okay Tan! Hold still or my pin is being used as a torture weapon!" I grin at her wickedly waving the pin around in my hand.

"Yeah and blood marks on your dress are soooo Lindsey Lohan…the after Disney years!" Dale shoots his eyebrows up his forehead in mock horror and Lydia reaches forward to stick her finger in his brow lines. "I have wrinkles and my child finds it amusing….why does my child find it amusing?"

"You don't have wrinkles! They are frown lines even peachy has them – OH! Kurt that hurt!"

"Don't talk such slander then! Kurt Hummel doesn't have frown lines….And for the record he will never have grey hair either!" I say strongly and she just shakes her head in amusement.

"If you're anything like big bird you'll have no hair to turn grey….." She stops when she catches a glimpse of the pin I'm holding hovering at the back of her knee. "I'm joking! I'm joking! You will never get old, bald, grey or have those disgusting orthopaedic shoes…..you will be eternally young!" she sings dramatically and Lydia goes cross eyed trying to clap her hands.

"Is that a preview of a new album song? It's not got that catchy a ring to it Tan!" Dale giggles from his chair.

"Ha-ha you're so fucking hilarious! Why did I invite you to my party?" She snarls at him with a gleam in her eye.

"Because your best gays aren't going and you had to level out the minority guests attending?"

"That totally must be it…..Or that it gives you an excuse to ship the kids off to grandma and grandpa so you can have loud, drunk and very dirty sex….It's like I have my own charity…..helping sex starved parents everywhere!" She rolls her eyes at him before looking down to me. "It's a shame my fabulous designer won't be there to reap the benefits of his hard work though….." she sighs dramatically and I don't look up at her.

"Santana we have been through this! I can't go!" I say tetchily tying off my last alterations and moving back enough so she can turn around a few times.

"He's not going to break if you leave him alone for one night Kurt….You deserve to have some fun!" She says seriously and I can tell she means business even if I can't see her face.

"Santana you know why he isn't coming, don't make him feel bad for it!" Dale sighs from the corner.

"I get it, Blaine's having problems but that doesn't mean you need to stay home all the time too….it's been almost three months! He won't crumble if you go out for the night!" Santana says stripping the dress off again and starting to put her own clothes back on.

"I know that Santana…."I sigh putting her dress in a garment bag before sitting back on a chair.

"Then why won't you come to my album launch!?" she half shouts and swipes Lydia out of Dales arms to cuddle the little girl on her own chair. "Is this like payback for the time I stole your skinny jeans? Because I didn't know the foam would stain them!" She says apologetically and I wonder what jeans she is referring to.

"Hold on why did you wear Kurt's jeans?" Dale asks from the corner, a frown on his face.

"They were tighter than any pair I owned!" she says as if it's obvious and Dale just rolls his eyes.

"First off my jeans are not that tight…." They both throw me a yeah right look which I choose to ignore. "Secondly that isn't why I'm not coming to your party!"

"Well why? What could be more important than supporting your best friend?"

"One of his best friends…" Dale throws in from his spot in the corner where he is now flipping through a magazine.

"Having sex with my boyfriend!" I scream and they both stare at me, jaws wide.

"Sex? Sex with your boyfriend….as in you haven't been having it? I live with you! How did I not know you weren't having it?" Santana mumbles. "You fuck like rabbits-"

"Tan language! Baby present!" Dale directs at her before looking towards me again. "You haven't had sex…since before his relapse?"

"No, I didn't want to stunt his growth…." I try to explain and hate that I'm blushing.

"Ha-ha stunt his growth!" Santana chuckles hold Lydia up as a shield before I could hit her.

"You know what I mean! But he's been doing so well in our sessions and I feel like we are back to our kind of honesty level again so I thought tonight would be a perfect-"

"Chance to fuck each other's brains out?" Santana says and turns Lydia around to face her. "See what I have to deal with baby girl? You should just love girls like me….penises are too much hassle!"

"Santana…don't make me give you a baby time out….." Dale counters.

"At least she said penis this time…" I offer helpfully. "Tan if you really want me to come I will, but I do feel bad leaving Blaine at home….at least if I stayed we could….reconnect again. In private…" I say softly trying to make her understand I wouldn't just miss this for any old problem. She silently pulls faces at Lydia for a minute before looking back over to me.

"No it's fine….there will be other parties right? You just take care of bumble….in all senses of the word…" She grins wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Tan, don't you have to be at the salon? It's almost three…." Dale says pointing to the clock on the wall.

"Shit!" she says jumping up and grabbing her bag before running out the door. I turned confused to Dale and he just held up his fingers counting down from five to one as she ran back in. "Couldn't have told me I still had the baby?" She gripes handing Lydia over to Dale and went to run back out the door.

"Tan?!" I shout after her standing up and holding the garment bag out in front of me. She skids to a halt in front of me and snatches the bag.

"Thanks peachy I love you!" She kisses my nose before running back out the front and screaming "FUCK HIM HARD!" Before the front door slams shut and the chimes rattle in her wake.

"Pretty sure your customers can do a tell all and make it sound like you're running a brothel….." Dale giggles as I sigh to myself. I ignore him and walk over to the closet to pull out his own garment bag and a smaller one, before heading back towards him.

"For the Porters…." I add with a flourish of my hand and a slight bow. "Suits for Daddies…and a dress for Princess Beau…." I smile wiggling the bags in front of my body.

"Kurt she's not even going tonight….and unlike the kind of family you wish we had….staying with Jake's Moms isn't a red carpet event-"

"But I even made her little patent shoes….." I whine dramatically waving the bag in front of him and Lydia starts to giggle.

"Fine….but if you tell Jake we did another photo shoot without him I am forever going to be on the couch!" He sighs in defeat before taking the garment bag and trying to start undressing Lydia. "Lydia can you say let's keep secrets from Daddy?" Lydia watches us both seriously for a minute before clapping her hands again.

"TA!" she squealed in delight as he blew raspberries across her now bare stomach.

"I'll go get the camera!" I sing happily before skipping off to the front of the shop.

* * *

"Blaine?" I whisper softly into the darkened room. In our haste to get to bed I hadn't fully shut the blinds and there was a gap where sunlight crept through, threatening the early morning upon us as we lay naked and tangled together in bed. Blaine's even breath was drifting out into the open space, as he lies on his back with his side press against my chest. "Blaine?" I whisper a little louder and feel his body tense up beside me.

"Noooo" he mumbles beside me still not opening his eyes.

"You don't even know what I was about to say…" I point out, softly rubbing my nose against his ear.

"Don't care….too early…" he huffs out between a few yawns.

"But I'm naked…." I smile as his fingers around my waist twitch slightly.

"I caused that….." he grins but keeps his eyes closed tight.

"Blaine…."I whine a little louder in his ear, he moves his free arm over my mouth to muffle whatever I am about to say.

"Sleep now….sex later…." His voice is thick with sleep but I can tell he's more awake than he's letting on so decided to nip the palm of his hand with my teeth. "Oww you bit me!" He moans loudly and opens his eyes to look at me; I bat my eyes innocently as if I didn't. "If I move my hand are you going to start conspiracy theories? Because I need coffee before any part of my brain will work properly." He says firmly and I shake my head. After thinking it over for a minute he drops his hand to let me talk.

"There's someone in Santana's room!" I say excitedly and he groans closing his eyes again.

"No, no, no, NO! No talk of girl on girl activity in our room…." He moans rubbing at his head.

"But it could be Maya…." I say forcing his eyes back open with my fingers. "Don't you know what this means!"

"Kurt you said you weren't getting involved! I call this getting involved!" He says evenly trying to blink under my fingers. "Will you let me blink?"

"Are you going to go back to sleep?"

"Are you going to keep plotting how to find out who is through there?"

"Are you going to help me with my plan?"

"Are you going to keep answering all my questions with a question?" I growl letting his eyes go as he blinks a few times to get them to stop watering. "Thank you!"

"Can we go check who's in there?" I beg nodding towards the door; Blaine uses this time to pull himself up against the head board before pulling me up on to his chest. "Just a quick peek round the door they will never know!"

"Kurt they could be naked…..they could be having sex…and as much as I love Santana that is not an image I want ingrained in my memory." He explains, trailing his finger up and down my side. "You will just have to wait for her to tell you."

"But that would take forever!" I whine like a petulant child, life is so unfair sometimes! "Can't we just go and spy like good friends would?"

"I'd prefer to stay here, very naked like good fiancés would!" he laughs squeezing me tight to his chest. "I'm sure we could find something to do…" he says, arching his eyebrow in a mischievous grin.

"No sex for you until you help me!" I say standing up to pace the floor at the bottom of the bed. "She could have anyone through there, and if she does Maya will be hurt. But if Maya's through there she might be even more upset if this is just a drunken fumble, but what if it's not a drunken fumble? Oh my god what if they are getting back together! That's like the best love story ever!"

"Kurt if you want me to concentrate on anything you need to put some sweats on…." Blaine says waving his hands towards my naked body. "Plus I'm pretty sure that our love story is the best!" he adds as I start to pull some clothes on and throw a hoodie and pants at him.

"Yeah but now we are engaged. Remember when we were all oblivious to our feelings and had all these awkward moments and secret looks and blurting out our feelings during a huge argument…..that's what makes the story great…angst! Everyone loves a bit of angst!"

"That was hell! You thought so at the time too! It just gets romanticised as time moves on because you remember things differently, I think our current love story is much better!" he says decidedly, moving over to stand in front of me.

"Your right I suppose…if there was a time machine I would definitely go back and tell teenage me to not worry, soul mates always find each other." I hold one of his hands in mine and give it a gentle squeeze.

"Whereas I would go back and tell teenage Blaine to never start drinking, meaning I wouldn't have had a relapse meaning we could have been at the party and we would have known who was with Santana, meaning we could be having sex right now instead of getting up to meddle!" Blaine says seriously but picks my other hand up to squeeze it too.

"Ha-ha your funny, you wouldn't give him a heads up that he loved me?" I say coyly, taking a step towards him.

"Hey if I had told him that first I would have just got Kurt sex then….you would have maybe even done that thing with your tongue-"

"No I didn't learn that till I was twenty…." I smile giving him a gentle kiss before pulling back. "…..and you're totally welcome for that though…."

"If you want me to function like a polite man you better move away from me and go make coffee…." He states simply, before I kiss his nose and pull him out the room after me. "I'm totally serious."

* * *

An hour later we were sitting on the couch hate watching four weddings and I was slowly becoming more agitated. I couldn't say I wished I was at the album launch party because me and Blaine were finally in sync again and I wouldn't trade that for the world…..but I wish I knew who was in there, it's a gay best friends right surely? I had already tried to open the door which was locked, which then led me to using a hand mirror to try and slide it under the door. Blaine had put a stop to that and told me as politely as he could that I was acting bat shit crazy. It's not like I can help it though! I hate not knowing things and I was becoming increasingly irate as the minutes slowly dragged by.

"Kurt? A watched pot never boils…." Blaine smiles smugly to himself as I grunt from beside him.

"But a watched best friend's door might show a slutty one night stand!" I counter happily, but the door remains firmly in place. I wish I had laser beams for eyes….it would really help in these kinds of situations. "That dress is horrendous!" I sneer as an over the top bride rants to the camera in what can only be described as the parachute that time forgot.

"Always with the dresses…..it's not like one will ever be a problem when we get married…." Blaine mumbles from under his coffee cup. "If we get married…"he mumbles slightly quieter but I hear it.

"When!" I say loudly into his ear as I curl back round him to rub my nose against his cheek. "You put a ring on it….that is a binding contract! No takesies backsies!"

"Are you five?" He laughs at my childish behaviour, before something on the screen catches his attention. "Husbands a two….and that's on a good day!"

"I'm pretty sure you are the only man on the planet to use a scoring system for the husbands…"I shake my head in disbelief at his favourite part of this show.

"Are you kidding?! It's like high school but we can be the bitchy cheerleaders-"

"I always knew you wanted to be a cheerleader….just the thought of all that polyester…." I shudder at the thought.

"Shut up you know what I mean! You get to be all judgemental with no effects."

"Slight flaw in the plan…."I say realising his error. "Who do you judge when its two guys?" Blaine looks completely flummoxed for a minute before responding.

"The ugliest one?" he asks as if it's a question.

"So who would get rated out of us?" I ask in amusement knowing he will squirm before answering.

"Don't answer that it's a trap!" Cooper screams as he burst through the door. How we hadn't heard him sneak in I have no idea.

"How are you up this early?" Blaine asks in surprise and I turn to take a really good look at him. He's still in his outfit I had made for the night before, his hair is on the wrong side of dishevelled and that grin he is wearing can only mean one thing….

"Who says I've been to sleep?" he answers cockily as he thumps down into a chair opposite us.

"You're ridiculous!" Blaine groans as he winks at us. "Who was it this time?" Cooper frowns slightly and I laugh.

"You don't know her name do you?" I ask feeling highly amused.

"One was blonde…." He says looking to the ceiling in thought.

"One? As in there was more than one?" Blaine asks in shock.

"Scarecrow tell him it's not a big deal to have a threesome in this day and age! You did it!" Cooper exclaims and I choke on the coffee I was swallowing.

"What-you-how-" Blaine stutters staring at me confused.

"Shit! He didn't know that?" Cooper says rubbing his hand through his hair as I glare at him.

"You think?" I say sarcastically. "Blaine it was a long time ago after one too many cocktails and it was horrible….." I say softly facing Blaine.

"Please tell me it wasn't with Dale and Jake…"

"EWWWW!" Cooper wails from his chair.

"NO! It was someone I was dating and a guy he knew…no big deal! And don't get any ideas because I'm not sharing you with anyone!" I say firmly kissing Blaine's nose before looking back to Cooper. "Go and sleep off your drink induced state….We want all the party gossip when you wake up!"

"Have you changed the sheets?" Cooper asks with a raised eye brow as he gets up to stumble to our room.

"Yes! This morning…." Blaine says as Cooper laughs.

"I knew you were at it last night! The mark on Kurt's neck was a dead giveaway!" he yells before slamming the door behind him.

"My brother ladies and gentlemen…." Blaine mumbles sinking against my body again before wrapping his arms around me. "Sorry about your neck…..but I'm not really sorry!" he giggles a little at the statement.

"It's okay….at least I have a scarf obsession to cover it up!" I smile using my hand to play with his curls. There were a few muffled bangs and then a squeak as Santana's door started to open. "Oh my god it's happening!" I whisper holding my breath as the footsteps get closer, but still quiet like the owner is bare foot.

"Oh shit!" is all that comes out of her mouth as she catches sight of me and Blaine on the couch, as predicted her platform wedges were in her hand.

"And first out today ladies and Gentlemen is Maya Benson…." Blaine smiles broadly as she just stands at the edge of the room, almost like she's debating whether to run back or not.

"Maya is a twenty three year old designer who works with the very talented Kurt Hummel…" I say with a huge grin as she rolls her eyes.

"Maya comes in at around 5'6 with olive skin and gorgeous long auburn hair…." Blaine continues, his eyes not leaving Maya for a second.

"And today she is wearing the new fashion forward collection called Dirty little stop out…..and the incredibly sought after shoe bracelet…..but there is only one question left to answer…." I trail off as she tries to stare me down.

"…..Is she going commando-"

"You guys suck ass!" Maya huffs in annoyance before storming out the apartment. We both burst into hysterics before catching each other's gaze and realizing Santana's door is now unlocked and she is probably awake. Without another thought we both lunge off of the couch and burst into Santana's room slamming down onto the lump beneath the bed sheet that has to be her.

"Fuck off….." she drones, her voice husky from one too many glasses of champagne.

"How rude! Would you believe this is the attitude of the girl who had sex with her ex-girlfriend all last night?" I ask Blaine still engulfing Santana's hidden body on top of the comforter.

"Hmmm…maybe she's turning into one of those people with morals….maybe she can't hack a passionate night of fucking anymore…"Blaine coaxes knowing Santana will eventually take the bait.

"Your right! I mean she is almost twenty eight…Definitely past her prime….." I smile as Blaine winks at me.

"I mean it's not like Maya seemed that satisfied either…she's obviously lost her powers when it comes to sex…" Blaine is cut off by Santana wriggling underneath him and after a few minutes her head pops out next to us.

"Fuck both of you! I am and will always be an amazing lover!" She says bluntly before looking at me. "What is it Kurt?!"

"What does this mean?" I ask excitedly and Santana just rolls her eyes.

"That you are seriously killing my happy buzz….don't you have your own bed to go to?"

"Cooper is in it! Come on tell us what happened?" Blaine urges and I find it amusing how against this he was an hour ago.

"Party was a success, I got really drunk, set Coop up with two backing singers, bumped into Maya, foreplay in the taxi, lots of sex and then you two appeared!" She says in a droll voice.

"But what does this mean? Are you getting back together?" I bounce a little on the bed.

"I don't know okay?!" Santana yells in frustration.

"But do you want too?" Blaine asks teasingly.

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Arghhh! This is so exciting we can double date and –"

"NO! No way! Over my dead body Hummel!" She says cutting me off.

"You love her!" Blaine exclaims in equal excitement.

"No I don't!" Santana groans. "Now I have a raging hangover if you are staying in this area it will be to spoon me to sleep…" We both huddle in under the covers deciding there will be plenty of time to interrogate the pair and then Blaine jumps out the bed like he has been bitten.

"You're naked!" he screams holding in his automatic reflex to gag at all things girl.

"Hahaha worth it every time…." Santana mumbles before shutting her eyes and pinning me down beside her.


End file.
